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My best friend is affecting my relationship with my boyfriend?


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Old 11th November 2012, 9:12 PM   #1
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My best friend is affecting my relationship with my boyfriend?

My best friend and I have been friends for 5 years now. We live a fair distance from each other, but she's super friendly with both my boyfriend and I.

She was dating a guy herself, but she had her own bad breakup recently. At first, I was totally okay with her coming to me to vent, as I wanted to be there for her. But the problem arose when she started to REALLY get attached and tried to always have me be there for her. When I couldn't, because I had other priorities (ie: spending with my boyfriend or other friends), I'd be labelled a "bad friend" because I wasn't there for her.

Then she started going to my boyfriend for "support." Him, being the good guy he is, would of course listen to her vent and be there for her. The problem was when she started intruding on time between us. She'd call my boyfriend while he was with me, and he would feel bad if he didn't take the call when she was clearly in "need." Of course, if I told him not to since he was with me, she'd hear of it and just tell my boyfriend how I was being "inconsiderate" and a "bad friend."

I can handle her when she's like this, but my boyfriend does not know her on the level I do - he's known her only the amount of time we've been together, and even so their interactions have always been with or through me.

I feel like she's manipulating him, and I can see he's frustrated because he doesn't know how to handle the situation. My friend does not understand where I'm coming from at all - she just gets mad at me, or somehow I end up being the "bad" person in the picture in her eyes for "neglecting my best friend" during her time of need.

My boyfriend, however, does not how to properly handle this. It's beginning to stress both of us out, because he simply can not say no to her. And she doesn't think she's doing anything wrong.

I'm stuck here. I love him to death, but she's seriously intruding on us. And the few times I've tried to explain this to her, she's always found a way to make it somehow my fault.

What do I do? I love him so dearly, and I hate that this is affecting us.
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Old 11th November 2012, 9:31 PM   #2
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You both need to set clear boundaries about how much time you're willing to provide free therapy for someone.

My experience with friends like that, is that they won't be there to reciprocate when the tables are turned--I've learned some hard, painful lessons about that.

It's also NOT cool that they she tries to guilt trip both of you, it's emotional blackmail. (look it up--enlightening reading)

Just because she calls, you DON'T have to answer the phone during your one-on-one time with your bf.

Your friend isn't taking into account that YOU have emotional needs, too.
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Old 11th November 2012, 11:19 PM   #3
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It's genuine so far!

It appears that both your friend and boy friend are genuine so far.

She desparately seeks emotional support and I don't think it's good to let your BF to cater it. I think she is not doing it intentionally, all what she wants is 'emotional support'.

I think you should be there for her 'emotional support' instead of your BF. Try to listen to her with more sympathy, it may prevent her running to your BF.
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Old 12th November 2012, 12:08 AM   #4
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She sounds like a terrible, awful friend!

Always calling you a bad friend if you don't drop everything and be at her beck and call 24/7?

Calling your boyfriend? Wtf is that about? That is SO crossing a line, if you ask me.

And I'm sorry, but why does your bf answer when she calls? I think this is a red flag, tbh. Is she attractive?
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Old 12th November 2012, 1:49 AM   #5
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Originally Posted by kamani View Post
It appears that both your friend and boy friend are genuine so far.

She desparately seeks emotional support and I don't think it's good to let your BF to cater it. I think she is not doing it intentionally, all what she wants is 'emotional support'.

I think you should be there for her 'emotional support' instead of your BF. Try to listen to her with more sympathy, it may prevent her running to your BF.
Honestly, I was there for her a LOT the first little bit. It was because I wasn't there 24/7 (I wouldn't drop everything I was doing to be her emotional crutch, DESPITE THE FACT I was still there for her a lot) that she started reaching for my boyfriend (for some reason, she found it okay to reach out to him). I tried to point out to her that she and my boyfriend barely even KNEW each other, and what the heck was she doing going to HIM, but I ended up being labelled as insecure, selfish, etc.
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Old 12th November 2012, 1:52 AM   #6
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She sounds like a terrible, awful friend!

Always calling you a bad friend if you don't drop everything and be at her beck and call 24/7?

Calling your boyfriend? Wtf is that about? That is SO crossing a line, if you ask me.

And I'm sorry, but why does your bf answer when she calls? I think this is a red flag, tbh. Is she attractive?
He answers because he's a good guy, she knows he's heartbroken, and he has this instinct in him that just wants to HELP. And when she calls him, and he know she's in distress, he feels bad for "abandoning" her while she clearly "needs" someone to talk to, and feels like it's his duty to oblige since she reached out to HIM. I've tried explaining to him that it's not abandoning her or inconsiderate of him to not pick up, but the guilt eats at him till he eventually gives in and calls her back and/or answers the call. It drives me INSANE. And of course, I end up being labelled as the selfish and inconsiderate person in the equation. I'm quite afraid my boyfriend is starting to believe this himself.

I've tried explaining to her that I DO want to be there for her, but her overly neediness of me and demands of me (constant guilt trips of "a REAL FRIEND would ____" or "If it were you, I would ___") are seriously draining me, making it impossible for me to be there for her like I want to. I'm starting to harbor my own negative feelings towards her, which I've been lashed out as being a bitch if try to open up about them, because I'm "kicking her" while she's already down.

I understand why you would say it'd be a red flag, but trust me, I'm positive my bf has no interest in her like that. She's a very attractive woman, but I think she could be the world's hottest model and it wouldn't change anything - I legitimately am sure he has no romantic interest in her.

Last edited by Merenishen; 12th November 2012 at 1:55 AM..
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Old 12th November 2012, 9:32 AM   #7
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Originally Posted by Merenishen View Post
He answers because he's a good guy, she knows he's heartbroken, and he has this instinct in him that just wants to HELP. And when she calls him, and he know she's in distress, he feels bad for "abandoning" her while she clearly "needs" someone to talk to, and feels like it's his duty to oblige since she reached out to HIM. I've tried explaining to him that it's not abandoning her or inconsiderate of him to not pick up, but the guilt eats at him till he eventually gives in and calls her back and/or answers the call. It drives me INSANE. And of course, I end up being labelled as the selfish and inconsiderate person in the equation. I'm quite afraid my boyfriend is starting to believe this himself.

I've tried explaining to her that I DO want to be there for her, but her overly neediness of me and demands of me (constant guilt trips of "a REAL FRIEND would ____" or "If it were you, I would ___") are seriously draining me, making it impossible for me to be there for her like I want to. I'm starting to harbor my own negative feelings towards her, which I've been lashed out as being a bitch if try to open up about them, because I'm "kicking her" while she's already down.

I understand why you would say it'd be a red flag, but trust me, I'm positive my bf has no interest in her like that. She's a very attractive woman, but I think she could be the world's hottest model and it wouldn't change anything - I legitimately am sure he has no romantic interest in her.

I agree with this being a red flag.
I'm not presuming your bf would cheat on you--HOWEVER...

He's demonstrating very poor boundaries.HIS need to play Rescuer to the Damsel In Distress IS a red flag.........And those types of poor boundaries are what can lead to infidelity, both emotional ,and/or physical.

If you spent some time reading the infidelity section here--you'd start to see that there's a huge amount of affairs that begin with the husband/partner playing the Rescuer, and helping out a female "friend" with her relationship issues. He's getting an ego boost from playing that role, as she plays the victim, and you're getting painted as "the bad guy" if you complain.This type of triangulation WILL start to drive a wedge between you & your boyfriend. From what you posted---that's already starting to happen.
He's putting her emotional needs ahead of yours---and YOU'RE getting short-changed.That needs to STOP, five minutes ago.


Please look closely at the parts of your post that I bolded---and think about why you're allowing a friend to speak to you that way, when you've been supporting her. You're demonstrating weak boundaries, too.I don't mean that as a put-down, I'm trying to shine a light on what's happening.

She's insulting you,and attempting to manipulate you through guilt-tripping.
Calling you "a bad friend" and "inconsiderate" is WAY out of line.

Instead of being grateful for the all the support you've provided so far--
She's calling you names, when you try to live your own life.

And contacting your bf, when she hardly knew him, to get her emotional needs met, was an enormous boundary breach, and incredibly disrespectful to you.


Any female friend who starts getting chummy with your bf, without your blessing, and expects him to "be there for her"---is not concerned with YOUR best interests. And if she's bad-mouthing you to him---she is NOT your friend. A true friend doesn't complain about you behind your back, to the most important person in your life.

She's taken advantage of your kindness, and compassion.And repaid you with disrespect.

Doesn't she have any other friends to turn to? (red flag)
If she doesn't--it could very well be that she's repeated this scenario before, and burnt out her other friends.

It's one thing to provide emotional support to a friend in a genuine crisis--it's a whole 'nuther thing to be treated like a free therapist on call.

Here's my prediction--

You're going to realize that she's being a lousy friend to you.
You'll distance yourself even more--if you don't kick her to the curb altogether.

She will go running to your boyfriend, crying--painting you as "mean" and "unreasonable" and "selfish". She'll either expect him "to talk some sense into you" on her behalf, OR she'll decide that she & him have this 'special' friendship that doesn't need to end, just because you & her fell out.And she'll continue to expect him to be her rescuer, and make demands of his time, attention, and energy---which will interfere with your quality time with your boyfriend.

Think about how YOU will feel--if he maintains a friendship with her, after you cut her loose.

And if you & he ever hit a rough patch--she won't be in your corner.Count on that. Think about how you'll feel, if she offers to support him, when he's having issues with you? Consider the implications of that kind of dynamic happening.............

If she was a true friend to you--she would never even dream of doing anything to damage your relationship with your bf. No if's and's, or but's.

I'd like to recommend that you show your bf what I've written--perhaps it will be an eye-opener.
It's commendable that he's compassionate enough to want to provide support to someone, but it should never be at the expense of the primary relationship. A lot of good guys fall into that trap, and don't realize how much it can damage their main relationship.

You both need to present a united front, and tell her to find a good therapist, to help her to deal with her emotional needs. If she balks--and responds by trying to manipulate, and guilt-trip you further, that will demonstrate that she's only concerned with her own needs.Then both of you cut her loose.......... or, it will only get worse.




**I'd also like to recommend that you do a search on "Karpman's Drama Triangle"---because it's happening in your life, right now. (and you're being cast as the Persecutor)
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Old 12th November 2012, 12:23 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by Merenishen View Post
because he simply can not say no to her

Why not?

Sounds like he has an ulterior motive to me...

This is why you should only have fat friends.
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Old 12th November 2012, 12:56 PM   #9
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She'd call my boyfriend while he was with me, and he would feel bad if he didn't take the call when she was clearly in "need." Of course, if I told him not to since he was with me, she'd hear of it and just tell my boyfriend how I was being "inconsiderate" and a "bad friend."
.
How would she 'hear of it'?
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Old 12th November 2012, 1:06 PM   #10
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How would she 'hear of it'?
EXCELLENT point. Good catch, KD.

This shows me that he's already griping about the OP to the friend.

Toxic triangulation---that's creating a dynamic where the OP becomes "the odd man out".

OP---this needs to get shut down ASAP, before any more damage is done to your relationship with your bf.
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Old 12th November 2012, 6:03 PM   #11
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I agree with this being a red flag.
I'm not presuming your bf would cheat on you--HOWEVER...

He's demonstrating very poor boundaries.HIS need to play Rescuer to the Damsel In Distress IS a red flag.........And those types of poor boundaries are what can lead to infidelity, both emotional ,and/or physical.

If you spent some time reading the infidelity section here--you'd start to see that there's a huge amount of affairs that begin with the husband/partner playing the Rescuer, and helping out a female "friend" with her relationship issues. He's getting an ego boost from playing that role, as she plays the victim, and you're getting painted as "the bad guy" if you complain.This type of triangulation WILL start to drive a wedge between you & your boyfriend. From what you posted---that's already starting to happen.
He's putting her emotional needs ahead of yours---and YOU'RE getting short-changed.That needs to STOP, five minutes ago.


Please look closely at the parts of your post that I bolded---and think about why you're allowing a friend to speak to you that way, when you've been supporting her. You're demonstrating weak boundaries, too.I don't mean that as a put-down, I'm trying to shine a light on what's happening.

She's insulting you,and attempting to manipulate you through guilt-tripping.
Calling you "a bad friend" and "inconsiderate" is WAY out of line.

Instead of being grateful for the all the support you've provided so far--
She's calling you names, when you try to live your own life.

And contacting your bf, when she hardly knew him, to get her emotional needs met, was an enormous boundary breach, and incredibly disrespectful to you.


Any female friend who starts getting chummy with your bf, without your blessing, and expects him to "be there for her"---is not concerned with YOUR best interests. And if she's bad-mouthing you to him---she is NOT your friend. A true friend doesn't complain about you behind your back, to the most important person in your life.

She's taken advantage of your kindness, and compassion.And repaid you with disrespect.

Doesn't she have any other friends to turn to? (red flag)
If she doesn't--it could very well be that she's repeated this scenario before, and burnt out her other friends.

It's one thing to provide emotional support to a friend in a genuine crisis--it's a whole 'nuther thing to be treated like a free therapist on call.

Here's my prediction--

You're going to realize that she's being a lousy friend to you.
You'll distance yourself even more--if you don't kick her to the curb altogether.

She will go running to your boyfriend, crying--painting you as "mean" and "unreasonable" and "selfish". She'll either expect him "to talk some sense into you" on her behalf, OR she'll decide that she & him have this 'special' friendship that doesn't need to end, just because you & her fell out.And she'll continue to expect him to be her rescuer, and make demands of his time, attention, and energy---which will interfere with your quality time with your boyfriend.

Think about how YOU will feel--if he maintains a friendship with her, after you cut her loose.

And if you & he ever hit a rough patch--she won't be in your corner.Count on that. Think about how you'll feel, if she offers to support him, when he's having issues with you? Consider the implications of that kind of dynamic happening.............

If she was a true friend to you--she would never even dream of doing anything to damage your relationship with your bf. No if's and's, or but's.

I'd like to recommend that you show your bf what I've written--perhaps it will be an eye-opener.
It's commendable that he's compassionate enough to want to provide support to someone, but it should never be at the expense of the primary relationship. A lot of good guys fall into that trap, and don't realize how much it can damage their main relationship.

You both need to present a united front, and tell her to find a good therapist, to help her to deal with her emotional needs. If she balks--and responds by trying to manipulate, and guilt-trip you further, that will demonstrate that she's only concerned with her own needs.Then both of you cut her loose.......... or, it will only get worse.




**I'd also like to recommend that you do a search on "Karpman's Drama Triangle"---because it's happening in your life, right now. (and you're being cast as the Persecutor)
Karpman's Drama Triangle, jesus. I just googled. Opened my eyes big time. I can't believe there's even a NAME to it.

Now that you point this out, I can say that this HAS been a reoccurring thing with her... it has happened twice before. First time was about 2-3 years ago. I wasn't dating the guy, but I liked him a lot. She made it her business to try to befriend him, wanting to get "involved" more in my life. I was uncomfortable with this, and this led to her and him becoming friends. I ended up becoming distant with him because of her, she and I stopped being friends while he was still her friend, and she'd complain to him about how bad of a friend I'd been.

He and I only lasted one more month as "friends" because eventually the pressure with her and I caused huge issues with him and I, and when he and I fell out, she and him became best friends and I was left out super hurt.

Took me a year to get over it and stop caring. I got with my then-boyfriend in between and "got over" the whole dilenma. Somewhere in there she and I resumed our friendship (she was at that point over her heartbreak), and although we talked about what happened once or twice, she never once kind of acknowledged what "happened" or that she'd done anything wrong. We've otherwise have had a normal friendship. Except when it comes to confrontations and arguements, which I've just learned to deal with by not getting into them with her, or just kind of "putting my foot down" where she tries to overstep me. I did label her as "self-righteous" for a lil while.

I don't want to make her sound like completely terrible, she WAS super there for me when my last ex broke my heart last year (he was abusive), and she offered good advice. I just don't understand how can she still support me during my heartbreak, but somehow turn around and do this and think she's doing nothing wrong (and yes, she has used the "I WAS THERE FOR YOU" line to make me feel bad). Especially when she constantly PREACHES about right and wrong, respect, this and that, etc. Now she's seriously ****ing up my relationship with my boyfriend, and I lack understanding how she's OBVIOUSLY at fault for doing this, and thinks she's doing nothing wrong??

I will admit when the thing with my current bf started to happen, I freaked out, because I felt like I was reliving the situation. She never LISTENS. I start to feel like crap, and she uses my distance from her as me being "bad", and as you said, yep, goes straight for my bf.

I'm sad to say that I'm also not 100% "strong" as I wish I was. I'm still a bit guilt prone. I know why you're logically saying to ditch her, but even the thought of abandoning someone when they probably REALLY need help is completely heartbreaking to me.

I just want to get my head together, and figure myself out of this mess... I'm starting to have anxiety attacks over it. I don't know what I'd do if my boyfriend abandoned me. It was bad enough last time with just the guy friend, I can't imagine what it would be like with a boyfriend I adore to death. It would KILL me.

How do I deal with all this the proper way, while making sure my guilt and all those other ugly emotions I'm prone to be knocked back by getting in the way?

We have a lot of mutual friends, and last time with the guy, I remember having to get a completely new set of friends because she managed to make them all think I was the terrible person in the picture... it literally led to me having to keep my new friends away from her, not wanting for them to "hear" from her how terrible of a friend I'd been to her. When we eventually discussed this when we made up the year later, she told me all she had felt towards me was hurt and she'd never "purposely" try to backlash me and all she'd done was love me the whole time and was just hurt at me.

I'm afraid I won't be strong enough to deal with it again if this happens again.

Please keep in mind this all happened awhile back... I never thought, until I read your post, I'd ever find myself in the SAME SITUATION... I literally thought when I got "over it" the first time around, that it'd never happen again to me. Or that I "grew up" from it.

Last edited by Merenishen; 12th November 2012 at 6:08 PM..
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Old 12th November 2012, 6:18 PM   #12
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Let me also add, when she did start getting all chummy with my bf, I was uncomfortable, period. But she was doing "nothing wrong", all she was doing was trying to be friendly with her best friend's boyfriend. I was uncomfortable, but I was frustrated because there was nothing I could pinpoint as to why I was uncomfortable - I just was. Anything I could/would say would come out as me being oversensitive and/or worrying over nothing. After all, what was wrong with her being friendly with my boyfriend?

Even though the thought of me trying to get all close to her bf would bother her, and it's never crossed my mind to do that. But I couldn't explain this in terms, or WHY I would never do that.

I'm just trying my best to kind of get back in control of the situation, and make sure this doesn't **** up my boyfriend and I... It's "logical" that we leave her, but if we leave her without doing it because we WANT to and UNDERSTAND we have to, as opposed to just doing it cold turkey, I just know things aren't going to end up well. Does that make any sense?

What the hell is her problem, anyway? Don't understand how she can be like this. One minute the best friend and most supportive person in the world, yet when the roles reverse, she's like this? I'm sure if when she was being supportive towards me, if I ever tried to do the same she's doing now (ie: constantly asking for support or try to go to one of her "inner circles"), she'd think the same I'm thinking right now - that I was crossing the line and abusing her kindness. How does she not SEE this double standard?

Last edited by Merenishen; 12th November 2012 at 6:21 PM..
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Old 12th November 2012, 8:44 PM   #13
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Karpman's Drama Triangle, jesus. I just googled. Opened my eyes big time. I can't believe there's even a NAME to it.

Now that you point this out, I can say that this HAS been a reoccurring thing with her... it has happened twice before. First time was about 2-3 years ago. I wasn't dating the guy, but I liked him a lot. She made it her business to try to befriend him, wanting to get "involved" more in my life. I was uncomfortable with this, and this led to her and him becoming friends. I ended up becoming distant with him because of her, she and I stopped being friends while he was still her friend, and she'd complain to him about how bad of a friend I'd been.

He and I only lasted one more month as "friends" because eventually the pressure with her and I caused huge issues with him and I, and when he and I fell out, she and him became best friends and I was left out super hurt.

Took me a year to get over it and stop caring. I got with my then-boyfriend in between and "got over" the whole dilenma. Somewhere in there she and I resumed our friendship (she was at that point over her heartbreak), and although we talked about what happened once or twice, she never once kind of acknowledged what "happened" or that she'd done anything wrong. We've otherwise have had a normal friendship. Except when it comes to confrontations and arguements, which I've just learned to deal with by not getting into them with her, or just kind of "putting my foot down" where she tries to overstep me. I did label her as "self-righteous" for a lil while.

I don't want to make her sound like completely terrible, she WAS super there for me when my last ex broke my heart last year (he was abusive), and she offered good advice. I just don't understand how can she still support me during my heartbreak, but somehow turn around and do this and think she's doing nothing wrong (and yes, she has used the "I WAS THERE FOR YOU" line to make me feel bad). Especially when she constantly PREACHES about right and wrong, respect, this and that, etc. Now she's seriously ****ing up my relationship with my boyfriend, and I lack understanding how she's OBVIOUSLY at fault for doing this, and thinks she's doing nothing wrong??

I will admit when the thing with my current bf started to happen, I freaked out, because I felt like I was reliving the situation. She never LISTENS. I start to feel like crap, and she uses my distance from her as me being "bad", and as you said, yep, goes straight for my bf.

I'm sad to say that I'm also not 100% "strong" as I wish I was. I'm still a bit guilt prone. I know why you're logically saying to ditch her, but even the thought of abandoning someone when they probably REALLY need help is completely heartbreaking to me.

I just want to get my head together, and figure myself out of this mess... I'm starting to have anxiety attacks over it. I don't know what I'd do if my boyfriend abandoned me. It was bad enough last time with just the guy friend, I can't imagine what it would be like with a boyfriend I adore to death. It would KILL me.

How do I deal with all this the proper way, while making sure my guilt and all those other ugly emotions I'm prone to be knocked back by getting in the way?

We have a lot of mutual friends, and last time with the guy, I remember having to get a completely new set of friends because she managed to make them all think I was the terrible person in the picture... it literally led to me having to keep my new friends away from her, not wanting for them to "hear" from her how terrible of a friend I'd been to her. When we eventually discussed this when we made up the year later, she told me all she had felt towards me was hurt and she'd never "purposely" try to backlash me and all she'd done was love me the whole time and was just hurt at me.

I'm afraid I won't be strong enough to deal with it again if this happens again.

Please keep in mind this all happened awhile back... I never thought, until I read your post, I'd ever find myself in the SAME SITUATION... I literally thought when I got "over it" the first time around, that it'd never happen again to me. Or that I "grew up" from it.

Again--focus on what I bolded.
Those are NOT the actions of a friend.

She essentially poached a previous bf. She created a Toxic Triangle.
When you got upset about it, she painted you as "the villain"-
basically annihilating you socially.

If you're wondering WHY some women do this--it's a deep-seated psychological issue.

Maybe she didn't get enough attention from her father, or she had to compete with a sister for her father's attention. So she re-creates that
scenario over, and over again, hoping to "win".

Unfortunately-she will destroy all of her female friendships in the process.

But that's HER problem. And only she can deal with that, but facing herself, and owning her own actions, & attitudes. For her to lash out, & defame & disparage you, when you call her out on her hurtful behaviors towards is abusive.

YOUR problem---is that it isn't safe to introduce her to any man you get involved with. Because she has no true respect, or concern for normal boundaries. If she had an ounce of genuine goodwill towards you--she would know that your bf is off-limits---and she wouldn't put you through the angst of her interloping.

There's more I'd like to share about this, but my time is limited tonight.
I've been through something similar, but I don't have time to tell the story right now.

Seriously--copy & paste the posts from this thread, and show them to your bf. (you might not want to let him know about LS--you need a safe place to discuss personal things) It may help him to understand what's going on , on a deeper level. He might not be so quick to buy into her playing the victim, if he thinks it all the way through.
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Old 12th November 2012, 10:24 PM   #14
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Again--focus on what I bolded.
Those are NOT the actions of a friend.

She essentially poached a previous bf. She created a Toxic Triangle.
When you got upset about it, she painted you as "the villain"-
basically annihilating you socially.

If you're wondering WHY some women do this--it's a deep-seated psychological issue.

Maybe she didn't get enough attention from her father, or she had to compete with a sister for her father's attention. So she re-creates that
scenario over, and over again, hoping to "win".

Unfortunately-she will destroy all of her female friendships in the process.

But that's HER problem. And only she can deal with that, but facing herself, and owning her own actions, & attitudes. For her to lash out, & defame & disparage you, when you call her out on her hurtful behaviors towards is abusive.

YOUR problem---is that it isn't safe to introduce her to any man you get involved with. Because she has no true respect, or concern for normal boundaries. If she had an ounce of genuine goodwill towards you--she would know that your bf is off-limits---and she wouldn't put you through the angst of her interloping.

There's more I'd like to share about this, but my time is limited tonight.
I've been through something similar, but I don't have time to tell the story right now.

Seriously--copy & paste the posts from this thread, and show them to your bf. (you might not want to let him know about LS--you need a safe place to discuss personal things) It may help him to understand what's going on , on a deeper level. He might not be so quick to buy into her playing the victim, if he thinks it all the way through.

True, although I suspect he's getting something out of the dynamic.
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Old 12th November 2012, 10:49 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KraftDinner View Post
True, although I suspect he's getting something out of the dynamic.

So do I --and it should be addressed.
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