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Best friend has a boyfriend now, puts him above all else.


Friendship Having issues with a friend? Get it off your chest!

Old 30th October 2012, 7:40 PM   #1
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Best friend has a boyfriend now, puts him above all else.

My friend and I have been best friends since about December. I've never had this type of friendship before. We've never argued, and she has helped me through the hardest time in my life. In August, she moved in to the apartment below me, and we go to the same university now. Her dating life has been rough, but since she started dating this guy in late August, things have changed drastically.
Our hometown is 45 minutes away from here, and she stays with her boyfriend there just about every night. I went from seeing her everyday to maybe 2 times a week; when I do see her, she's always leaving to see her boyfriend. She always remarks that she needs to give him space, but whenever he tells her to come over, she comes running. A few weeks ago, her, her roommate, and I were talking about getting a house. As soon as her boyfriend mentioned something about living together, she said her parents would hate the idea, but "she'd see what happens." I know that means she'll be living with him. Note: they've been dating for TWO MONTHS. Also, she's in the middle of a miscarriage because her birth control failed, and she had an ectopic pregnancy. I'm also upset because she, her roommate, and I all bought sailor costumes for Halloween. We planned this a month in advance, and I see on Facebook yesterday that she bought a new costume to wear with her boyfriend without saying anything to us. When we go out, he always gets mad at her, and he gets jealous so easily.

He is a good guy, and I like him, and I am so happy for her. I told her this. Last night, I texted her and said, "I was talking to your roommate tonight, and we really miss having you here." She said, "I know, I feel bad. But I should come see y'all today because _____ and I have been awkward about the miscarriage." I said, "Okay." She said, "I hate feeling like y'all are mad at me." I said, "I'm not mad, I just miss you. I wish my best friend was here. I'm so happy for you, but I only see you maybe 2 times a week, and you're always either coming or going." She read the message and ignored it.
Her excuse for not coming up here to go to classes is her being sick, but I see her posting pictures of going to see her boyfriend everyday. She's got full hair, makeup, and a cute outfit.

I'm not trying to steal her or be greedy at all. Whenever she tells her boyfriend we're upset, he just says we can get over it...
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Old 31st October 2012, 12:16 PM   #2
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She's still your friend

Hi - she is still your friend, except now she is also someone's girlfriend.

There is a loss to sharing her with others and you have to recognize that loss. She isn't there when you need her, it is hard to plan things with her, the list goes on - it is a feeling of loss for you.

But the good news is that she still likes you as a friend - as long as you aren't too clingy.

Maybe she&theboyfriend are really serious about each other. Who knows.

If she loses interest in school - support her when she wants to return to school in the future.

Be the steady friend - and she will love you.
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Old 31st October 2012, 12:29 PM   #3
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2 times a week? Wow you are lucky, I see my close friends about once among, maybe more, maybe less. Of course, I'm married and have a career.... but that's what happens when we grow up. Let your friend enjoy her new relationship, if she's a true friend she will always be there.
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