CautiousLoops Posted October 28, 2012 Share Posted October 28, 2012 Im wondering if I should let this toxic relationship go & move on with my life, or keep attempting to fix things. I had minor surgery on Friday. Minor but serious since it was regarding cancer & I've been going through things for months. My best friend whom Ive known since fourth grade (we are 30) did not contact me on the day or all weekend. I had to tell her a few days before that I was having surgery since she was not bothering to return my calls. She has always been very self absorbed. One of those people who wants you to be there for her every problem she has, but knows little to nothing about MY life, because shes either too busy to talk to me or doesnt ask. I am a good friend to her, helping her through everything over the years, being as supportive as I can. Treat others as you would want to be treated. This was the one time I needed her to be there for me. I saw on FB she was out and about at the bars, partying it up. I didn't get a text, phone call or even a FB "how are you doing?". So today I texted her, told her I was hurt I didn't hear from her and that the surgery went fine. She texted me about an hour later saying she texted me yesterday & that she just didn't want to bug me on Friday. Funny, I got everyone's texts but not any from her. I became very frustrated, asking why, after she didn't hear from me, she didn't continue to try to get ahold of me? & why wait until Saturday when she knew the surgery was Friday morning? & she didnt want to bug me? Thats ridiculous considering we've been friends this long, she is the one person who should be getting ahold of me! I explained to her that this was a big deal, and that I needed her to be supportive and take some time out & I shouldnt have to track her down to tell her how things went, 2 days after it happened! I sent her those texts 4 hours ago. She never responded and I have not heard anything from her. Now obviously I am very upset. I cannot believe she wont even talk to me about it or try to redeem herself at all. It pains me that Ive known her this long, but at the same time she has been like this for so long, why have a friendship like this? Why do I keep having to be there for her when she is never there for me? & now she wont even talk to me? COME ON!! Thoughts? I dont want to be too harsh but I feel like this is BS that a real friend would not put me through. Link to post Share on other sites
sweetkiwi Posted October 28, 2012 Share Posted October 28, 2012 your bestie sounds like my bestie. Some people just suck. I cried. I begged her to tell me why she stopped caring. We'd been friends our entire lives! Our mothers were pregnant with us when they became friends! Eventually i stopped calling. She never answered anyway. And then i'd see her out with all kinds of stupid people being a drunk mess. Let her. I had to let my bestie pretend to be someone she wasn't. And when she returns to reality i'll be there for her. But for now i'm not waiting by the phone or staying up worrying. Not sure if this help but its helped me. Get friends you are more available to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CautiousLoops Posted October 28, 2012 Author Share Posted October 28, 2012 thank you for the response. Its just so mind boggling to me. Like, this is how it ends? This is why we are going to stop talking? WHen you know someone for 20 years its just so unbelievable that someone you think you really know can act this way. Its very sad. Link to post Share on other sites
sweetkiwi Posted October 28, 2012 Share Posted October 28, 2012 it is sad.........for her. Don't let it be too sad for you. You seem to be the only one putting in the work. I know how that feels. Its exhausting and frustrating. Makes me want to shake a bitch. Its weird breaking up with a friend, but sometimes you just have to cut your losses, go no contact, and take yourself to dinner and the movies. Its really terrible she did this in your time of need. But thats exactly when losers pull up stake. She's showing you her priorities. I had a breast cancer scare and my bestie disappeared too. Looks like women everywhere are becoming emotionally retarted. Get better!!! Hang on to those who want to be your friend. Its so much more pleasant. Link to post Share on other sites
The_Face Posted October 29, 2012 Share Posted October 29, 2012 Sounds like you've known this person wasn't a great friend for a while now. Still, that's pretty bad if you're going through something like that and your friend can't even pull through for you then. And now she's mad you? For telling her something she didn't want to hear, basically. Be done with her. Don't make a show of it, just stop talking to her. Sounds like a draining relationship to be in. The fact it's lasted this long shouldn't confuse you into thinking it's a meaningful relationship. Because it isn't. Spend more time with your real friends. Quality over quantity, that's my thing. Take it easy OP Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts