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Fear of being screwed over again


Sugarkane

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When I got cruelly dumped by text after a year, my ex also turned everyone against me. I never got to say anything. Even though I needed help not one person cared at all. I'm sure my ex cheated, 99% sure. I have found it really difficult to make more friends. How do you get over this? I was actually brought up to have morals and values. Yet no one seems to have any if these anymore.

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I find it difficult to meet friends too. Honestly, I've joined some online dating sites, and that's helping me to be more social. If your ex turned your "friends" against you, then I don't think you would want them as friends anyway.

 

My view is that if you want to meet like-minded people, you need to seek them out. If you like to hike, join a hiking meet-up group, if you are a churchgoer, meet people through your church, etc... For me, I know I'll meet people at school when I return next session. You have to put yourself into the opportunistic situation and keep getting out there, and especially never give up. Leave the baggage behind and start fresh.

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Thanks I have no trouble making small talk with people, but Its how to get to be their friend is the problem. There's also more young people at my work, problem is if you're caught talking you get into trouble.

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Thanks I have no trouble making small talk with people, but Its how to get to be their friend is the problem. There's also more young people at my work, problem is if you're caught talking you get into trouble.

 

Well, I'm a talker, so I have no problem trying to connect with people, but I guess a lot people already have established friendships. Maybe they don't have the time, or simply don't want new friends. I find that with a lot people my age, especially the ones who have kids, they don't have time.

 

If you can't talk at work, maybe on breaks you can try to have a conversation, then maybe suggest getting together outside of work?

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I've tried but nothing happened and when the time arrived my co worker was no longer there. Then she eventually came back but the event we wanted to go to was finished.

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todreaminblue
When I got cruelly dumped by text after a year, my ex also turned everyone against me. I never got to say anything. Even though I needed help not one person cared at all. I'm sure my ex cheated, 99% sure. I have found it really difficult to make more friends. How do you get over this? I was actually brought up to have morals and values. Yet no one seems to have any if these anymore.

 

 

I feel for you I had to do the start over thing many times.....lost friends moved house.......to stay with someone who is now an ex because he had an affair......I cant give you a quick fix...there is none...you are going to feel like crap....that's honesty...but there will be a day you wake up adn think ok i am going to have good and bad days....there are good and bad people and no matter what i come across i have learnt from my past i will take that into my future relationships and judgements on prospective partners....dont let your standards or morals go there are good guys out there........you might not find them in one year two years or even three.....the fact is one could cross your path tomorrow....... keep your values....they make you who you are and that you deserve a good guy.....i am pep talking myself as well here....;0).........in my life i have dated some toads....had a few good guys in there too.......and I have met some awesome men in my life....i can actually tell a good guy....its telling myself that i am worth being with a good guy that is my bane........here is a song for you ill listen to it too.....;)...hugs to ya.....deb

 

 

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Thanks but I find it harder to make new friends than boyfriends. People are so cliquey and find that many don't want to find room for one more.

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With good friendship, need to keep things opened, Friends are there to support, guide and motivate.

 

I think if you realize that u made some mistake, then go straight and say SORRY.

 

Make sure it wont be repeat

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With good friendship, need to keep things opened, Friends are there to support, guide and motivate.

 

I think if you realize that u made some mistake, then go straight and say SORRY.

 

Make sure it wont be repeat

 

I havent made any mistake. My ex friends betrayed me, not the other way around. I really don't want to contact people who turned their backs on me when I needed support the most.

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