alice595 Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 i have had a friendship like this once before, me and that person no longer speak. basically, i am a student and work ridiculous hours in rubbish jobs alongside my studies just so i can afford to pay my bills. i am really careful with money because i have to be. anyway i have this friend who is in full time employment. when we are out she asks me to buy her drinks and general things like that. however the most recent time has really annoyed me. she called me up at the weekend asking if i wanted to go out for the day. so i said yes. we're halfway there (im driving) and she turns to me and says she has no money, would i mind paying today. i was kind of pissed off but she was like oh ill pay you back monday blah blah. in the interest of not creating a really awkward situation i just bit my tongue and said fine. so i ended up funding this day out, meal, drinks etc. its tuesday, and suprise suprise ive not heard a peep outta her. she told me a few weeks ago she has 10k inheritance in a savings account she doesnt want to touch....i have about $200 in my account to last me til the middle of october, thats all the money i have to my name. i have bills she doesnt have because she still lives with her parents. i guess im just angry that she made plans knowing full well she couldnt afford to do them and just expected me to say yes to lending money. im not tight but i LOATHE lending money to friends. people always seem to lean on me for these kind of 'favors' but i never do it to them. and they never, ever rush to pay me back, if they ever do. i suppose im just ranting really lol. im just so fed up of being this person put in this position by other people. its like im the only one with a conscience sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
veryhappy Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 Say "no". Louder. They are taking advantage of you. Say no and you'll lose a few fake friends in the process that you don't need anyway. Best yet, the ones who haven't paid you back, ask them to help you with your bills. I bet they'll be unhappy with your request. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
freestyle Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 It's time to shore up your boundaries, OP. True friends don't take advantage. Perhaps it's time to start "weeding your garden.....". 1 Link to post Share on other sites
B00ska Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 Oh my, that sounds like an intentional set up. What a kind person you are to follow through with your word regardless of what the other person's behavior was. Personally, I can't imagine being the person who asked you to hang out for the day and then turn around and mention being broke. It takes all kinds, I suppose. I agree with the others that it would better suit you to say no and turn the car right back around. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author alice595 Posted September 26, 2012 Author Share Posted September 26, 2012 Say "no". Louder. They are taking advantage of you. Say no and you'll lose a few fake friends in the process that you don't need anyway. Best yet, the ones who haven't paid you back, ask them to help you with your bills. I bet they'll be unhappy with your request. thanks for the answer, completely agree with you. and i have had instances when ive said i cant afford to do something with them and no one ever offers to help me out if i pay them back (id never ask, too proud) It's time to shore up your boundaries, OP. True friends don't take advantage. Perhaps it's time to start "weeding your garden.....". thank you for answering. after quite a bit of reflection i have decided to silently weed my garden lol. Oh my, that sounds like an intentional set up. What a kind person you are to follow through with your word regardless of what the other person's behavior was. Personally, I can't imagine being the person who asked you to hang out for the day and then turn around and mention being broke. It takes all kinds, I suppose. I agree with the others that it would better suit you to say no and turn the car right back around. thanks for answering. youre completely right, it was intentional. and i cant imagine having that 'entitled to' attitude she appears to have. i do wish i was more confrontational sometimes so i wasnt backed into these situations. anyway after a bit of reflection ive decided im just not going to associate with her anymore. things like this tend to drag me down. sometimes its worth the money just to see what some people are really like. oh and look at that, its wednesday and ive STILL not heard from her. she can keep the money, its the last thing shes getting out of me. again, thanks everyone for taking the time to answer and sorry for ranting a bit! x Link to post Share on other sites
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