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Is it a female crush???


Bluebelle121

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I am female and have been close friends with another female for a couple of years. I have recently had 3 other friends of mine comment that they think my friend has stronger feelings for me than just friendship even though she is in a relationship with a man. She tends to get jealous when I hang out with other friends (she will go quiet for a bit then start messaging again), whenever we are in a group of people she makes sure she sits or stands next to me so she has all of my attention, she messages me regularly saying "I miss you, I love you" or starts off with "xoxoxox" and when she hugs me it's very intense... at times she says, "don't let go". She even said to a friend recently that she needs my help to get her libido back!!!

 

Quite a few people have thought she is gay until they find out she has a boyfriend. I am definitely hetro and have told her that in the past. I have some very close female friends, but none as intense as her.

 

So... what do you think? Is it more than a friendship on her part?

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ambivalentwish
I am female and have been close friends with another female for a couple of years. I have recently had 3 other friends of mine comment that they think my friend has stronger feelings for me than just friendship even though she is in a relationship with a man. She tends to get jealous when I hang out with other friends (she will go quiet for a bit then start messaging again), whenever we are in a group of people she makes sure she sits or stands next to me so she has all of my attention, she messages me regularly saying "I miss you, I love you" or starts off with "xoxoxox" and when she hugs me it's very intense... at times she says, "don't let go". She even said to a friend recently that she needs my help to get her libido back!!!

 

Quite a few people have thought she is gay until they find out she has a boyfriend. I am definitely hetro and have told her that in the past. I have some very close female friends, but none as intense as her.

 

So... what do you think? Is it more than a friendship on her part?

 

The first thing I have to say is NEVER ASSUME.

There is definitely other possible explanations for the way she's acting. Although some may argue that this is confrontational, in my opinion, if it further continues to be uncomfortable to you one of the best things you could do is take her aside and talk to her. Don't note "what others have said about her" she may not respond well to the idea that others are talking about her behind her back. Make sure she understands you're not accusing her of anything. Perhaps you could start off with, "It makes me uncomfortable that you....and so on." Approaching her starting off with, "You did _____, You did ______ which made me very uncomfortable may put her right off the bat as defensive.

 

It's also good that you asserted your "sexual orientation" but it doesn't hurt to remind her again just in case it does turns out she's romantically interested in you. AGAIN do not assume anything before you know for sure (i.e. her telling you specifically.) Good luck :)

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