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It's official. I have no friends.


ShyOne82

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Maybe I am exaggerating a little bit..but I never thought that at 26, almost 27, I would feel this lonely. I remember when I was living in NJ I always had family nearby, friends to hang out with.. friends that actually called me and we talked for hours. Ever since I moved down south in 2007 my life has really slowed down. My cousins I was close with doesn't even call. We keep in touch on facebook.. that's sad. My best friend is slowly becoming "a friend" as she's starting her life, buying a house with her boyfriend.. so we rarely get to see each other. (She's actually down south like I am) All my friends and fam are in NJ. I never had the chance to really start over. I tried making male friends and that ended up not working out as much as I fought for it. Girlfriends and baby mothers always win.

 

When I left NJ I expected to make really good friends. I guess nowadays people are content with who they already have and refuse to let anyone else in. I'm so used to meeting people and becoming very close with them. Maybe I have some maturing to do. Maybe as we get older things slow down and people focus more on themselves. I'm not a big fan of aquaintances or hang out buddies.. I at least want to feel like I am worth more than that. My life doesn't revolve around friends..but you do need people in life. It's crazy how people I come across in FL assume I have all these friends and guys lined up.. if they only knew how depressed I was. Most of your memories are with your friends and family and I have very little to reminisce about. Sometimes I wonder why am I here? Why did I move in the first place? I want to go back to NJ but the bitter side of me says hell no.. everyone forgot about you so why go back? I'd have to start from scratch.

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Sometimes I wonder why am I here? Why did I move in the first place? I want to go back to NJ but the bitter side of me says hell no.. everyone forgot about you so why go back? I'd have to start from scratch.

 

There's nothing wrong with shaking things up every now and again.

 

I've found that as we get older, insta-friendships are few and far between and it's easy to lose touch, even when using social media.

 

Have you tried getting out more? Meetups? Volunteering? Adult evening/weekend classes? Local events?

 

After five years, if you think you've really given it your best shot, perhaps you can move back to NJ, or consider another location. Maybe a big city where there's lots going on.

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it`s a growing up thing. people are more cautious because human nature proves to be a sad nature. family becomes the main focus or relationships that equal social mobility. if you dont have status to offer people dont bother. real friends are far and few.

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ShyOne,

 

I know exactly how you feel. I moved from my country to the States 8 years ago and being extremely extroverted, I assumed I'd make friends quickly.

 

However, I did not. I found people to hang out with but no real friends I became very close to. A few years later I moved to another city in the US and started over again. I've made maybe 2 friends in the entire time I've been here that I consider "close". A few more I hang out with, but that's about it.

 

I think this is just the nature of the beast. As people grow older they take a long time to form more meaningful friendships because they don't have as much time to dedicate to friends as they did when they were younger. So, its a slower process.

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Have you tried getting out more? Meetups? Volunteering? Adult evening/weekend classes? Local events?

 

Not recently. I actually just got back from GA 2 weeks ago. I attended a school out there, but I am going to continue my education here. Even in GA I didnt make many friends in class. I was too serious about my studies and wasnt interested in any conversation.. I really do need to get out more its ashame. Its funny, back in NJ my mother always got on me about have my bag on my shoulder and leaving the house. I was ALWAYS on the go.. never wanted to stay indoors. When I get settled I should really consider getting out more even if it's by myself.

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ShyOne,

 

I know exactly how you feel. I moved from my country to the States 8 years ago and being extremely extroverted, I assumed I'd make friends quickly.

 

However, I did not. I found people to hang out with but no real friends I became very close to. A few years later I moved to another city in the US and started over again. I've made maybe 2 friends in the entire time I've been here that I consider "close". A few more I hang out with, but that's about it.

 

I think this is just the nature of the beast. As people grow older they take a long time to form more meaningful friendships because they don't have as much time to dedicate to friends as they did when they were younger. So, its a slower process.

 

You are absolutely right. Not just that but also culture differences. I have nothing in common most of these people in the area. I truly need to start hangin out in orlando or tampa once in awhile.. where its diverse. Like you were saying it is a slower process and I'm starting to realize this now. ugh.. what a life.

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I'm in the same boat as you OP. Last year my pretty close female friend just kinda dumped me after my relationship broke down with my ex. I'm just getting to grips with trying to make new friends as I finally got a job in the city I live in and hopefully will have more time to get out and about. I'm 28 and finding it very difficult being away from my home where all my family, high school and university friends live.

 

Groups (hobbies, politics, exercise, etc) are a good way to meet like minded people. I'm off to a meeting group this Thursday after deciding it's something I am passionate about, and I'd really like to have new friends!

 

I tried a socialising site but my bf and a major newspaper pointed out it was full of singles so that's out!

 

I guess it's just time and patience, and getting out there to make friendships happen.

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I'm in the same boat as you OP. Last year my pretty close female friend just kinda dumped me after my relationship broke down with my ex. I'm just getting to grips with trying to make new friends as I finally got a job in the city I live in and hopefully will have more time to get out and about. I'm 28 and finding it very difficult being away from my home where all my family, high school and university friends live.

 

Groups (hobbies, politics, exercise, etc) are a good way to meet like minded people. I'm off to a meeting group this Thursday after deciding it's something I am passionate about, and I'd really like to have new friends!

 

I tried a socialising site but my bf and a major newspaper pointed out it was full of singles so that's out!

 

I guess it's just time and patience, and getting out there to make friendships happen.

 

Why the hell did she cut u off cuz of ur ex tho.. the heck does that have to do with her? Im nosey.

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