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Help w/ "so called friends"


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Lately i've noticed that none of my "so called friends" have been inviting me anywhere or asking what i'm doing on weekends. About a year ago, i would talk with them and we would ask each other what we were doing, and make plans etc. Now, ever since my best friend got a girlfriend, i can't hang out with him nearly as much. Now in order to actually do something on a friday or saturday night, i'm finding that if i have to ASK "my friends" in order for them to even invite me anywhere, or make plans. Even when i do ask (one of my friends about once a week) i usually get a "not sure" response, or "i'm going snowboarding, then i'm not sure what i'm gonna do". (i don't snowboard so it's not like they are ditching me in front of my face). Almost never do they ask me what i'm doing, or if I wan't to do anything. It's getting to the point where i have to ask.....inquire....suggest....almost pry my way in to even find out what is going on. No one lets me know what they are doing anymore. I'm starting to get pretty lonely, although i've come to the conclusion that this is the way that it has become and i've accepted that.

 

i COULD go out with them on the weekends or whatever.....but when i have to ask what they are doing, and if they say they're "not sure"...they never offer to lemme know if they find something, or ask what i'm doing. I did go out now and then....but when its just one sided effort on my part i'm not going to go down that road. I'm starting to notice that my friends aren't even my friends, and i'm done with them. This except for my best friend, who actually DOES ask care what im doing, and we hang out now and then when hes not with his gf.

 

I guess i'm not really asking for any help here, just a confirmation that I am not taking this the wrong way. high school ends in only a few months, so i'll get a fresh start at college soon....that's my only hope at this point.

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Personally i'd just leave your friends to it and find better friends and as you say you can make a fresh start in college if i were u i'd pretend like you ain't bothered and then if your friends are true friends then they will invite you out.

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The nature of friendships is everchanging. As people's lives (jobs, school, hobbies, social activities, etc.) change, their availability changes. They meet other people interested in what they're doing at the time. They begin spending lots of time with a new love interest. They have children and no longer have much time for anything else. It's just the way life works. These people aren't trying to be mean or be a bad friend. Their lives are evolving and you have to get used to it.

 

Sure, sometimes it's heartbreaking when a special friend moves in another direction. That's why you have to live one day at a time and relish every moment with special people because each one may be your last...for whatever reason. This is a good lesson to learn. Celebrate those precious moments and don't pout when they're over. Everything ends sooner or later.

 

People tend to want to be around people who fulfill them and brighten their lives the most. Ask yourself if you are making the best friend to others you can be.

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Friendships change and end over time. I know of two or three people who seem to not want anything to do with me now that I changed for the better and changed how I dress. These were not my friends.

 

I'm selective of who I talk to and I keep mostly to myself lately anyway, but I do have friends who care that I see several times a month.

 

Don't bother asking these people to go do anything. If they're ignoring you then let them ignore you. You can find real friends again. Most likely they are no longer worth your time anyway. Maybe even take more of the alone time to improve upon yourself if you start to get down about being alone.

 

I find long walks and regular exercise help :)

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Blue, after high school I found a whole new crew of friends to hang out with. When I met these new friends, I realized that we clicked better than the friends I had in high school. I keep in contact with only one girl from school, and she's the one that introduced me to the gang.

 

Your best friend no doubt hangs out with his girl's friends, right? Well, see if he wouldn't mind if you hung out with them in a group-type event. See what friends you can make with new people, and get brownie points for making an effort to know his girl and her friends.

 

Above all, don't get too bummed out over this. People move on. You should do the same!

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that's good advise pookette, i actually do hang out with my friends gf's friends on occasion. I never really enjoyed their company all that much, outside of a couple of them (my friends gf is one of them). They are nice people, but we just never really clicked.

 

I also may have misworded what i said above in my first post. I said i always have to "ask" what they are doing. Like i don't have to invite myself over....they usuall ask if i wanna go if I sort of show interest....but other times they don't, and it seems like i always have to imply i want to go b4 ever being invited.

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  • 2 weeks later...
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alright i just couldn't hold it in any longer. the situation arised and i told this girl how things have been (or not been, depending on how you look at)....and she said she had no idea I felt like this....and she said I can call her cell phone anytime to find out what her friends are doing etc etc. I told her that I was wondering why no one called me/invited me anywhere....and she said that people are lazy....and they want their friends to call them...etc etc. She also said they were probably oblivious to the problem....and didnt know i felt this way. Is she just saying this to be nice (because she is a nice person) or does she really mean it when she says no one probably knows about this problem, and I can hang out with them anytime etc etc. ?

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