LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Platonic > Friendship

A Girl I "Friend-Zoned" is Flying to See Me This Weekend...


Friendship Having issues with a friend? Get it off your chest!

Like Tree18Likes
 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 24th July 2012, 2:22 AM   #1
Established Member
 
USMCHokie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Northern California
Posts: 15,280
A Girl I "Friend-Zoned" is Flying to See Me This Weekend...

So...a couple months ago I met a girl on a plane, and we got along great and chatted for the entire flight. We exchanged numbers and emails. Initially, she was very aggressive and constantly texted and emailed me. Due to the distance, I wasn't really interested in anything with her. After a couple weeks of light casual conversation, she brought up the question of us dating...I straight up told her I wasn't interested, was never interested at any point, and probably will never be interested...so we kept emailing here and there for the next month or so...she focused on hardcore online dating and I played the role of friend...

So now she's flying out to CA to hang out with me this weekend...and funny thing is, she's also meeting a dude she met from OLD who lives in CA...and part of me kinda wishes she'd just hang out with him the whole time so I don't have to drive out to LA or get a hotel...

I would offer that the friend-zone is not gender specific...but do any of you guys actually have women actively in your "friend-zone"...?
__________________
Ad hominem - attacks on a person rather than on the validity of evidence or an argument
Reductio Ad Absurdum - argument that an extreme of a position must be true as well
False Dilemma - giving two extremes as the only alternatives to a position
Confirmation Bias - considering only evidence favorable to one's own position
USMCHokie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24th July 2012, 2:24 AM   #2
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 26,423
There is no way she is flying to California to visit a guy she met on a plane and hasn't seen since that she thinks she's just friends with. No way.
Star Gazer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24th July 2012, 2:26 AM   #3
Established Member
 
USMCHokie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Northern California
Posts: 15,280
EDIT: And to the women, would you ever do something like this, that is, fly out for a weekend to hang out with a guy who doesn't want to date you...?
USMCHokie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24th July 2012, 2:28 AM   #4
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 26,423
Quote:
Originally Posted by USMCHokie View Post
EDIT: And to the women, would you ever do something like this, that is, fly out for a weekend to hang out with a guy who doesn't want to date you...?
Absolutely not. Never, ever, ever. The only way I'd ever do this is if he'd led me on to believe he was interested in dating.
Star Gazer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24th July 2012, 2:36 AM   #5
Established Member
 
Eternal Sunshine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 11,077
Quote:
Originally Posted by Star Gazer View Post
Absolutely not. Never, ever, ever. The only way I'd ever do this is if he'd led me on to believe he was interested in dating.
I pretty much have to agree with Star here
__________________
"I understand who you want me to be but, I am going to show you who I actually am"
Eternal Sunshine is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24th July 2012, 2:40 AM   #6
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,239
Quote:
Originally Posted by USMCHokie View Post
So now she's flying out to CA to hang out with me this weekend...and funny thing is, she's also meeting a dude she met from OLD who lives in CA...and part of me kinda wishes she'd just hang out with him the whole time so I don't have to drive out to LA or get a hotel...
Don't get used Hokie.
threebyfate is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24th July 2012, 2:41 AM   #7
Established Member
 
USMCHokie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Northern California
Posts: 15,280
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eternal Sunshine View Post
I pretty much have to agree with Star here
Yea, I would too. However, this is definitely not the case here. On multiple occasions, I have made it clear that I have no interest in dating her. Our conversations nowadays entail her telling me about all her failed dates, and occasionally I'll put on my LS hat and give her the scoop. And I'll usually mope to her about my own apathy and indifference to dating based from my insecurity. There are no sexually suggestive words exchanged and nothing remotely related to us dating each other.
USMCHokie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24th July 2012, 2:43 AM   #8
Established Member
 
USMCHokie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Northern California
Posts: 15,280
Quote:
Originally Posted by threebyfate View Post
Don't get used Hokie.
Well, she keeps telling me how her goal is to wingwoman for me so that I'll be properly occupied while she's on her date with random OLD guy...
USMCHokie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24th July 2012, 2:46 AM   #9
Established Member
 
Eternal Sunshine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 11,077
Quote:
Originally Posted by USMCHokie View Post
Yea, I would too. However, this is definitely not the case here. On multiple occasions, I have made it clear that I have no interest in dating her. Our conversations nowadays entail her telling me about all her failed dates, and occasionally I'll put on my LS hat and give her the scoop. And I'll usually mope to her about my own apathy and indifference to dating based from my insecurity. There are no sexually suggestive words exchanged and nothing remotely related to us dating each other.
In that case, she is either crazy or has a hidden agenda of her own (which is not wanting to date you).
Eternal Sunshine is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24th July 2012, 2:50 AM   #10
Established Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: North by Northeast
Posts: 8,975
Repeat after me ' thanks but no thanks'. I know you're insecure but is it really hard or you to say no?
__________________
"It's time to stop acting like a victim and start finding some".

- Bobsacramento
xpaperxcutx is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24th July 2012, 2:55 AM   #11
Established Member
 
USMCHokie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Northern California
Posts: 15,280
Quote:
Originally Posted by xpaperxcutx View Post
Repeat after me ' thanks but no thanks'. I know you're insecure but is it really hard or you to say no?
I don't know how insecurity factors into this...but was it necessarily wrong for me to tell her sure, let's hang out? If she lived down the street, would it have been different?
USMCHokie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24th July 2012, 2:58 AM   #12
Established Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: North by Northeast
Posts: 8,975
Quote:
Originally Posted by USMCHokie View Post
I don't know how insecurity factors into this...but was it necessarily wrong for me to tell her sure, let's hang out? If she lived down the street, would it have been different?
But the fact remains you don't live down the street. How does a hypothetical actually help you in this case?
you're actually having doubts aboit meeting this girl. Isn't that sufficient for you to take a raincheck?
xpaperxcutx is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24th July 2012, 3:02 AM   #13
Established Member
 
USMCHokie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Northern California
Posts: 15,280
Quote:
Originally Posted by xpaperxcutx View Post
But the fact remains you don't live down the street. How does a hypothetical actually help you in this case?
you're actually having doubts aboit meeting this girl. Isn't that sufficient for you to take a raincheck?
Oh, well, it's not that I have doubts...of course I'd like to go out for a change, but part of me also would rather just be lazy and let the other guy take her out.

But I just found it weird that someone would actually do this...is it possible to have truly platonic opposite gender friends?
USMCHokie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24th July 2012, 3:04 AM   #14
Established Member
 
Eternal Sunshine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 11,077
It's only truly possible if neither is 100% not interested in anything more.
Eternal Sunshine is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24th July 2012, 3:08 AM   #15
Established Member
 
Eternal Sunshine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 11,077
Basically, this is what you do in these situations:

Girl: Let's hang out this weekend!

You: OK, but just to be clear again, I see as only as friends. If you are down with that then let's do it.
Eternal Sunshine is offline   Reply With Quote
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Moved in, I'm a "pig," a "daddy's girl," "worthless," "should have never had me" LuLaLu Family 26 17th August 2010 12:35 AM
Bf's friend's view on "guy weekend" Lauriebell82 Dating 108 11th July 2008 9:29 PM
Flying across country to see a "Friend" Dadubwa Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy 31 2nd April 2007 11:59 PM
Strange voicemail from my friend's wife today.. she said: "it's about a girl" BigB General Relationship Discussion 5 23rd July 2005 12:47 AM
I love my "girl"friend, but "guy"friend in way Lost_Alias General Relationship Discussion 2 18th April 2004 9:45 PM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 2:50 PM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.