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do i demand too much?


Darkangelism

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Am I demanding too much? I got in a fight with my friend because she told me she was uncomfortable talking about me looking at girls, I got mad because I feel that no topic should be off limits with my friends, specially something stupid like that.

 

 

I shouldnt have to watch what I say with my friends. It is part of my loyalty issue where i say that they should be there for me no matter what and visa versa, and how can that happen if i cant say certain things, I could take a bullet for my best friends(i mean that both figurativly and literally)

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I don't think that talking with friends about that subject is wrong. And you're right, it's kind of stupid to fight about. Unless of course that girl likes you, and in that case she's jealous. Is that a possibility?

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Actually, from time to time you will find that you and a friend seriously disagree on a subject or else that there is a subject that they are very sensitive about and so you decide not to discuss it.

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Originally posted by Dejin

I don't think that talking with friends about that subject is wrong. And you're right, it's kind of stupid to fight about. Unless of course that girl likes you, and in that case she's jealous. Is that a possibility?

 

 

She has a bf.

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CaterpillarGirl

If she doesn't want to discuss your interest in girls, don't push it, unless that's the only thing the two of you have ever talked about. I have friends with whom I am comfortable sharing this with and others whom I'd rather talk sports with. A cadre of friends should be able to fulfill all your communication needs. Demanding that they listen to tales of infatuation is not communicating, it's like verbal harrassment.

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thatmusicdude

I kind of see what you mean. But I must agree with the fact she may be interested in you. Much like you I have a bestfriend who has a boyfriend yet she always seemed a lot closer to me then she was to him. She seemed to be so attracted to him yet seemed to spend more time with me. Also when she talks about her and her boyfriend she always mentions things that she must feel would drive me crazy. It's as though she is dating him to get to me. Well, that is just my thought on it. Maybe she does care more for you then just as friends.

 

Derrick

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I'm around guys all day. MOST of you DO spend a lot of time looking and commenting on any female which happens to be walking by. LOL!

 

I look at guys too...but I don't make comments like 'Man, I wish I could jump THAT!". :o

 

I'm sure YOUR statement wasn't as crude as my 'cleaned up' version......but some women do take offense at guys when they make sexual remarks about other women.

 

It can be one of those wierd quirks in a 'male-female' friendship. Apologise if you think you offended her or just let it go.

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i want to post to you on this because it is an issue close to my heart. i have some troubles with friendships with girls my own age, so the majority of my friendships are with men. it's been a weird, hard, lonely, process, but i think i finally understand the boundaries of these kind of friendships.

 

this is the thing: if you cannot withstand a man bemoaning his conqests or lack thereof, you are not his real friend. ditto in reverse.

 

this. girl. likes. you. or, she is simply too uptight to be a good friend. either way, you must cope with the fact that this freindship is officially outside of the platonic scope (look up greco-roman platonic friendships and love - you will see how removed from physical jealously they SHOULD be).

 

it's up to you if you want a sub-platonic-par friendship. i love love love my guy friends, and i know the best way to lose them is to wax petty or controlling over their romantic interests. this is a function of my respect for them.

 

its true you cannot talk to everyone about everything - but to a good disinterested 'heart' friend you should be able to talk about the primary romantic facts of life. lol - in nothing else, babe, i'm here for you if you ever want to bemoan girlfriends!

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The thing that bothers me is that I used to be able to say things like that to her, what I said was "I got horny when I looked at [person in our class] because of the short skirt she was wearing"

 

 

Now we have mutual friends who will say to her, "I want to stick my schlong in that girl's puss" so i dont get what makes what I said bad.

 

 

If she likes me, then that is bad, cause i am friend's with her bf and so I can't date her even if I was attarcted to herl

 

 

I am expecting a comment from Dyer saying that I do like her and just won't admit it,loll

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Originally posted by jenny

i - in nothing else, babe, i'm here for you if you ever want to bemoan girlfriends!

 

 

Thanks you are awesome(awhile back i made a thread nominating you for member of the month, and i ment it, unfortunatly that thread got erased)

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lol - i have about 5 good guy friends who are, objectively, insanely hot, (as you are) who complain to me of their lady troubles. we all like it -to me, it reassures they are not interested in me, and to them it reassures that i am sexless and erases the tits they might normally see.

 

i love guy friends. so much. i'd be a mess without them - in my expereince they are way better than female friends, or at least way less petty and less determined to focus on the trivial. again: this is only with chicks my own age - older chicks are sooooooooo much better and smarter, at everything. they are always reading something, or have a dennis miller or leary rant about something - they are just always about something abstract. they are never small.

 

you have to face that this girl likes you and act accordingly. if you want to steal her, start now; she is not married, after all. if not, she's gotta go, or at least be demoted.

 

support and cheers, j

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If she is jealous over this little thing then you may need to do something about it. Try also to look deep into yourself to see if her jealousy is justified.

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jenny

in my expereince they are way better than female friends, or at least way less petty and determined to focus on the trivial.

I’m surprised that you have trouble meeting reasonable women. I guess there isn’t much hope for me.

jenny

older chicks are sooooooooo much better and smarter, at everything.

Let’s not call them older.

As a guy, I know calling a woman “old,” or “older” will shorten my lifespan.

jenny

they are just always about something abstract. they are never small.

I think this is more like a personality trait.

 

Darkangelism

This could be a typical emotional response. She has her turf, and the thought of competing with other women for attention drives her nuts. Maybe that is why so many women dislike porn.

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lol - darkangelism:

 

blah argghh noise. if someone adopts you as a friend and does not want you to talk about other women she is either

 

a. a freak

b. interested in you.

 

hanlon's razor: stupidity always trumps conspiracy. this. girl. likes. you. so. much. that. she. cannot. stop. and. recognise. what. a. unique. and. bizarre. human. being. you. are. either chase her or stop this friendship.

 

if i knew blockhead in real life, i would never stop crushing on him. i would never be able to listen to his talking of other girls and i would forever send him photos of myself in exponentially small bathing suits. (i have a PI/prime legitimate bathing suit; nerd chicks are prepared; we square to seduce~~ no can divide ME by myself :)) this is what chicks do. it's not great, but there it is. we long for you (you in the collective 'dude' sense)

 

so that's your job. if you do not long, and cannot long, make it clear to her. otherwise you are hurting someone.

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She could like me, she always compliments and tells me that i am the only guy besides her bf that she does that to and she has told me that she loves me, on the other hand, our mutual friend told me to seek pofessional help if i thought it was true(she even gave me a phone number of a shrink)

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Well, I think the next step would be communication with her. Either more of it or less, at least on this subject. You have a choice: (assuming she has no other feelings for you) talk with her about why that makes her uncomfortable. Or, if you think the chances are that she does like you, she might take that opportunity and tell you so. In that case, don't mention it. Because situations like that could get real ugly real quick...

 

But the first thing that it all boils down to is whether or not you think she likes you.

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I don't want to assume she likes me, im going to ignore her, not sit with her in class, see how she reacts.

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Originally posted by Darkangelism

I don't want to assume she likes me, im going to ignore her, not sit with her in class, see how she reacts.

 

How defeatist. Carpe womanus.

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It might be defeatest, but its better then saying that she does like me and then not being able to act on it, her bf is one of my best guy friend's and I couldnt take her away from him, even if i want to.

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Originally posted by Arabess

I'm around guys all day. MOST of you DO spend a lot of time looking and commenting on any female which happens to be walking by. LOL!

 

I look at guys too...but I don't make comments like 'Man, I wish I could jump THAT!". :o...

 

Eew. Yes other guys do say that sort of thing. I can't believe they do it. My other guy friends will say something similar. Me? I'll look at a woman with absolutely beautiful hair and comment on that, or on the color of her eyes, her smile, facial profile, or outfit.

 

Then I get made fun of by my guy friends. Usually they will call me gay. Wrong to make fun of me, and double wrong to use the term "gay" in negative connotation.

 

I believe that I ought to be able to comment on anything I wish with friends. If something really bothers them I will stop. I try to use my best judgment.

 

Seeing as you do not understand why she would be offended at what you are saying, perhaps asking her for her reasons would be good. It might be better to try to understand her views in this situation. At least you'll be able to decide if you can agree to respect them or not, based on her answer.

 

I'm wondering why it would bother her so much though. I used to beam over natural red-heads or girls with beautiful hair... Many of my girlfriends have dyed their hair red, or spent hundreds of dollars on conditioner over me.

 

Silly I guess :)

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I don't just care abot T and A, i do like eyes and lips, i do comment about how i like those featues on girls, it was just this case that I made a more sexual statement.

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You need to assess whether she's being a spaz, or you were being lewd. Can't you just tell us what you said exactly?

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