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Does she like me but needs her space, or does she have no interest in me?


salvadorboy13

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salvadorboy13

Im 15 and I just moved into a small private school with about 100 kids this year. I met this girl about 4 months ago and we were great friends. We would talk and laugh all the time, go out for ice cream etc. But after about 2 months she would start talking to me less, and seemed almost annoyed when I spoke with her. Eventually she completely stopped talking to me and wouldn't acknowledge me at all. I did not do anything to make her not like me, it just seemed like we slowly drifted away. So after about a month she sends me a text saying that shes been thinking about me and misses me and that she would tell me why shes been distant in person.

 

She never did tell me why she stopped talking to me. It was a little awkward talking again but eventually we ended up being just like we were when we first met, if not closer. Everyday we would talk and laugh in class and at lunch, but we haven't seen each other outside of school at all. These past two weeks I feel like were drifting apart again.

 

During class she would say stuff that are ment to be jokes but i feel that theres some truth to them. She would say that everyones tired of me but were all stuck with you, she would tell me to shutup etc. I think she is half joking half wanting me to leave her alone. during lunch I ask if she wants to hang out and she says shes doing homework or something, but I just see her with her friends. She doesn't respond to my texts, and she never asks to hang out. I feel like I am the only one who wants to hangout or be together, and it feels like I am just a bother for her. I really do enjoy spending time with her and I dont want that to end.

 

Last night she texted me and apologized for the mean things she said to me and said she was gonna write me a letter saying how sorry she is. She said that she has been feeling unhappy and depressed lately, and that since im the closest one to her she took it out on me. I told her it was ok and that the best part of my day is just talking to you. I told her how i felt about us drifting apart and that i feel she doesnt want to spend time with me, and she said that she felt the exact same way about me and that the reason she wouldnt hang out is that she felt that i wanted my space, which is not true. I wish i could be with her 24/7 and i feel incomplete when im not with her.

 

The next day at school she does the same thing. She doesnt talk to me at class, says shes too busy to hangout at lunch but shes actually just with her friends. It seemed like she didnt want to talk about what we said yesterday. I feel like she didnt mean the stuff she said, and that she really doesnt want to spend time with me and that she just said that so my feelings would not get hurt. Am I wrong for thinking this way? Do you think that eventually she will want to talk more or is this the end?

 

I feel like she only wants to talk to me when she doesnt have anyone else to talk to, which is most of the day. But once one of her friends are available she ignores me and hangs out with them. I dont want to be just the person she talks to when shes bored and has no one else to talk to.

 

I think its important for you to know that I do like her as more than a friend. I have no idea if the feeling is mutal, we never kissed or fooled around or anything, but I feel like she does enjoy my company and laughs at my jokes and is always smiling when i'm around. I want to have a relationship with her, but I feel that both of us are too scared to make a move. My school is very small, and she is my only real friend, and risking that by making a move scares the hell outta me because I would be lost without her. By what I have said do you feel she likes me as more than a friend as well? And should I make a move?

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I vote you don't make a move on her. I think she really does like you, but she thinks you're not cool enough to be her boyfriend, and that's why she ignores you when her friends are around. So I think you're wasting your time trying to pursue her at this point. You may want to learn how to become a "smoother guy" with women. Maybe read up on it, or observe how other guys who are popular with girls act, and work on some of those techniques/behaviors. Sounds to me like you are too timid, and that doesn't normally appeal to girls. You need to make a move on them rather early on (meaning making it romantic) rather than just hanging out. After you develop a better technique, then start to make some moves on another girl you might be interested in. Drop all interest in this particular girl. You're losing status with your peers and her when you try to pursue someone who is disrespecting you or ignoring you in front of others.

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salvadorboy13
I vote you don't make a move on her. I think she really does like you, but she thinks you're not cool enough to be her boyfriend, and that's why she ignores you when her friends are around. So I think you're wasting your time trying to pursue her at this point. You may want to learn how to become a "smoother guy" with women. Maybe read up on it, or observe how other guys who are popular with girls act, and work on some of those techniques/behaviors. Sounds to me like you are too timid, and that doesn't normally appeal to girls. You need to make a move on them rather early on (meaning making it romantic) rather than just hanging out. After you develop a better technique, then start to make some moves on another girl you might be interested in. Drop all interest in this particular girl. You're losing status with your peers and her when you try to pursue someone who is disrespecting you or ignoring you in front of others.

 

Thank you for the response, but I have to disagree with you. I know that my question sounds very insecure, but I have no problem getting other girls, and she is definatley not ignoring me because Im not cool enough, im friends with most of her friends. No one else knows or thinks i am chasing after this girl, even though I am. I never felt this way about a girl before, most the girls ive dated before were sluts, I was used to girls letting me know early on if they were into me, and if they didnt I wouldnt bother with them because I knew there were always ones who would. I am not good at telling if a girl likes me unless they threw themselves at me. Since my school is so small I dont have those options of switching from girl to girl, so I am stuck with this one, and I cannot tell if she likes me or not. So thats where my insecurity comes in. I agree with you that I should work on setting a romantic tone from the start of a relationship, but its too late for this girl because it would seem awkward if i started now. I will try and do less hangen out and more flirting, and if it doesnt work then I will let go.

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Thank you for the response, but I have to disagree with you. I know that my question sounds very insecure, but I have no problem getting other girls, and she is definatley not ignoring me because Im not cool enough, im friends with most of her friends. No one else knows or thinks i am chasing after this girl, even though I am. I never felt this way about a girl before, most the girls ive dated before were sluts, I was used to girls letting me know early on if they were into me, and if they didnt I wouldnt bother with them because I knew there were always ones who would. I am not good at telling if a girl likes me unless they threw themselves at me. Since my school is so small I dont have those options of switching from girl to girl, so I am stuck with this one, and I cannot tell if she likes me or not. So thats where my insecurity comes in. I agree with you that I should work on setting a romantic tone from the start of a relationship, but its too late for this girl because it would seem awkward if i started now. I will try and do less hangen out and more flirting, and if it doesnt work then I will let go.

You shouldn't allow yourself to be disrespected. She is disrespecting you if she ignores you in front of her friends. You need to have higher self esteem and not pursue someone who treats you like that.

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salvadorboy13
You shouldn't allow yourself to be disrespected. She is disrespecting you if she ignores you in front of her friends. You need to have higher self esteem and not pursue someone who treats you like that.

 

I'll definatley keep that in mind.

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Eddie Edirol

To answer your question, she doesnt like you. She probably liked you in the beginning, and you blew it. You have to understand that if you dont makea move early, you quickly become unattractive and pathetic. And she took advantage of that. And everythng she said was a lie. It does sound like she looks you up when she is bored. That is pathetic of her, because that means she is dependent on attention, even if it is from someone she isnt attracted to. So forget this girl, you were too timid with her in the beginning and thats why she friend zoned you, you didnt take the hint the first time she ignored you, and now she is annoyed that you wont go away. SO ignore her now, leave her alone, and watch how mad she gets when you dont need her attention anymore.

 

I understand she is your only friend at school, but when you do without her, you would be surprised at how fast you make another friend. Dont be afraid to be by yourself, and dont be disrespected just because you dont want to be by yourself. Remember, when you follow her around like a puppy dog, now knowing that she is mistreating you, she tells her friends that too, and they know you have a timid side, which is bad for your rep with the rest o the girls.

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About if she likes you.. I think the way she acts right now she don't.. her gestures are a bit confusing. Sometimes she wont understand what she feels really about you if you don't do the same thing.. i am not suggesting that you ignore her just don't show her that you are interested on her that you allow her to do things like that, that no matter hat she does you don't care.. i was about to suggest you ask her so you'll know but I think this will make things more complicated..

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