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Offered sex....now what?


latormentaperfecta29

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latormentaperfecta29

Hello there :) So I have a best guy friend we will call 'bob'. we have been friends for about 6 months. bob is also married. he and his wife have been having problems ever since we met. he works offshore, and just last month she moved out of state without him. being a man, he comes back with her not being there, and is very horny lol. after discussing it, she gives him a 'hall pass' to use while she is away so he can get his. this has not happened for him yet. we went out last night with some friends, and i had a rough night with an ex of mine...i was feeling very rejected and upset. bob also wasnt having any luck meeting anyone to take home, so in my 'drunken stooper' i suggested we hook up since we both have needs and we are good friends. i am so disappointed in myself for even bringing it up. i do not believe in affairs and i felt like a slut honestly for even suggesting it. he turned me down because he doesn't want to mess up our friendship. i didn't know whether to feel respected or rejected. i know now it was out of respect for me and our friendship, but i feel horrible. i told him it didn't mean anything other than what it was, and he gets annoyed, tells me he doesn't want to talk about it and pretend it didn't happen. a guy that i met that night and left with told me he looked disappointed as he shook his hand and told him to make sure i would get home safe and that bob seems like he has feelings for me. i am confused, and i am in fear my actions with bob last night have made our friendship akward. any advice?

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His wife told you this in person - that she gave her husband permission to have physical-only-sex with anyone her husband chooses?

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latormentaperfecta29

no she did not tell me this in person. she is out of state and he just made it back home from working offshore.

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Then before I made any more offers to your best friend (really, you are best friends after only knowing him 6 months??) about having a ****-buddy relationship with him, I would talk it over with his wife. If she told him that he has a free pass, then there's no big deal in talking with her to see what her expectations would be for her H's carousing.

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latormentaperfecta29

thankyou for you replies, but i don't think you read my post thorougly and accurately. i am not going to sleep with him...yes i suggested it but read my post again to see why and that i regret asking him. and yes to you 6 months is not a long time to consider someone a 'best friend', but we yes he is my best guy friend and has been there for me more times than some of the friends i have known for years.

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Really? I am not sure who you are trying to fool here (me or you), but if you really regretted asking him and wouldn't sleep with him if he knocked your on door tonight, then your post wouldn't be full of 1) hurt that he rejected you and 2) speculation that he has feelings for you and 3) confusion.

 

Your post would have been full of "How can I rectify this situation? How can I make sure that this friendship does not suffer in the future? How can I behave in a way that makes it perfectly clear that sex is forever off the table?" without any hints that you really wouldn't mind if he did rethink your offer.

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  • 2 weeks later...
freetolove

just let it go and forget it about it resume friendship. this guy is married. don't big yourself into a bigger hole.

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