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Old 29th May 2012, 5:16 PM   #91
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Once you cross the line and get a girl pregnant.
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Can people see the line between pregnancy & harmless casual sex?
Of course.
You, as a Christian man, aren't likely to pursue casual sex.

But you're right, temptation can sneak-up on you.

I knew what I was capable of when I was a new Christian in college (lost my virginity in HS, wayyyyyyyy too early)...

One night in my early 20s, went back to a girl's apt. after a church singles group meeting.
While we were kissing and making out (not sure why we started that at that early stage), my hand started caressing her breast with her shirt on.
Suddenly I felt bad about that and stopped and apologized to her.
Hardly knew her and it was like our first date.
So you can "catch" yourself and stop.

If you both are Christians, good to discuss that kind of thing and set "limits" or boundaries if you're trying to remain chaste until marriage.
If she's a virgin and wants to remain that way, believe me, she'll tell you...

Last edited by FredRutherford; 29th May 2012 at 5:20 PM..
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Old 29th May 2012, 5:23 PM   #92
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Lost my virginity in HS, wayyyyyyyy too early
did you know you were going to lose your virginity before you lost it? was it a total accident or were you trying to lose it as soon as you could? in your teens, you were like most guys? was losing your virginity the first time an accident or did you did it because you wanted to do it?
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Old 29th May 2012, 10:06 PM   #93
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Losing my virginity wayyyyyyyy too early...

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Originally Posted by FredRutherford
Lost my virginity in HS, wayyyyyyyy too early
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Originally Posted by JoeyArnold View Post
did you know you were going to lose your virginity before you lost it?

was it a total accident or were you trying to lose it as soon as you could?

in your teens, you were like most guys? was losing your virginity the first time an accident or did you did it because you wanted to do it?
Joey,
Glad you asked as was gonna post this.
Not necessarily for your benefit, but for others reading this.

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did you know you were going to lose your virginity before you lost it?

was it a total accident or were you trying to lose it as soon as you could?
Wasn't a total accident. By the time we had sex, was something that had been building up during our sr. year.

Quote:
in your teens, you were like most guys?
was losing your virginity the first time an accident or did you did it because you wanted to do it?
No, wasn't really interested in having sex. It all seemed to come too easy in our dating.

Was content just holding hands, kissing and hugging at the drive-in movie theater.
Really had no thoughts of having sex with her. Honestly.

One night she told me "I never tried anything..."

Had a car and got ideas and started "exploring..."
One thing led to another in touching, partial clothes off, "dry humping," "light" sexual stuff, next thing you know, we lost our virginities to each other...
Once you get that train a rollin', hard to stop.

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Originally Posted by FredRutherford
[FONT=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Once you cross the line and get a girl pregnant.[/FONT]
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I also know that people get accidentally pregnant all of the time. I do not want to get girls pregnant.
Pregnancy fear was one reason I stopped the sex.
A condom failure made me question if being a father @17-18 was really something I wanted.
We both felt immense guilt, it was yucky and never got better.
So asked her if we could stop.
Only had sex 3-4X but realized it wasn't something we needed to do.

Now it sounds like I blame her, but it was more on me.
I didn't HAVE to have sex with her. No one pressured us. Just seemed like the thing to do.

Wasn't the man I should have been toward her and a big life regret.
Wasn't a Christian then. Wasn't anti-Christian, just didn't really know much about it. Became of faith a year later in college.

The year of my 30th reunion, "apologized" to her.
Big mistake. But felt I needed to say something.
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Old 31st May 2012, 5:38 PM   #94
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Wasn't the man I should have been toward her and a big life regret.
Regret is irrelevant.
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Old 1st June 2012, 9:05 AM   #95
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Wasn't the man I should have been toward her and a big life regret
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Regret is irrelevant.
Why?

I really wish I hadn't gotten sexual with her.
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Old 1st June 2012, 3:03 PM   #96
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Why? I really wish I hadn't gotten sexual with her.
Regret is like touching a hot stove.
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Old 1st June 2012, 3:14 PM   #97
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Regret getting sexual with her... but don't regret HER.

You read in posts how many women post how they regret giving their virginities to a guy that "was such a jerk" after he didn't call after they had sex, ignored her calls, etc.
They fall for all his lines and discover he's a louse or player after the guy gets what he wants and bolts.
You can almost set your stopwatch to when he'll leave...

.... but that's not why I regret the incident.
Merely regret not being the kind of guy I should've been toward her... one that wouldn't press a woman for sex nor take advantage of her... That was the kind of guy I was in college and in my 20s....

Did ask her for her forgiveness.
May post her response later.
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Old 1st June 2012, 3:19 PM   #98
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Merely regret not being the kind of guy I should've been toward her.
do you regret regret?
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Old 13th June 2012, 9:48 AM   #99
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Epilogue..... apology

Quote:
Originally Posted by FredRutherford View Post
Regret getting sexual with her... .

....

Did ask her for her forgiveness.
May post her response later.
A year or so ago, around my 30th HS reunion, got this idea to "apologize" to her.

Looking at her Facebook page (we're not friends), she's big into Catholicism and appears she's a conservative Christian.
So figured some Christian forgiveness would be in order....

All I said was,

".....this may seem awkward, but I feel I need to say it.
I want to apologize for what happened between you and I in HS.
We didn't HAVE to have sex, and I pressured you.

I wasn't half the man I should have been and the man you needed then.
I regret my actions and asked forgiveness of God years ago...
Want to ask forgiveness of you...."
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Old 13th June 2012, 9:49 AM   #100
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Well... got my response.
The response wasn't in the galaxy of what I expected.... or wanted.


HER RESPONSE:

".... Please don't contact me..."
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Old 1st July 2012, 7:39 PM   #101
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".... Please don't contact me..."
unfortunately, her response, attitude, perspective, mentality, is quite typical & depressing
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