University_girl Posted February 21, 2012 Share Posted February 21, 2012 Hello, I'm the friend who's been through a lot. Brief background: Freshman in college, parents died when I was 15, only family left is suicidal. Last night, my closest friends here at my University told me they can't deal with me, as I've been through too much. They told me that due to this, they don't know how to help me when I confide to them about things that are happening. I told them that I never really expected advice, just comfort and a listening ear/someone to talk to. My friends final statement on this issues was that I can tell them when I'm upset, just not why. This really hurt me and they also said that my issues in life are burdening the friendship as it stresses them out. One said that she has to worry about school and work and me confiding to her just stresses her out even more... I don't know what to do, I told them that I need a few days away from them to think about this. I go to therapy, so it's not like I dump it all on them...and I got an apartment with them for next year, so I'm really just stuck, I can't get out of the lease if the friendship were to end. What do you think of all of this? I just need an outside perspective and advice, I guess. I'm really lost on this. Link to post Share on other sites
setsenia Posted February 21, 2012 Share Posted February 21, 2012 (edited) I totally feel the way you do right now. I've had a pretty colorful childhood myself and for that reason I tend to keep fewer, closer friends. I've had many traumatic experiences with friends when I was going through a lot of issues as a kid. I didn't really have any best friends until middle school. I've learned from my mistakes in confiding to people too soon, because it tended to backfire. Instead, now that I'm older, I wait until I have known the person a while before bringing up the traumatic events of my past. I've seen many people air their laundry when they first get to know someone and I can see how it can backfire. No one wants a drama queen/king. I know how you feel and having that lonely feeling. I feel like I don't have many friends since we're all spread apart, but I am glad to have fewer closer friends I could trust my life with. You don't need that drama from a huge group of friends. Edited February 21, 2012 by setsenia Link to post Share on other sites
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