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Why do I have a hard time making friends?


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This is my first post so I'm sorry if its really crappy.

 

The point is, I've been living in California for about six and a half years now. I moved here when I was 15. Before I moved here I used to live in the netherlands. I had a great time there.

 

I had a lot of friends. Friends that cared about me and that I cared about. And until this day i still talk to. When I moved here to California, my first year in high school was not fun. I came here as a sophomore and I didn't know anything about american high schools, or the people. I tried to make friends at my school but it seemed impossible and I only made one friend. After my sophomore year I transferred to another school in the same town thinking maybe I could make some friends there, and I did. Some. I was there for my last two years of high school, both years I had different friends. It seemed like after the summer everyone just forgets about you and they move on to other people. So by the end of my senior year I only "had" about 3 friends. If I can even call them friends. After graduation I didn't know where they were and what college they went to unless I see their facebooks.

 

I though now that I'm in college I can start over again. I made friends but like I said before, after the summer they move on to new people.

 

I'm shy around people at first but I open up eventually.

 

I guess what I'm trying to say is, why is it so hard for me to make friends or keep them when I have so many caring and trusting friends back in the netherlands that I still keep in contact with.

 

There is one other thing. The area I live in have many "rich" people and snotty kids that went to my school. They weren't nice or very inviting to me. I felt that maybe if you didn't grow up in this area that you just don't fit in.

 

I know that this is probably a waste of time reading this but what can I do to make friends. The only time I'm with someone is only on the weekends when I see my boyfriend.

 

Please please give me some advice. Even an "online" friend is fine as long as I have someone to talk to.

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If you're in one of the larger cities like L.A., you could look online for different sites to see if there are any groups, meetings etc. held for people from the Netherlands that you could join. Possibly you could ask your friends from the Netherlands to visit you, or you could plan a trip to visit them maybe on a school break or next summer.

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I went to an international school there and its hard to visit my friends since they all moved back to their countries after they graduated high school.

 

I just wanna know how I can make friends and make sure that I'm making the right ones.

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With Christmas approaching us soon, possibly you could get a part-time job in one of the stores at a mall. Do you live near a mall? Some of the stores will hire "temporary" help for the holidays. It would be a great way to make a little extra money and meet a lot of people. Also, belonging to a gym is another way to meet people. It's great that you can see your boyfriend on week-ends.

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Another good way to make friends is through volunteering, especially if it's for a cause that you are into. I'm also shy, but I enjoy working with others. I find it's easier to have a task to focus on rather then just sit and try to win someone over with "fancy socializing skills" :)

 

I went to a private school with "rich kids", always felt poor in comparison and detached... for a couple years my parents couldn't afford it and I had to go to a local public school. The kids there were MUCH more inviting and warm, and I made some good friends there. It was heartbreaking to leave that school :( The rich kids were nice too, just seemed more socially awkward and distant, like they were under more pressure or their family situation was not as healthy.

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