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New friendship - red flags


Friendship Having issues with a friend? Get it off your chest!

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Old 27th September 2015, 12:46 AM   #211
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SpiralOut View Post
I have left the company that we were both working for. I don't have to hear about her from other people or talk to her on the phone. I am extremely unlikely to ever see her again. I just deleted her from my facebook. I guess I could have done that earlier but I didn't think to. Goodbye forever!
Great!! And even better that you deleted her (block her too) since you two are not friends and you can't stand her.
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Old 4th July 2016, 3:40 PM   #212
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Enough time has passed that I can see it all clearly now. I could not see it before because my self-esteem was too low for me to even imagine, let alone admit, what was happening.

She had a huge crush on a guy at work. He and I got along really well. Nothing ever happened with us, as I don't mess around with guys at work, but she got jealous anyway. That explains all her jabs about my ex-boyfriend and her bitter comments about how "all the guys like her [me]." It might even explain why she kept trying to set me up with some guy she knew, even though she knew nothing about him, and I wasn't interested. She didn't seem to care if we were a good match or not.

She loves to be the center of attention. I did not consider myself to be popular at work, nor do I really care about popularity, but when I look back on it now it's fair to say that I was better liked than her. That explains why she would blurt out rude things about me (usually when people were paying attention to me, or I had just made people laugh), corner me in the break-room and try to imply that other people (my work friends) don't actually like me, gossiped behind my back to other people that I don't do anything (oh yes, I eventually found out that she was doing that), told me to my face that she thinks I have no life.

At the same time, she acted jealous of my friendship with another girl I went to yoga class with. I think that's why she told me all the time about how stupid she thinks yoga is, and even complained about yoga to other colleagues. I think she was upset that I hadn't invited her. Well last time I checked, it is okay for me to have friends and do stuff with them. She also paid too much attention to my after-work activities and would act quite angry if she found out I had met up with someone we both knew. I later found out years later that she got angry if people met up without inviting her. So I guess that's what that was all about.

She was jealous, plain and simple, and lacked the maturity to control herself. She wanted me to be her friend, perhaps thinking I could connect her with other people or bring her into a social group, but at the same time she didn't want me to be better than her. Not that I ever was better than her, but inside her head, she thought that I was. She felt threatened by me. She thought I would take away her love interest and she thought I was stealing the spotlight away from herself. I don't even need to be the center of attention; it's not something that I go out looking for. People just liked me. Sorry for not wearing a paper bag on my head and sitting in the corner.

Anyway, I just thought that I would post an update. It feels good to finally see things clearly. I was confused for such a long time!

Last edited by SpiralOut; 4th July 2016 at 3:44 PM..
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