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!!! socially awkward


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Old 22nd October 2011, 9:58 PM   #1
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!!! socially awkward

I am 22 and through out my whole life i have always been a bit socially awkward...there's times where i just don't say anything or i might come off rude when im trying to be funny and stuff like that...it really started to show in high school. Im not the best at a conversation ether with people i really want to get to know..girls, nice and cool friends or in big groups of people...i just don't know what to say or how to add to the convo. I feel like im extremely boring person to be around a lot of the time as well...is this something i can change or something i have to learn to deal with...and if have any other questions plz ask
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Old 22nd October 2011, 11:51 PM   #2
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It could be a few things. One, do you feel nervous? and two, do you assume people to be scrutinizing you closely. There are other issues like what you say but I don't have a way to know how to help on that. The two I mentioned are kind of intertwined. There are other LSers who have a problem where they think so much about their imperfections that they think people are focusing on nothing but. The real truth is that everyone has their own concerns about themselves and they are not scrutinizing you that closely. There may be some people in your past who bullied and exploited your imperfections but grown up people today don't act the way family or mean teachers or bullies act for the most part.

If you don't suffer from that but have "nerves" around people, you may have "social anxiety". You can work on that the old fashioned way by trying to put yourself in situations a lot that demand you to overcome. Or, you could address that the newer way with perhaps a SSRI medication that helps you concentrate more so that you can "police" your feelings into proper proportions. If you do that you can then test yourself by indeed taking a lot of social risks and volunteering your opinions on things.

You are still very young and some of the anxiety will go away as you age regardless. Good luck.
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Old 23rd October 2011, 1:01 AM   #3
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I, too, used to be extremely shy. I was picked on all through middle school and was very awkward.

Luckily I overcame that by putting myself in situations where I HAD to talk to people. In high school, I joined the math team; nerdy, but we worked in teams to help each other. I also joined the speech and debate team, which DEFINITELY helped a LOT. Another thing I did was interact with people (strangers) online, which also helps a LOT because you can explore your own personality and be silly and do stupid things and still hide behind a screen.

If you met me now, you would not think I was shy. People often tell me I am outgoing.

That being said, it is a lot of work. I don't think I am trying to be someone who I am not; I look at it as developing social skill. I still know that, at the core of my being, I am introverted. I make sure to have "me" time; taking walks alone, holing up in the library and reading a book, doing things by myself.

I'm definitely not an expert though. I am 19 years old so I can somewhat relate to your youth. But if you want to develop socially, then the only way to do it is to jump into social situations. It's like a muscle; it only grows if you train it.
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