Breakup, rebound, friends and best friends engaged

[wiredjon]

Ok so that title didn't make much sense. Will try to keep this short!

Me and my best mate ended up both split up with long term girlfriends, 10 years each give or take around the same time as each other. So logically both moved in together to save money with plans to go travelling and see the world a bit.

1 month later my mate ends up dating a new girl, I started getting a bit panicky and asked her if she had any single mates. She set me up with a nice girl and things moved far too quickly and she became my girlfriend.

Things were good for a while and with the girls being good friends they were round quite regularly. After a few months I realised I'd got into this relationship to fast and was using her to patch over my previous relationship (who I loved deeply but she 'didn't feel the same' at the end) So I was still heart broken from that. My new girlfriend was lovely but I didn't 'click' in the same way as my previous girl.

Then the girls came up with the idea of moving in with us for a while so we could all save money. My best friend jumped at the chance, I knew it was a bad idea (for me personally) but felt I couldn't let everyone down. After a couple of weeks I started getting really down (noticeably by everyone) I ended up telling my girlfriend that I wasn't ready for her to move in and wasn't sure if it was too fast relationship wise.

She moved out anyway but I continued feeling down. Nearly back to the near depressive state I was in when I broke up last year. I was struggling to see a future for us so we ended up last week splitting up. Now i'm ridden with guilt that I felt I'd been stringing her along. So I'm left with a strange situation where I'm living with my best friend and his girlfriend.

And to make things even worse ironically on the same day I split up with my girlfriend, he proposed to his! For some reason this has sent me even lower. Of course I congratulated them but I can't feel happy for them. I guess maybe because their relationship is mirrored with mine. They've succeeded whereas I've failed?

He's said he'd like to go travelling but can't see it happening anymore

I'm struggling to see any future at all now, I'd put alot of stock into my previous relationship and had planned kids, marriage etc. I'm still pining after her.

My mate is now planning on selling his house and buying a place with his girlfriend but wants me to stay to help pay bills etc but A. I feel like i'm invading on their space. B. I can't stand being around them with how happy and loved up they are. I'd move out but my choices are:

Living on my own: I don't think I'd have enough money to spend on doing things I like which might feel like i'm working just to live.

Living with my parents: i'm 28 (getting a bit old for this and would feel like I've lost my independence)

Living with a different friend: I've got a possibility but he's living somewhere else and his lease isn't up til next may (6 months away) plus hes a total slob.

 

I know this is long winded, I've probably missed out essential details etc but this is the basic jist. If anyone has any advice or ideas, let me know! cheers!

[TrueColors]

...This is why it's bad idea to rely on other people's dreams.

 

WiredJon, sorry to hear about the mess you're in.

 

Are you living in the city or the suburbs? Can you afford to live on your own and would you like to?

 

If you really don't want to live with your "slob" friend, why don't you advertise for a roommate instead?

[wiredjon]

Cheers for getting back to me,

Yeah, cocked this one up somewhat! I live relatively close to the center of a large town. I think I could just afford to live on my own but wouldn't want to have no cash for going out and enjoying life. Its quite pricey where I live

I think i'd definately enjoy having the space and quiet though but I don't know how bored or lonely I might get?

I'm gonna definately rule out going back to my parents.

Guess the toss up is, do I get my own place now and try to stick it out potentially having no money? or wait it out living cheap with my best mate and his girlfriend for 6 months and live with my slob mate afterwards?

Guess advertising is an option, but i've witnessed a horror story before involving a psycho smashing a fire extinguisher though my ex-ex girlfriends bedroom door! (a bit 'the shining' style) So i'm kinda put off by this idea!

Not sure if my mood is going to alter though living here.

Got their official engagement party this weekend. And I know my ex is going to be there. Shes quite down herself, might sound selfish but don't think I could deal with her problems too. But I can't not go. eugh.