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why do men-freinds expect sex?


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Old 6th October 2011, 5:50 PM   #1
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why do men-freinds expect sex?

i know they like it, but this is about why alot of my male aquaintances think i am up for it. i don't dress sexy, am average looking but wonder what it is that is telling men that a yes is assured.

i blame porn and half-dressed celebrities giving men the impression that women are all available. i'm not talking men in love, rather, i'm talking men making passes

this is not flattering, to be asked, coz guys can get pretty snarky if a woman says no. too, it's not about being the numero uno either as some men-friends tell me openly that they want rich women

do other women find this sexual free-for-all a bit much?

i'd like men and women to answer
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Old 8th October 2011, 10:00 PM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by darkmoon View Post
why do men-freinds expect sex?

There is no such thing as "men friends" in this context.


The only reason why they have any interest in you is because they see themselves as being in-line to get into your pants, and/or for your romantic affections.
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Old 8th October 2011, 10:12 PM   #3
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I suspect it's either an age or a geographical location issue. Because it can't be because I'm unattractive.
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Old 9th October 2011, 12:15 AM   #4
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Originally Posted by SincereOnlineGuy View Post
There is no such thing as "men friends" in this context.


The only reason why they have any interest in you is because they see themselves as being in-line to get into your pants, and/or for your romantic affections.
Pretty much this.

IMO a smart woman would understand that all men she knows would like to have sex with her.

It's just how men are.
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Old 9th October 2011, 12:53 AM   #5
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I'd expect sex too if a girl wanted to spend alone time and I wanted to be a lone with her. Keep some boundaries and keep the friendship less intimate if you don't want to be propositioned. Girls make better friends if you want to have dinner dates, or go see movies with out much likely hood of sex.
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Old 10th October 2011, 5:20 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by darkmoon View Post
i know they like it, but this is about why alot of my male aquaintances think i am up for it. i don't dress sexy, am average looking but wonder what it is that is telling men that a yes is assured.

i blame porn and half-dressed celebrities giving men the impression that women are all available. i'm not talking men in love, rather, i'm talking men making passes

this is not flattering, to be asked, coz guys can get pretty snarky if a woman says no. too, it's not about being the numero uno either as some men-friends tell me openly that they want rich women

do other women find this sexual free-for-all a bit much?

i'd like men and women to answer
No such thing as men friends. All guys want to do girls they hang with, if we didn't we would not hang around them
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Old 11th October 2011, 6:55 PM   #7
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Absolute bollocks cutecatch...you need to grow up...i have 3 or 4 female friends and i don't want to bed ANY of them...we're friends and i value their friendship a great deal.

Too much generalization and sexist remarks on this post!!!!
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Old 11th October 2011, 8:43 PM   #8
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I've never "expected" anything. If I'm attracted I might have hopes that it will go that way but no "expectations". If I'm not attracted, I can be a friend without the sexual dimension.
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Old 11th October 2011, 10:38 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by darkmoon View Post
i know they like it, but this is about why alot of my male aquaintances think i am up for it. i don't dress sexy, am average looking but wonder what it is that is telling men that a yes is assured.

i blame porn and half-dressed celebrities giving men the impression that women are all available. i'm not talking men in love, rather, i'm talking men making passes

this is not flattering, to be asked, coz guys can get pretty snarky if a woman says no. too, it's not about being the numero uno either as some men-friends tell me openly that they want rich women

do other women find this sexual free-for-all a bit much?

i'd like men and women to answer

You seem to think it's abnormal behavior for men to try to have sex with women.

Why is that?
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Old 12th October 2011, 7:32 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by MilfinBerle View Post
You seem to think it's abnormal behavior for men to try to have sex with women.

Why is that?
i never used the word abnormal. but if i dress dull and my male freinds are looking for someone special with me as an interim sexual fixture, it became a query for me to run on here as to wonder what others made this sexual free-for-all and why these men get snarky

Last edited by darkmoon; 12th October 2011 at 7:47 PM..
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Old 24th October 2011, 4:34 AM   #11
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Hi to all....
Well from my experience..when a man is a friend of a woman..it ultimately turns out that the man is used up for everything..i.e.
1. To kill their lonely time when their boyfriend does not have time.
2. Want to go out for drives, movies, lunches, dinners.
3. To have a shoulder to cry on someone who can listen to their sorry tales with boyfriends, family, work or life issues..
4. Need some financial assistance.
5. Want to meet up with them everyday day as they want their boyfrienda to know they to have a life.
6. Leave your work for her work and then be called a loser.
7. All at the expense of a man friend.

So these very men are burned emotionally, financially, mentally, by their so called woman friends without getting anything in return..
I have suffered the same..so have some men..so when a woman friend can expect all these by cant a man friend expect the same & in now it better start in the inital stages of the friendship because later it all get messy
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Old 24th October 2011, 5:04 AM   #12
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its all because of the growing culture in the metros that men usually believe that each girl is ready to accept their desire if they say that they want to sleep with them.....but it is not true....the men who expect this should get their thinking into the right place...
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Old 24th October 2011, 5:19 AM   #13
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[QUOTE=darkmoon;3664041]
Quote:
i know they like it, but this is about why alot of my male aquaintances think i am up for it. i don't dress sexy, am average looking but wonder what it is that is telling men that a yes is assured.
You might want to consider hanging out with a different crowd.

Quote:
i blame porn and half-dressed celebrities giving men the impression that women are all available. i'm not talking men in love, rather, i'm talking men making passes
That is a reasonable conclusion.
Are these men friends or acquaintances & are they flirting or making passes. The answer is; friends DON'T make passes.


Quote:
this is not flattering, to be asked, coz guys can get pretty snarky if a woman says no. too, it's not about being the numero uno either as some men-friends tell me openly that they want rich women
It sounds like you need to reclassify these friends as acquaintances & then find a new social network
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Old 24th October 2011, 12:03 PM   #14
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I think a lot of it comes from this stupid phenomenon called f*ckbuddies or "friends with benefits".

It appears to me that there are a lot of people who are physically lonely (they have friends but no sex partner) and so they look for someone to share their bed with. You are a logical choice (in their eyes) if you are friends with them and don't have a current BF/SO/H.

If you value their friendship but don't want to be FB with someone, then be blunt and plain "Hey, Bill; I have zero desire to have mess around with you. Go ask someone else. You know I love you and all that, but I am not about to mess up our friendship by crossing that line." Keep it light the first time, and get stern the second. If he keeps pushing, then end the friendship.
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Old 24th October 2011, 12:38 PM   #15
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what do your words convey to these men? what does your body language say to them?

are the two in alignment?

IF my words say no - but i'm openly flirting - and getting too close to them = they will get a mixed signal...

what message are you sending with both forms of communication?
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