Work v Friendships

[Lolaa]

I have a close circle of about 5 girlfriends. We met in first year of university and have stayed close ever since, going out almost every weekend together. Well it's been 5 years now and most of us are about to finish our degrees, so everyone's starting to diversify a bit. I have a full time job over this summer and all of my other friends are going overseas. I am really excited for them and will miss them heaps. However, they had their joint farewell dinner last night and although I intended to go, I got stuck at work and couldn't make it. I rang them and told them the problem, but I got a chilly reception about it. I have tried to apologise for my absence today, and although they each have said it's okay, only one of my friends I think really understands. The others (and one in particular), have basically said that I am prioritising work over friendship and that it's a 'dissapointment'. I hate leaving things on a weird note but I don't know how to explain to them that yes, sometimes my work does take priority over my social life.

 

Do you think I should have gone to the farewell?? Are my priorities skewed? Its times like these I resent that my friends don't know what it is like to have to work.

[Olly]

Oh GOD. How pety.

You would never catch a group of lads behaving like this. This is just a fine example of the simple minded, pety behaviour of a group of girlies.

 

If you gotta work girl, you gotta work. Thats the real world and these girls are gonna have a shock when they step out of the cosy world of UNI and find that theyæll have to work and work hard to work..........its always a bit of a shock after graduation.

 

Iwas like you. I worked at the same time as studying. I think its a good preperation for the real world and you should not feel guilty for that. In the real world work, family, home, paying the bills, and all these things do take priority over social life, you are sampling this already.

 

If they continue to be petty, whatever. You can not change such childish behaviour in people. I am sure youll meet some great people on your journey through life and you dont need them necesarrily. I know it is not always nice to leave on a bad note, but who do you think is really causing that? Not you. If they want to be like that I am afraid you can control that. But dont let that dictate today.

 

Have a final chat with them. If they cant see reason, then hopefully they will understand when they sample the harsh relaities of REAL LIFE.

[Arabess]

Lolaa,

I always put work over ANY type of relationship. Not because I'm a work-a-holic but because I have bills to pay. Will I look back as an older person and have regrets? Probably so! Call your friends or send a note....and do what you can to stay in touch. There will be times in your life when a good friend DOES mean more than a paycheck. (hmmmm....did I really say that???) Maybe I should be checking out my OWN life and priorities. LOL!

[moimeme]

At the end of your life, it's the people you loved that will have mattered. I've seen all sorts of people give their hearts and souls to their jobs - only to be completely crushed when they were 'downsized'.

 

Of course you have to be responsible to work and at work, but if this was a one-of, last-time-to-see-each-other affair, I would have done everything possible to arrange my schedule to spend that time with my friends. I probably would have gone to dinner and then returned to work after and worked very late.

 

However, if you were not in the sort of position that you had that liberty, then you may have to wait a bit until they are working for them to understand how some employers can be merciless taskmasters.