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How can you say you love her if you can't even eat her poop?


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Old 15th August 2011, 12:32 AM   #1
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How can you say you love her if you can't even eat her poop?

My friend is having some existential crisis over this. His girlfriend of 3 years asked him to eat her poop, and he's freaking out, considering breaking up with her.

this is a woman who's beautiful, intelligent, and loves him more than anything. Honestly, what's the big deal?

I really wanna help him get over this tiny little thing. He'll be heartbroken if he loses her.

But i just dont get it. How can he honestly say he loves her if he can't even eat her poop?
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Old 15th August 2011, 12:35 AM   #2
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I wouldn't do it for anyone, not even Matt Damon.
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Old 15th August 2011, 12:41 AM   #3
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Oh, this made me laugh.


If someone wants their poop eaten, they should get a dog. Dogs enjoy this sort of thing. To them it's haute cuisine. But they also think dead things make very excellent cologne.
Poop is not for people to nom on.
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Old 15th August 2011, 12:49 AM   #4
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He won't lose her if he eats her poop.. that is the answer then.. he just needs to eat it..
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Old 15th August 2011, 1:02 AM   #5
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He won't lose her if he eats her poop.. that is the answer then.. he just needs to eat it..
i know that, but how do i get him to stop being so paranoid about it so he wont be a depressed pile of crap for the next few months??
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Old 15th August 2011, 1:06 AM   #6
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He could say that he loves her a lot more easily without her poop in his mouth.
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Old 15th August 2011, 1:13 AM   #7
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i know that, but how do i get him to stop being so paranoid about it so he wont be a depressed pile of crap for the next few months??
Are you asking for tips on how to talk your "friend" into eating poop so he can stay in the relationship???

He should be paranoid about it.
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Old 15th August 2011, 1:14 AM   #8
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Are you asking for tips on how to talk your "friend" into eating poop so he can stay in the relationship???

He should be paranoid about it.
yes, except without the winky face and quotes

i see nothing wrong at all with eating her poop

what's the big deal?
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Old 15th August 2011, 1:20 AM   #9
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No i'm not, this is really worrying me because hwen he gets depressed i have to deal with it because we're best bros, but i really dont understand what his problem here is and i need help understanding because he says that it's not just him

im sorta offended you're even accusing me of such a thing, i came here looking for some honest help...

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Old 22nd August 2011, 1:47 AM   #10
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The fact that this is in "Platonic" "Friendship" should surely give him away!
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Old 22nd August 2011, 2:18 AM   #11
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Originally Posted by Spades Slick View Post
My friend is having some existential crisis over this. His girlfriend of 3 years asked him to eat her poop, and he's freaking out, considering breaking up with her....

....But i just dont get it. How can he honestly say he loves her if he can't even eat her poop?
Oh, man... This thread just cries out for Gold Pile's participation... Where are you when we need you, buddy?

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i know that, but how do i get him to stop being so paranoid about it so he wont be a depressed pile of crap for the next few months??
Heh, funny you should pick that particular phraseology... Either eat it or become it - is that your take on his situation?
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Old 12th September 2011, 8:48 PM   #12
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That's beyond insane. Who would want to do that?
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Old 12th September 2011, 9:10 PM   #13
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Troll nonsense. Anyone who would do that would be a damn fool. What kind of woman would require that of her SO and then grant him love for doing it. It's disgusting in every dimension.
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Old 12th September 2011, 11:49 PM   #14
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are you serious? she wants him to eat her poop...? omg im sorry but that is hilarious. she must be a freak LOL
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Old 13th September 2011, 5:06 PM   #15
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No i'm not, this is really worrying me because hwen he gets depressed i have to deal with it because we're best bros, but i really dont understand what his problem here is and i need help understanding because he says that it's not just him
If you, OP, don't understand that it is WAY out of the norm to expect someone to eat your poop as a test of love and devotion, then of course you will not be able to understand what his problem is.

We all understand that, so we completely understand what his problem is.

It seems like there are two compatible people in the room here: you and your best bud's GF both seem to think it's no big deal to expect someone to eat your poop. I think you should snap this girl up at the first opportunity, as it sounds like a match made in heaven to me...
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