AmericanHoney Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 I was out with my cousins today for dinner and I get a text from my friend saying I need to talk to you can I come over?? I said no I am with my cousins and my friend got really mad and said well if you had a problem i'd drop everything and come to your house no questions asked. I appologized over and over saying I was with my cousins who I don't see very often and I said if you want to call me you can and she texts back leave me alone I had horrible day. I feel like the bad guy here because I was with my cousins and didn't drop everything for her. I said for her to call me but she wouldn't and when I called she ignored me. Who is being childish me or her? Link to post Share on other sites
davesoprano Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 (edited) She's the one being childish of course, as childish and self-centered as a 2 year old. She sounds like a manipulative friend who uses your guilt against you to get what she wants. You should speak to her firmly and let her know you're not going to tolerate this kind of crap from her, the world is not only about her. If she were in the middle of something and told you she wouldn't be available for you to see, you'd understand so why the hell can't she understand your own situation, like your own feelings don't matter at all but her's. She could've said something like "can you call me back when your cousins have left or when you're available?" but no she decided to trash you out instead because that's how she feels empowered. Trust me you point out all this to her, she will feel like the stupid one (which is exactly how she's acting) Edited July 28, 2011 by davesoprano Link to post Share on other sites
freestyle Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 I agree with the poster above---- It's great to be there for a friend, but friends can't expect each other to 'drop everything' on short notice. What if you'd been at work? Or in class? On a date? On an interview? Having sex? (NOT all at the same time--hopefully...) Unless something's on fire, or someone's bleeding---there aren't any real emergencies that require a friend to drop their plans on short notice. If you're busy already, a friend should understand that. You can always offer to make time as soon as your other commitments are taken care of. A mature friend will understand that YOU have a life, and needs that matter, too. Just curious, is this the type of friend who starts dumping on you the moment you answer the phone, without first asking if you even have time to talk? I've had a few like that, and I had to start setting boundaries, for my own peace of mind. I'm a very compassionate person, who makes time for a friend in trouble, or hurting----but sadly, there are people who will take advantage of that toooo much. (and very often, they won't return the favor) It's great to be there for someone, and take pride in being a good friend,but make sure it's balanced, & your needs are being respected as well. Otherwise, you'll start to feel resentful............ (.......advice from a reformed 'resucer/people pleaser' ) Link to post Share on other sites
Author AmericanHoney Posted August 2, 2011 Author Share Posted August 2, 2011 Sorry I haven't been online but an update and talk about a hypocrite! I let her cool off for a bit and then she randomly texts me and says hey what's up are you ok?? I said of course are you and she said ya I am fine and acted like it was no big deal. Drama queen! Today I was going out and invited her and she said oh I can't and was very vague so I said okay I am a little bummed but whatever and she said I have alot of crap I have to take care of and left it at that. Now I could of easily gotten upset and said oh you are blowing me off but no I didn't do that. Link to post Share on other sites
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