darkempriss Posted July 19, 2011 Share Posted July 19, 2011 I'll try to make this short with as many details as possible (sounds impossible I know!). I've known this friend for 2 years and we've become very close and best friends in this short time. We're always there for each when there are good times and bad and talk through everything. When I was going through my separation she was there for me and I was/am so thankful for that. I've always wanted to return the favor in a way and always be there for her. She's always been a semi-negative person and has very low self-esteem. The last few months it's been so difficult to be around her because she always says things like "what have I done to deserve all this bad ****", "i'm obviously not allowed to ever be happy", "God is punishing me and giving me a ****ty life" or "why is everybody else allowed to be happy but me?". It's so hard for me to deal with this because I try to see the positive in everything and try to be realistic as well. I've told her that her happiness is in her hands and it's up to her to make her own happiness, everything happens for a reason, etc. Things that sounds cheesy but I really do believe in because of everything I've gone through. Every time I ask how her day was or what she got up to, she makes it sounds like her life is so awful and that it's every body else's fault but her own. I've tried to remain the positive friend and encourage her happiness and well-being, but it's so exhausting now it's getting to the point where I don't even want to talk to her because I don't want her ruining my day. I've told her that she is very negative and the only response that comes from that is "well you would be too if you had my life". Truth be told, her life isn't that bad, she has finished University, lives at home and her family loves her. She has a job that she hates and wants to get a new one, but spends her time searching for boyfriends on Plenty of Fish instead of looking for jobs...I mean...she's miserable because she's making herself miserable... Anyways, I don't know what to do, I want to be her friend and be there for her. But I feel exhausted and frustrated every time we talk and I ruin my good mood because her bad mood brings me down. Should I give us some space? Tell her straight what I think even though she'll hate me for it? AHhhhhhh Link to post Share on other sites
K706 Posted July 19, 2011 Share Posted July 19, 2011 A good friend isn't so negative....sounds like she's having some serious issues. Let her know how you feel- tell her that her attitude recently is dragging you down- that you want to be there for her, like she's been there for you, but things need to change. Give her some space (or your relationship anyway). It can be hard, but it seems like this is what needs to happen.... Link to post Share on other sites
Badenov Posted July 19, 2011 Share Posted July 19, 2011 She needs therapy & probably anti-depression medication. But 1st & foremost she needs to admit to herself she needs it. Until she realizes she has a problem, there's nothing you can do. Link to post Share on other sites
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