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feels like "best friend" likes me to be miserable


Friendship Having issues with a friend? Get it off your chest!

Old 12th July 2011, 11:04 PM   #1
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feels like "best friend" likes me to be miserable

I have a friend who I used to consider to be my best girlfriend but over the past year I feel like thats dwindling. A lot of the time it feels like she tries purposely to make me sad or hurt my feelings.

I had been dating this guy a long time ago who ended it and I was pretty upset. I actually overheard her tell him to stay away from me and when I confronted her about it, she lied to my face. Then a week or so later she was out with him and some of our other friends and she told me he told her they should hook up "because they would be really hot together". I honestly don't believe that actually happened.

A few months later I began seeing a man who she had introduced me to. After out first date (which went extremely well) I called her to tell her about it and she told me that the week before that, she had been IMing him and he told her he wanted to sleep with her.

She told me once she was going to sleep with my ex of 3 years right after we had broken up.

She tells my personal stuff to other people we know all the time and sometimes she just says really hurtful stuff to me and I'm not sure why she does it. I don't know how to deal with her or what to say when she says rude things to me.
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Old 22nd July 2011, 4:35 PM   #2
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CUT HER OFF. Cut her off, cut her off, cut her off. Don't even waste your energy overanalyzing the situation. It will just be a waste of life. She is a vampire, a leech, a sociopath who feeds off the misery of others. She's a backstabbing conniving bitch, no offense.

I've met these kinds of people all my life to not know a terrible person when I see one or hear of one. I'm currently dealing with a nutcase as well in the form of a woman but it's more like a **** buddy situation, but believe me I'm not proud.

But yea stay away from her like the poisonous snake that she is. I believe she is just hanging out with you because you're misfortune is like her entertainment.
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Old 22nd July 2011, 6:23 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by davesoprano View Post
I believe she is just hanging out with you because you're misfortune is like her entertainment.
I agree. I'm sorry this is long but please read it as some of these things could happen to you.

My 'best friend' was like that but worse, we were friends for 8 years, everyone else (& I mean everyone) kept telling me to 'get rid of her' & 'friends are not meant to treat you the way she does'. I felt sorry for her as she had no-one, all her friends & family were back in South Africa.

It got so bad. She lied & caused problems between me & some of my closest friends, my (small) family & 3 relationships. She lied & told my fiance at the time that I'd cheated on him with a male friend of mine (whom she hadn't even met), & another time, she slept with my boyfriend at the time whilst I was out of London for 2 weeks.

(There are now only 2 family members I still have contact with, which is probably because she never had the chance to meet &/or speak with them)

At one point I even lost a job because she would constantly ring my workplace & If I wasn't available to answer her call, she would keep the receptionist on the phone (blocking the line) for 40mins leaving a detailed message full of her bull$hit drama.

Some of my other friends said that they really didn't want it to come to this but they would have to distance themselves from me whilst I was still friends with her as they had tried to overlook all her compulsive lying, $hit stirring, backstabbing & constant drama but it was too much.

When I left London I decided to use that as a chance to end the friendship. At first she continued with her stupid behaviour. I then realised if she was still acting this way when I'm on the other side of the world, she will never change.

I sent her a long, honest & open email stating exactly why I no longer wanted to continue the friendship with some examples of how her behaviour had affected certain things in my life.

She never apologised or took responsibility for her behaviour.

She sent multiple nasty responses but I only read the first one, deleted them all, blocked her, & on FB & changed my number.

It's been the best 8 months of my life & straight away felt like a weight off my shoulders. Please learn from my experience & end your "friendship" before it gets worse.
I wish you the best of luck.

Last edited by TeeStar; 22nd July 2011 at 6:25 PM.. Reason: Reworded to make it more clear
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Old 24th July 2011, 11:39 PM   #4
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lol damn, talk about dealing with the devil's bitch
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Old 25th July 2011, 5:23 AM   #5
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Stories like these about "friends" amaze me. "With friends like these, who needs enemies?" and all that.

This isn't a friend. She's using your hurt to make herself feel better at your expense. So many friends to make in this world! Don't invest in this one anymore.
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"Be cheerful. Strive to be happy." - Max Ehrmann
The opposite of love is not hate; it's indifference. - Prof. Elie Wiesel
From a dumper's perspective & why I advocate NC.
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Old 30th July 2011, 5:47 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by little_bear View Post
I have a friend who I used to consider to be my best girlfriend but over the past year I feel like thats dwindling. A lot of the time it feels like she tries purposely to make me sad or hurt my feelings.

I had been dating this guy a long time ago who ended it and I was pretty upset. I actually overheard her tell him to stay away from me and when I confronted her about it, she lied to my face. Then a week or so later she was out with him and some of our other friends and she told me he told her they should hook up "because they would be really hot together". I honestly don't believe that actually happened.

A few months later I began seeing a man who she had introduced me to. After out first date (which went extremely well) I called her to tell her about it and she told me that the week before that, she had been IMing him and he told her he wanted to sleep with her.

She told me once she was going to sleep with my ex of 3 years right after we had broken up.

She tells my personal stuff to other people we know all the time and sometimes she just says really hurtful stuff to me and I'm not sure why she does it. I don't know how to deal with her or what to say when she says rude things to me.
She's jealous of you and feels in competition with you. That's not a good friend to have. They feel like they have to be one up on you for some reason. You'd be wise to drop a friend like that. They are not a friend, but a competitor. My older sister had a friend like that whom she has known since early childhood. Very competitive friend that would not only try to take away every boyfriend my sister ever had, but every boyfriend her sisters had as well. She had no respect for marriage either, and would try to take away other people's husbands as well. She would often say hurtful or insulting things because of this competitiveness she always felt. My sister finally dropped her as a friend when it became obvious that she was an enemy more than a friend.
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