I want 2B friends/but I dont & Guilt

[Poywoy]

I meet this girl at a friend's birthday..

 

the first time we caught up we hit the arcade - galactic circus - have a load of fun, walk her back to her car, kiss. all round a good night

 

so the second time we caught up was an accident.. she was going past and txted that she was in my area...

 

i'm like 'come by', she's like naa... she swings by anyway. i'm like third wheel while she talks to her best friend (danni). anyway, I invite them both up and she practically ignores me that whole evening. danni mind you, fills me in on everything they talk about and eventually starts paying me out about me not listening or something, in my own house LOL! mind you she was very thirsty for water, and I'd got her like 3 large glasses by the end of the night. anyhow we all go up to my room and danni makes some reference about how nel and me have been hooking up. i thought, aiight, 'time to go', kissed nel goodbye (yay! a goodbye kiss after ignoring me the whole time), and yeh..

 

so, this girl has a habit of being close straight after you see her, call her, or have sex with her, then distant for days to weeks after that. she also fits you into some fortnightly/3-weekly cycle of not catching up, but still apparently cares about your friendship. so I ask her why she doesn't txt me more, and she's like, 'i'm too busy' or 'i hardly txt anyone' and why she won't see me more, 'because i'm too busy'. so I questioned her about it... she plays the 'i don't know why you expect me to prioritise you over my other friends' card, then explains 'she hardly sees her other friends and has to fit them all in, sometime'. so yeh, she's busy, cool... but yeh, smart how you don't have time to send a 5-second-to-write txt msg. did I mention that not once has she replied to a txt in under 1 minute? she must spend ages thinking about how unaffectionate and unexciting she can make her txts before she hits send! her pb's also about 15 minutes ROFLMFAO!!!!!! this heavy 'gamer' also made some comment about not being able to call me cause she's capped at like $20 or some ****.. well don't be surprised when i don't call you either, honey... so anyway, this 'gaming ****' got me into txting mode (aka, that's most of what we all did), and eventually i was not only frustrated about the fact she only txted me at intervals, (aka, if the txt convo ends and I dont txt her she waits 3/4 days and then txts me), but by the fact that on one day we're having a happy little txting sesh, and the next day, she gives me cold blunt 1 word replies to end the convo. so I txt, 'get lost. i'm sick of you and your ****'.

 

now this is where it gets retarded..

 

she replies. ((like WTF? so you do care?!))

1. so wtf would you play games when they obviously frustrate the hell outta me?

2. I just txted probably the most fu'd up thing to you--> i'm probably a nasty man who you should never talk to again...))

 

so she starts swearing like 'wtf did i do?' 'how the #%$@ could you feel this way' #%$@ this #%$@ that #%$@ #%$@ #%$@ #%$@ing #%$@ #%$@... etc. (i deleted the txts, too much swearing and hate mail), but you get the picture....

 

I happen to be with a good mate of mine at the time, we'd just been at the driving range whacking a few balls, having a blast. She was actually lucky to get me at the time because had it not been for """"HIM"""!!! and HIM and HIM alone, I wouldn't have wasted the remaining weeks I ended up wasting with her. He said to me "I think this girl really likes you and is really affected by all this", so I being an absolute idiot, make ammends, say sorry.... and we're good, or so I thought...

 

Turned out the next week she played this same game back at me. so... I'm done with this **** right? I delete her number, remove her off facebook (again), and don't even bother to send another 'nasty' txt this time. well I get it in the ear again, '#%$@ #%$@ing mother #%$@ #%$@ #%$@....' oh... she cares? (LOL!)

so round two of (me) making amends comes to pass.. and I get in **** for at least a week for being such an arsehole... she was quite inconsolable, which makes me wonder why she'd go to the effort of having another rant when she could have just given up completely then and there, and left me in peace..

 

so the next few weeks pass by, seemingly we're on good terms, but I cbfed catching up, so I never organise one and cancel on the one time she does... well until I get over **** and she organises another catch up on the 21st for us both..

 

So the 21st was a dinner date.. and I suggest some cool things we could do to celebrate the end of her exams, (I'd cook dinner, play squash with her).

 

Turned out I cancelled on the dinner date because she never confirmed she'd eat with me. how strange of me, when last two times she didnt confirm she ate food in advance and ratted on dinner... in all credit to her, on one occasion she had a mouthful of the dinner (before being too full to finish din because she ate in advance). But wow, for this 3rd dinner date she first stated that she would, and then was all like 'i've gotta eat something before i come cause i'm going to be soooooo hungry', so i'm like' fair enough. good luck on exams if i dont hear from ya beforehand'.

 

she's like 'cya then'. it's literally 3 weeks away, and you're like 'cya then'.. again so glad you care about me as not to cause offense. so 3 days later, I get pissed off because 'cya then' is way too cool when the longest we aint talked has been like 1.5 weeks when i was grumpy, furthermore it looked like she was going to cancel again (misconstrued). so yeah... i got it in the arse for this one ROFLMFAO!!!!!!

 

I've tried to make amends 4/5 times over a month now and she's not buying it. We talked over the phone I let her vent, i let her vent over her txts... etc. now im sorta getting to the point at where i'm wondering why i feel guilty when every time we talk/txt she just vents at me, completely inconsoleable. and now I actually want to be friends, bc i've put up with this **** long enough that i want to see it through. I feel guilty for some really strange reason, and I kinda don't get why, that's seriously what I think the problem is. Just today, after sending another long nice txt yesterday (which she hasn't yet/may not reply to), I deleted her number from my phone, took a snap shot of her few remaining nasty txts (as evidence that I've done my best to rectify ****) and deleted her msges off my phone. Why can't I get over this girl? She's been nothing but a problem to me since the first night we had together, one night where she went walking with me in the cold and wind and another night where we had some fun at my house. She's obviously played me like a toy, and yet I can't not feel guilty about everything I've done, and wish that 'I didn't #%$@ things up', when the thing that caused me to #%$@ it all up was her games..

 

I have hooked up with and had DnMs with other girls since and that hasn't helped this feeling of guilt... This idea that I'm guilty is doing my head in, and making me depressed. I don't even know why I feel it. Pls help!

Edited June 29, 2011 by Poywoy
improved pgraphing

[davesoprano]

Either you're in love or in lust for this broad. If it's "love", than I feel sorry for you because this is definitely not the kind of person you wanna have a life with, let alone start having kids with. She's a mind fuc_k, the worst kind at that and she's the type of woman who craves attention from men and loves to frustrate men just to alleviate her own frustrations in the process.

 

The reason for her behavior could be either (1.) her ex boyfriend was a piece of **** (2.) her father was a piece of **** (3.) she grew up watching her mother treat her father like **** and so she thinks this is how women are supposed to act towards men, (4.) her mother or father or both parents treat her like ****, or (5.) her mother's a bitch and so she just happened to inherit that bitch trait from her mother (which is along the lines of reason number 3).

 

Like a fellow member on this board by the name of "susanfellows" pointed out, something like this falls along the lines of what is called "emotional leeching". She's feeding off your emotions and if it's love you have for this girl, than you're more entangled in her web than I thought.

 

If all you want from her is just sex, you should treat her like shi_t because from what I've learned, girls like this WANT to be treated like dirt, so if you're nice to them, they'll see it as a sign of weakness. They don't know the meaning of the word “good”.

 

If you do indeed love her, than cut her off because she will dagger your heart. The love feeling you have for her (assuming it's actually love you feel for her, hopefully not) will fade away as time goes by, might be a bit rough during the beginning of the withdrawal process but believe me you'll feel better eventually in terms of self respect, and you'll feel even much better the minute you get a REAL woman who has her head in the right place, because it's obvious this one has her head stuck so far up her ass that she can't get it out now.