Coworker Flirting and Friendship

[Bestest Friend]

I haven't done this before but I need someone to talk to and get advice on what to do. I have a very close friend at work and we are both in management. We are both married. We respect each other very much, in fact, I look up to him and his wife as a model couple because they have a very nice love story and they have been married for 31 years now. He is a very good looking man and the wife is equally pretty with a high position in a fortune 500 company. I created a "walking group" for the office in which about 10 people joined. This friend of mine joined the group. A few days after we started, I noticed how my friend looks at one of our co-workers butt and also her chest and all over her body while we are walking or waiting for the other members at the lobby. After noticing it several times, I told him that I noticed what he was doing and that it doesn't look good. He just gave me a grin and says I am just jealous and denied doing it. So, I stopped talking about it. However, one day, one of my guy staff who is also a part of the walking group told me what he had observed. He said that the way my friend look at this lady is so disturbing, he looks like a hungry dog who wants to eat fresh meat. He also said that he looks like a sex offender. I was appalled by these statements but I couldn't get mad at the person who said it because, it is true. I have witnessed it myself. My staff also told me that the lady knows about it and that she is really dressing up nicely and putting make up to impress him. This lady is married with 3 children. Without disrespect and with all honesty, the lady is probably 100 lbs in weight, less than 5 ft, with a lot of acne on her face, and very skinny. Her butt is not that all impressive but it is not bad. We have been observing that when we do the walk, this lady would dress up with almost like a party dress and wear high heels which is very unusual for walking. She also dresses with her cleavage showing which is of course not at all seen because she has a flat breast but she wants to show it anyway. My friend appears very happy about it and it looks like he is not even aware that all of us are there and continued to look at her with lust and obsession. I couldn't take it anymore and being the person who organize the walking group, I emailed everyone giving an excuse that I cannot walk with them anymore as I am busy. I also talked to my friend and told him what my staff and another person from another office had told me. He denied ever doing it. I told him there are more than 3 people who observed it, these people can't all be lying. I was also told that when I wasn't in the walk, the two of them would walk at the exit stairways and not on the main stairways of the building. I told my friend all what the people told me. These people who are lower level staff are laughing in wonder as to how in the world he got obsessed with this lady. Aside from her appearance, she also has a low IQ. She is an encoding clerk but is only 38 years old. My friend is 55 years old and married to a beautiful woman with a high corporate position. I called my friend to my office and talked to him like he was called in the principal's office. I told him that what he was doing is an embarrassment to his wife. I told him that if I am his wife and I knew that he is obsessed with this woman, I will be very insulted. I also told him that if I am his wife, I'd rather know that he is obsessed with someone who has more qualification or more beautiful than I am but not this kind, as this shows he has no class, no standard, and has no taste. I told him that I do not want to join the walk anymore because I don't want to lie when people ask me if I have seen or observed what he is doing. It's better for me not to see it so I can tell people asking me " I don't know and I am not walking with them anymore".

 

 

He finally admitted that he made a mistake but that he doesn't really have any obsession with her. He said he is just impressed with her posture, which to me is just a big lie. I told him he reminds me of Arnold Swarzeneger.

 

Anyway, the walking group stopped. The people now tells me that they always go to the restroom or to get water to drink at the same time. They said that more than two coincidences is not coincidence anymore. Today, I tried to catch them myself as I don't want to just believe what other people say. At around 4 pm, i stood by a place where I can see the restrooms - left side for ladies and right side for men's. The lady went out to go to the restroom, after a while, he followed. He did not really go to the men's restroom but he was standing at the lobby and constantly looking at the ladies room. I was so pissed to find out that what the people were telling me are true. I was still giving him the benefit of the doubt and believe in him because he is my friend. When the lady got out of the restroom, I proceeded to let them know that I saw them. I signaled thumbs up to him and said I gotcha. I emailed him with disgust telling him that I have just proven what the people had told me with my very own eyes. I emailed him that I will not disturb him anymore, I have warned him but he ignores it. I know now what makes him happy and whatever makes him happy makes us happy too.

 

I plan not to talk to him anymore except when it's official business. Am I being to harsh on my friend or am I right in my decision. I don't want to lose this friendship but I don't want to be a witness to the buying and selling that the two of them are doing. I think nothing has gone too far except for the flirting but who knows.

 

Should I stop being his friend? Please advise.

[SpiralOut]

A friend is someone that you look at with respect. Like with any relationship, if there is no respect in the friendship then you haven't got a very good friendship.

[Bestest Friend]

Hi Spiral Out,

 

At this point, I really feel that I lost my respect for him. It's not worth then to continue the friendship.

 

Thanks a lot.

 

 

 

 

QUOTE=SpiralOut;3458507]A friend is someone that you look at with respect. Like with any relationship, if there is no respect in the friendship then you haven't got a very good friendship.