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A guy thing?


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Old 12th June 2011, 2:45 PM   #1
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A guy thing?

Hey all, this may be a little silly but I've been wondering about something. My boyfriend and I have been living together for quite some time and most people consider us to be like a married couple. We are 30 and most of his close guys friends are around the same age. What I'm wondering about is the fact that they still have guy sleepovers (or as he puts "crashing at his buddy's). I wouldn't think anything of it but they do this very often. At least every couple weeks and sometimes for two nights in a row! One of his friends is married (no kids) and the others are in long term relationships. The friend who's house they stay at is only 10 minutes away from our apartment so it's not like it's a long commute. I know they drink when they are together but isn't it a little immature at their age to still be binge drinking so often? I'm not sure that this is normal for 30 year old guys or maybe it is and I'm just out of the loop or something.

I should add that these guys are otherwise pretty responsible and are generally good guys. And I'm glad they aren't drinking and driving but what's wrong with having a few drinks without getting wasted, watching a game, and then coming home?
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Old 12th June 2011, 11:43 PM   #2
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Uh yeah.

I'm in my late 40s, but 30 wasn't that long ago. I was a single professional at 30, had a great girlfriend and killer job. Livin the life. However, I never did guy sleep-overs. I've heard of some doin it in their 20s or younger.

I suspect something else. Are they using drugs too? Are there any women involved? Do you think he might be gambling or hitting a strip club or something else? Not trying to scare you or plant ideas in your head, but at his age he should be paying more attention to you. If he's doing this once or twice a year, probably okay. Well, maybe. I wouldn't have done it.

But to be doing it every few weeks is a little unusual. Ask your girlfriends if their guys do it.
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Old 19th June 2011, 12:47 AM   #3
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Originally Posted by Just A Joe View Post
I'm in my late 40s, but 30 wasn't that long ago. I was a single professional at 30, had a great girlfriend and killer job. Livin the life. However, I never did guy sleep-overs. I've heard of some doin it in their 20s or younger.
Thank you!! That's just the point I try to get across to him but he doesn't seem to think it's immature to still being doing that at his age. I think he's still stuck in his college days. As far as drugs or anything sketchy like that, I know he has no interest and wouldn't be dishonest about it. Plus I can tell when he is lying
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Old 19th June 2011, 8:43 AM   #4
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Hey Spotless,
You and I are about the same age, and I also live with my boyfriend. In the two years we're been living together he has never once been to a "guy sleepover." He goes out with his friends and then comes home at the end of the night.
It doesn't sound to me like there's anything shady going on in your situation though. I think you're right, it sounds more like he still feels like he's in college. Maybe he's being just a tad immature and doesn't want to give up that last vestige of "youth." Though what's so great about spending the night on someone's couch I have no idea.
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Old 19th June 2011, 8:56 AM   #5
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Have you tried talking to him about it?
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Old 21st June 2011, 1:47 PM   #6
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so you would rather they drink and drive?
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Old 25th June 2011, 4:01 PM   #7
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Finch - You're right, sleeping on someone's couch is definitely not my idea of fun. But I'm not a sleepover type of person. I like being able to sleep in my own bed. Also, I just realized that my boyfriend won't stay the night at my parent's house with me when we visit home, he would rather drive to his parent's house which is 15 minutes away from my parent's house. Jeez, maybe I snore and don't know it

jh2586 and coolsean2011 - I've mentioned that I think it's immature but we haven't had a serious talk about it. Right now it's just something that I find annoying but if it keeps up or gets worse, I will have a more serious conversation with him about it.

laRubiaBonita - I would never, ever want him or anyone to drive drunk and I'm glad that he has the good sense not to. That's why I don't put up a fight when he goes to his friend's house. What I would like is for him to be able to have a few beers while watching a game without getting wasted so that he would be able to drive home at the end of the night.
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Old 25th June 2011, 4:11 PM   #8
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If they call it a "guy sleep-over" than they must have grown up at the Never Land Ranch. That's the gheyest term I've ever heard. I've spent a few nights at my friend's place during my 30's but it was definitely about being hammered and having to drive a long way. And we were both unattached during those times. I never stayed at a guy's house when in a relationship. It wouldn't occur in a million years. Friends drop off the radar when you get involved. That's my experience anyway. But to call it a "guy sleep-over"?--you-hoo, foo-foo.
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Old 25th June 2011, 4:24 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by Feelin Frisky View Post
If they call it a "guy sleep-over" than they must have grown up at the Never Land Ranch.
Haha. That's what I call it to poke fun. He calls it "crashing at his buddy's."
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Old 27th June 2011, 10:25 AM   #10
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I don't think it's strange that they all crash at one place, especially after drinking. I used to live with two of my good friends in a three bedroom apartment so it wouldn't be weird to me.

What is weird is the frequency and length of time that they spend having these sleepovers...I could see a couple times a year but every few weeks? I don't get it...
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