Sniper Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 I have a friend who leads me on alot and sends me the weirdest signals ever and i don't understand if she wants to be with me or not. I do want to be with her but i don't want to make that move and find out she isn't interested in me and ruin our 8 year friendship. She always tells me i will fall in love with her and saying things like we should be bed buddies so we can be experienced and saying stuff like we are going to end up like 13 going on 13 (film) I do want to be with her but i don't want to ruin our friendship. I know the kind of guys she likes and what she wants in a man, do you think it would be wrong if i were to become that person, even tho Im not that kind of person. Like put up a front to make her fall for me? Is that a bad thing to do? I tell her i don't like her and i would never go for her but its all just an act because i don't want to seem desperate for her but i really am. She is the kind of person i want to be with for the rest of my life. Any input would be great, thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 Do not change who you are. If you do, it's a lie and eventually you won't like who you are. If she wants you, she has to accept you for who you are! She is gving mixed signals because she can. It's safe with you and she feels comfortable knowing that you aren't going to make a move on her. Saying stuff is one thing, but doing it is another. Has she give you any other signs? Looks/long stares? Sexually charged energy between you two? She's flirty and having fun, it's an ego thing. So it seems.. I wouldn't tell her how you feel until you watch her and look for other reasons that she may be into you as well. Her saying the above isn't enough for me to tell you to go for it! Not now anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
NoMagicBullet Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 I agree with whichwayisup that you shouldn't change who you are, but I'm not so sure it's only an ego thing for her. Given what you've described, I'd say there are two major possibilities: 1) She's very interested in you. 2) She's a manipulative jerk and toying with you. She doesn't sound very mature, so I'm leaning toward #1, because #2 usually requires a greater deal of sophistication & experience to pull off. You've told us what she says, but what does she do? Does she do lots of thoughtful things for you? Does she pay attention to what's going on with you in your life? Do she seem concerned when you're feeling down? Does she choose your company over that of her other friends? If the answer is "yes" more than "no" to these questions, she's likely very interested in you. You haven't mentioned ages, but you both seem to be young and uncertain of how to move things forward. I suspect both of you want to be certain of the other's feelings before making a move. Problem is, you could miss out on something good if you keep doing this dance around each other. If you keep telling her you don't like her and would never go for her, eventually, she'll start to believe it (unless she's delusional). Doing that isn't going to serve you well. Be brave, and ask her out. There's nothing desperate about asking someone for a date. In fact, the next time she starts again about you two being together, say this: "Okay, I'm calling your bluff. We're going on a date. And we'll see if this really works or not." If she's not really interested, she'll be hesitant to go or she'll refuse. If she seems enthusiastic, consider it a good sign. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
crazyd Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 First off, DON'T change who you are. From personal experience, people can read through that disguise ten miles away. It sounds like she could very well be interested in you, but I agree with whichway and keep an eye open for signals she may give. That said, I was in a similar situation with my best friend in college. It seemed there was something there between us, but having a talk with her one day kinda killed that. However, we remain very good friends to this day. The moral is if you make the move to see if she's interested in you beyond friendship, and it's a no, it doesn't mean your friendship will be over. Continue to see how things unfold and go with it. Link to post Share on other sites
DreamerGirl27 Posted July 1, 2011 Share Posted July 1, 2011 Dude, I hope what you're thinking is what the guy I like is thinking and if you like her, go for it. Why do guys get so scared of commitment? Link to post Share on other sites
DreamerGirl27 Posted July 1, 2011 Share Posted July 1, 2011 Let me ask you a sincere question. You're putting on an act that you don't like her. Isn't that already not being yourself? If she likes you, she probably likes you for YOU. You don't have to change. but please...stop playing games. Link to post Share on other sites
Twerverry Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 Thanks for the great information. Anyone looking to buy backlinks should checkout these guys. Link to post Share on other sites
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