hellon Posted April 19, 2011 Share Posted April 19, 2011 So, I need any advice I can get on this one. One of my best friends happens to be a guy. We dated when we first met for a couple of months, but that's old news. He's now been dating someone for a few months, who I have yet to meet... This girl is apparently jealous of every female in his life, and is bugging out that she hasn't met me. He has now started to avoid my texts and calls, and refuses to hang out until I meet her at least once. He thinks that will solve everything. I'm not entirely against it, but the problem is: a) He and I talk all the time, but rarely see each other, and when we do, it's always been one-on-one. b) I'm currently going through a bad break up, which is what landed me on here in the first place. It is exhausting to try to be social, especially with new people. But I also need my friends. Am I just being selfish? Should I just suck it up, and meet her? I miss my friend, but will that really solve anything? Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 What you should really do, is determine, as he sees it... whether he would prefer to be dating and banging you, to this new girlfriend. If the answer is yes, then either bring that about if you want to, or stay well clear of their relationship. If you truly have as much interest in dating him as he obviously does in dating you, then he's yours for the taking. If you have little or no remaining interest in dating him, then just avoid him... because to date you is probably what he wants underneath it all. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hellon Posted April 20, 2011 Author Share Posted April 20, 2011 Oh yeah, definitely not trying to bang him. And I don't think he's into me that way, anymore. Been there, done that... I'd be happy to steer clear of their relationship, but he's basically insisting that I hang out with his gf, or don't get to be friends with him... it's weird. Link to post Share on other sites
mikkyedward82 Posted April 23, 2011 Share Posted April 23, 2011 If you truly have as much interest in dating him as he obviously does in dating you, then he's yours for the taking. Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted April 23, 2011 Share Posted April 23, 2011 The best way to get over a break up is to not let heartbreak rule your life. Go out and socialize. Meet this girl. All comes to worse, it'll be an awkward night with your friend and his new girlfriend. The best case scenario is that you'll all have a good time. Either way, you'll think about something other than your break up for awhile. If you are an important part of his life, his request that you meet his gf seems reasonable to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Baroness67 Posted April 23, 2011 Share Posted April 23, 2011 I believe this is just one of those situations where friendships have a natural ebb and flow. If you have an interest in maintaining the friendship with your guy friend, make an effort to meet the new girl. If it works out, great. If it doesn't work out, and the romance with the new girl is more important than your friendship, that's just the way it goes. Relationships rarely stay the same over time, friendships serve certain purposes at certain times in our life, and then our lives change and our needs are different. I'm sure the friendship with your guy friend would not mean as much if you were currently in a relationship yourself. Just go with it, be friendly, be as social as you can, and understand nothing is ever meant to stay the same forever. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hellon Posted April 24, 2011 Author Share Posted April 24, 2011 Thanks all. When I was still in a relationship, I made an effort to see this friend as much as I did when I wasn't. But then again, my ex wasn't jealous and controlling... He's said repeatedly that he didn't want to lose his friends to this girl, but that's exactly what he's doing. I've tried to chat him up a couple of times lately, and have gotten "Hey sorry busy talk to you later" every time (with no actual talking later). So, while I'm getting to the point where I feel a little more comfortable socializing and would be willing to meet this girl, it's probably not going to happen since he won't even talk to me. He knows what I'm going through right now, and he knows I need my friends- the fact that he's deliberately not being there, sort of indicates to me that he isn't really one. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hellon Posted May 2, 2011 Author Share Posted May 2, 2011 After about 3 weeks of not talking, he messaged me on IM yesterday. When I sarcastically said "Oh hey, didn't think I was allowed to talk to you anymore" he responded with "ah man, you know how it is..." Actually, no. No I do not "know how it is." Today I unfriended him on the all important facebook. A little petty and childish maybe, but kind of satisfying all the same. I just hope he doesn't expect me to be there for him, when things with this girl don't work out. Link to post Share on other sites
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