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Am I A Bad Friend???


autumnlover

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OK..i think this is weird but i am gonna ask anyway to just get feedback. I have been freind with this gilr for like 11 years and the other day she told me she didnt want to be my friend because my fiance doesnt give me enough money in a week to take her out to dinner and out shopping everyday...i dont have a job so my source of income is by my fiance and i dont ask for it or expect it..he gives me money so i can have gas to go on iunterviews. I mean..am i the crazy one or what.

 

What do you think???

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my fiance doesnt give me enough money in a week to take her out to dinner and out shopping everyday..

 

she wants your man to take her out and shop for her. That's crazy.

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Sorry did you say she was your FRIEND??? Gees if that’s how your friends treat you, I’m worried as to how your enemies treat you!!!

 

Ditch the chick! She’d be no friend of mine! Tell her to take HERSELF out and buy herself dinner, without you!

 

Spend time with people who love you for you, not for your materialistic means!!!

WOW, can’t believe she had the balls to say that too you!

:bunny:

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i think she has a thing for my fiance. I mean, she was forever telling em that he was fo sexy and all that. Then i siad yo, this isnt cool that you are telling me this and saying how you want to get with him. now one thing that i didnt mention is that she has issues. When she was a baby, she got whooping cough and it went to her brain and damaged it. She can still do things for herself and she isnt handicapped. But i just feel like she uses it against me when she acts like this. I am a firm believer that if you have complete control of your actions. I am speaking about her issue. I know some people cant. But she can. She has proven it over and over. I just dont understand what her problem is.

 

SHe is so angry at me for getting married. She said that once i get married, i am going to ruin our friendship. What is that supposed to mean. I love my fiance with all my heart and i cant understand why she cant be happy for me. Her boyfriend recently broke up with her, they were dating for 5 years. I can understand if that was the case but this conversation took place long before her b/f broke up with her. I dont get it.

 

I think one thing that buggs me the most is she manipulates the present to get what she wants. Like her mom, she says, if i have to work, then i will kill myself and her mom wont make her get a job. all her bills are paid and she gets money from her parents on a weekly basis. I dont understand that is she has all her bills paid for and she gets money, why does she need me to take her out. HEr idea of "hanging" out is me picking her up and taking he where ever she wants to go and buying her anything she wants and smiling from ear to ear while she basks in her glory. Sorry, i am a nice person but i cant take myself out.

 

I am so mad at her for everyhting that she has done, i really want to go there and just smack her across the face and then laugh at her. it seems rude but i am SO MAD.

 

I am kind glad she doesnt want to be freinds with me right now because i know she will call me sooner or later and say sorry and what not and this time, i will say well you wanted this and you have it and i dont want it anymore and tell her to go EFF herself and let her see what it feels like. Am i worng for wanting to do that or is it normal

 

**AUTUMN**

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NORMAL! Some people just grow apart! Don't worry about it! Perhaps once she has lost you she will realise what a fool she has been!

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No need to get mean about it.. just let her go! Two wrong don’t make a right! Just cos she treated you with disrespect no need to do it in return. Just be polite and not stoop to her level of behaviour, otherwise you are as bad as she!

:bunny:

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VASH THE STAMPEDE

Does this girl have a real life??She is stupid for breaking her friendship with you over jealousy.

Why are you gonna act childish and do the same to her??

What I see here is failure to see that you have rid your self of problems.

If she calls why tell her to go fuc* her self?

Just let her know she made a horrible mistake and your no going to go thru it again and you won't be her friend,that right there should do some emotional damage.

She is jealous of you ,that all.

You should be the better one in this outcome,for Pete's sake she's retarded.

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for Pete's sake she's retarded

 

I am sorry I didn’t get she was retarded… we’ll perhaps you should try to reason with her, and help her understand. Whoops….

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Well, I wuldnt call her retarted at all. Yes she has brain damage but she just found out anout it. She has gone through life ok before this happened. And me telling her to eff off, well maybe is strong thing to say but this isnt the fisrt time this has happened. Yes, i have let it happen and i take total blame and complete responsibility. It is just the fact that she does this for attention.SHe likes the drama and that, i cant deal with. The last time this happened, she claimed that i didnt spend enough time with her. Well she said, you never drive to come over here and you never do this. She has a car and she drives so why cant she come here to my house and pick me up??? I explained to her that i am a busy person. I am planning a wedding that is going to take place in less than a year, i am trying to find a job and i have other other responsibilities to do as an adult. I explained everything to her and i wasnt mean to her and i was very kind about it. We sat down and she said, ok EMily, i am sorry and i understand that you are busy. NOW..i am not too busy for friends but the times she wants to hang out i cant. The times where i am free and i call her, she is having a bad day, or she is depressed or she doesnt want to get out of bed..always an excuse. She gets mad at me because i find a good job with good money and she hates it. SHe hates the fact that i am pretty(as she puts it) I have the perfect hair, the perfect face, the perfect eyes, the perfect makeup and so on. SHe said i have the perfect life and the perfect boyfriend. But i dont have a perfect boyfreind and i dont have the perfect life by far. right now, i am mad at her and i cant wait to talk to her....i really should take a breath and calm down but this is something that really makes my blood boil and i am a pretty calm person. i roll with the punches.

 

AM i really a bad person for thinking this???

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Sounds like she's more of an opportunist than a friend. I'd be grateful she saved you the trouble by announcing the end of the pseudo-friendship. Sounds like a lot of trouble and stress you'd be better off without.

 

If she calls later to apologize, I'd thank her for taking the time while encouraging her to finish what she started. Let that door close then lock it behind you!

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Sounds like she wanted your man. There's a strange dynamic that sometimes happens between two good friends (and I can't help but notice that it happens a lot with women, though not exclusively). Sometimes, friends get very competitive, the way that siblings do. They compete for attention and recognition, and when one falls short, it can leave one of the friends inept. Some are able to patch it over and move on, but others can't. I think your friend needs to see a shrink.

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VASH THE STAMPEDE
Originally posted by amerikajin

Sounds like she wanted your man.

Thats why she was jealous.

I agree with amerikajin

 

I think your friend needs to see a shrink.

EX-FRIEND :p

Also agree with her seeing a psychiatrist.

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Well here is an update...My old freind called me yesterday and told me she got into an accident and that my aunt helped her at the scene. I really dont know why she called to tell me that. My aunt us an EMT so she was called out to the accident. Anyway, i was on my way to get my engagment pictures and i was going to the salon to get my hair, makeup and nails done. I asked her if i could call her later. I called her back and she was starting to say something like" well maybe next time we go out.." and i said...you know what, i dont know how to say something like this so i am just going to say it and i told her that i was getting tired of her wanting to be my friend and then hating me and going back and forth at least once every 2 months..i KINDLY said that i didnt want to talk to her and that i was tired of it and that i was severing all ties with her. SHe started to cry and i kinda felt bad that i "kicked" her again when she was already down but it had to be done. It was a now or never thing at that point. SO i havent heard anything from her ever since. So it is FINALLY over and i am ok with that. Thanks again for all your support..i finally did it and i did it in a nice way. THANKS AGAIN!!!

 

AUtumn

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