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Women who say "I have so much more in common with men"


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Old 9th April 2011, 2:09 AM   #1
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Women who say "I have so much more in common with men"

I don't get it. I cannot make or keep male friends to save my life. All my close friends are females. They all respond better to me as well.

Women, do we not all sit to pee?

I mean, seriously? What more could you have in common with a person than that?

We all have the same anatomy and none of us are out to get in your pants.

I have never been able to keep many male friends, probably for a big fat obvious reason that...I'm not a man. I'm a woman. Women are comfortable with me approaching them and vice versa. Men aren't. Unless it's to bring them home.

I don't get it.
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Old 9th April 2011, 2:54 AM   #2
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It is very simple. Men want sex. Men don't want games. You want games. You don't want sex.
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Old 9th April 2011, 1:04 PM   #3
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I think that a lot of women "Have much more in common with men" because of the stereotype that women are all frenemies - that is, they're all nice to each other until a good-looking man comes along, and then they're tearing each others' throats out. That may well be true of some young teenage girls (even young twenty-something girls). When I was younger, I did have better relationships with men - if only because you had to watch your back with some girls in high school.

One of my supposed best friends was trying to sabotage me - because she found out I had asked a guy to Prom that she wanted as her date. But hey, that's high school for you and I think that most girls eventually outgrow that as they mature and become more self-confident.

My most rewarding friendships are now with other women - granted, some of them are in the LGBT community, so it's not like we're clawing out each other's eyes for men. They understand my feelings about different issues, we're able to laugh, we're able to express emotions with each other - and with most men I've met that's just not so.

I've met far more men who disguise their low self-esteem with arrogant bravado and they put you down to make themselves feel better. Or I've met men who are so emotionally closed off that they may as well be rocks.

Advice to men everywhere: cry in front of me every once in a while. Really, it's okay. I think it's a sign of maturity and boldness when you're able to let your guard down like that in front of a female friend or girlfriend. I don't want anyone crying all of the time, but I don't like to be around stones, either.

And share your feelings more often. Really, it makes you attractive and more bone-able. I like to know what you're thinking.
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Old 10th April 2011, 1:22 AM   #4
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I think that a lot of women "Have much more in common with men" because of the stereotype that women are all frenemies - that is, they're all nice to each other until a good-looking man comes along, and then they're tearing each others' throats out. That may well be true of some young teenage girls (even young twenty-something girls). When I was younger, I did have better relationships with men - if only because you had to watch your back with some girls in high school.

One of my supposed best friends was trying to sabotage me - because she found out I had asked a guy to Prom that she wanted as her date. But hey, that's high school for you and I think that most girls eventually outgrow that as they mature and become more self-confident.

My most rewarding friendships are now with other women - granted, some of them are in the LGBT community, so it's not like we're clawing out each other's eyes for men. They understand my feelings about different issues, we're able to laugh, we're able to express emotions with each other - and with most men I've met that's just not so.

I've met far more men who disguise their low self-esteem with arrogant bravado and they put you down to make themselves feel better. Or I've met men who are so emotionally closed off that they may as well be rocks.

Advice to men everywhere: cry in front of me every once in a while. Really, it's okay. I think it's a sign of maturity and boldness when you're able to let your guard down like that in front of a female friend or girlfriend. I don't want anyone crying all of the time, but I don't like to be around stones, either.

And share your feelings more often. Really, it makes you attractive and more bone-able. I like to know what you're thinking.
That is true. Women can be very catty.

I usually don't like the same men my friends like, though. I'm very picky and they aren't.
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Old 10th April 2011, 8:04 AM   #5
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I don't like to say I have a lot more in common with men, but I can get along with them very well and usually I feel more comfortable meeting met than I do women.

I like sports, I love football. I love video games too. So it's just that I can usually get into a conversation with a man a lot easier than a woman just from chatting away about last weeks game or something.

Sometimes I feel like a woman it too quick to judge me when meeting. I don't wear makeup I'm not all 'girly'. I feel that I'm not judged by a man when I talk to one, they're just ready to talk where as a woman is thinking 'what is she wearing?' 'what does she look like?'. Obviously huge generalization there but you get the jist of it.
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Old 10th April 2011, 9:22 AM   #6
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No matter what the sex people are still sizing each other up. It is just that a guy is taught to be nicer to girls when he was very young and he'll want to anyways because there might be some degree of attraction.
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Old 10th April 2011, 10:56 AM   #7
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I am one of these girls that has mostly guy friends. I talked to someone about it and one person said something that stuck out to me. "Girls that don't have girlfriends are b****es. They just don't want someone to call them on it." While it's a little extreme it has ribbons of truth. There is literally no incentive for a girl to be friends with another girl except genuinely liking her, and accepting her. There might be something standoffish or off-putting about you that you haven't really looked into. Because it's not exactly fun to look inward sometimes, but instead make generalizations about why the girls are "bitchy", or "don't get you". Instead one will disassociate from wanting girlfriends altogether and find a bunch of dudes that either don't care to say anything or are up your bum trying to be with you and def won't say anything. I'm trying to be more open to the fact that its more plausible that it is my vibes more than anything else and need to get over my fear of true rejection. My 2 cents!
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Old 10th April 2011, 10:57 AM   #8
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I have more male friends than female friends. I used to think it's because I'm more "flirty" by nature, I always laugh at jokes, kid around, etc. My husband noticed that I get along with men better than women, too.

For me, it's the whole backstabbing, trust thing. With my male friends, they don't expect me to tell them every dirty little secret. My male friends come to me for advice about their love lives, issues with family or friends that are pissing them off, etc. They use me as sort of a shoulder to lean on when they need it, and are there to support me when I think everything is falling apart. Sometimes, this can lead to problems, the guy not wanting to "stay in the friend-zone" but most of the time my male friends are in committed long term relationships.

Personally, for me I think it's because I'm very tomboy-ish. I'm a gamer, that automatically scores points for me lol. But I think it's because I DO tend to have more in common with men, similar interests, etc.

Honestly, I hate it. I wish I had more female friends. Early on in life, I was more adventurous and the thought of a shopping spree or going out for drinks with just the girls was never high on my list of priorities. I've always been more active, so the guys that could keep up with me were the ones I hung out with. Now, as I have gotten older, I WISH I had more female friends. I have two or three friends, and only one of them I would consider to be my BEST friend. I even feel awkward doing a girls night out thing with my sister in laws.

I know, the grass is always greener on the other side. It just hasn't been all you would think it would have been.
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Old 12th April 2011, 10:44 PM   #9
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I am one of these girls that has mostly guy friends. I talked to someone about it and one person said something that stuck out to me. "Girls that don't have girlfriends are b****es. They just don't want someone to call them on it." While it's a little extreme it has ribbons of truth. There is literally no incentive for a girl to be friends with another girl except genuinely liking her, and accepting her. There might be something standoffish or off-putting about you that you haven't really looked into. Because it's not exactly fun to look inward sometimes, but instead make generalizations about why the girls are "bitchy", or "don't get you". Instead one will disassociate from wanting girlfriends altogether and find a bunch of dudes that either don't care to say anything or are up your bum trying to be with you and def won't say anything. I'm trying to be more open to the fact that its more plausible that it is my vibes more than anything else and need to get over my fear of true rejection. My 2 cents!
I guess I genuinely like and accept a lot of girls then.
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Old 12th April 2011, 11:59 PM   #10
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Twas towards the end of my 30's hitting into the 40's where I sincerely Stopped the gender race and got into the human race. I recognize and accept gender but its not my reasoning for befriending someone. At some point as a person you decide, Are they worthy of friendship and is it within my ability (nature) to accept that friendship. Oddly I have a mixture of friends based on interests we share, commonalities and sometimes the far challenging ever so different perspective they may maintain. I have friends that range from late 20's all the way up to the 70's range. Some are mentors, some are inspirational, some simply are down to earth and filled with wonderment. Yet its rare that I get into the "men vs women" mentality. Its just not worth it. Go beyond that and maybe you'll get to enjoy people for who they are and not what is chromozone (SP?) driven.

I do have a grave aversion for attributes of cattyness or machoism. Which can be seen in either gender.....young and old. THat is where worthiness comes into play. Is your time worth it to invest in someone who rubs you the wrong way? Doubtful.
Now someone who challenges is entirely a growing experience
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Old 13th April 2011, 12:09 PM   #11
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Twas towards the end of my 30's hitting into the 40's where I sincerely Stopped the gender race and got into the human race. I recognize and accept gender but its not my reasoning for befriending someone. At some point as a person you decide, Are they worthy of friendship and is it within my ability (nature) to accept that friendship. Oddly I have a mixture of friends based on interests we share, commonalities and sometimes the far challenging ever so different perspective they may maintain. I have friends that range from late 20's all the way up to the 70's range. Some are mentors, some are inspirational, some simply are down to earth and filled with wonderment. Yet its rare that I get into the "men vs women" mentality. Its just not worth it. Go beyond that and maybe you'll get to enjoy people for who they are and not what is chromozone (SP?) driven.

I do have a grave aversion for attributes of cattyness or machoism. Which can be seen in either gender.....young and old. THat is where worthiness comes into play. Is your time worth it to invest in someone who rubs you the wrong way? Doubtful.
Now someone who challenges is entirely a growing experience
agree. also came to that conclusion in my 30s. just posted the same thing in another thread but i think part of it is still sexuality based. when that sexual peak of the teens/20s was over, i not only wasn't motivated to only be around women for the possible sexual payoff, but i was actively put off by it. i'm not willing to ignore mental differences anymore, and if i find someone who has the mental compatibility but who isn't available, i'm more receptive to the friendship thing.
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Old 13th April 2011, 1:41 PM   #12
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Never trust a woman that states she doesn't get along with other females and relates better to men.
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Old 13th April 2011, 1:48 PM   #13
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Never trust a woman that states she doesn't get along with other females and relates better to men.
Of course but don't trust a woman with plenty of female friends either.
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Old 13th April 2011, 1:56 PM   #14
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Never trust a woman that states she doesn't get along with other females and relates better to men.
Yup. Extremists of any kind are concerning.

As a generalization, I've noticed that women who don't like other women lean towards being highly competitive with other women.

As far as having male friends, if you share interests with men, a friendship can blossom. Just don't expect them to be like women, becoming emotional tampons or validators. Instead of using emotive language and being all over the map emotionally, try being objective, consistent and discussing objective topics of interest in a person-to-person way.

Most guys don't enjoy drama from their friends.
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Old 13th April 2011, 2:20 PM   #15
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I'm one of those women who gets along with men much more easily than women. I have a few reasons why but I know how it started for me.

My mother is a psychopath (seriously) so I stuck around my dad growing up. Also, he's an auto mechanic and when I'd have some time off from school, I'd spend the whole day watching him do brake jobs and working on cars, hang out with his boss and see how they interacted with customers all day (and each other).

To this day I know more about working on cars and trucks than most women and also most men. I've always had an interest in it. I own my own business and we're in the auto industry to top things off so when it comes to conversations that come easy to me, men are a piece of cake for me to talk to. I just don't relate to most women because their priorities are COMPLETELY different than mine.

I can talk all day about blue collar work, cars and trucks, how to tune the carb on a Harley, how to run a successful business...get my hands dirty without thinking twice and just have next to nothing to say to women. Every time I open my mouth about something I'm dealing with or know a lot about, they look at me blankly!

Somehow, despite having a personality like the one I have, I'm one of the most feminine women I've ever known. I love having tons of pairs of shoes, always have my nails done, nice clothes and nice long hair. Being that I had no relationship with my mother...I have no idea how I stayed so feminine.

Because of the way I grew up and the people I deal with on a daily basis (men), I'm used to people who aren't afraid of anything, full of confidence, don't whine and cry about little things and are very tough. It's hard for me to...get involved with gossip or go on and on about hair and nails and the women I have run into have had a tendency to complain about simple little things in life. All I can do is roll my eyes and wish I were somewhere else! Like...at work where no one is complaining?

I'm most comfortable being around hard working people. I'm not the only hard working woman on the planet but I just haven't run into any I relate to.

To me, gossip and backstabbing and catty behavior is such a big fat waste of time that I walk away from it and can't stand it for a second. There are better things to do.
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