Why can I never find anyone to do anything meaningful with?

[NotKelly]

I've had this problem since I was a kid. I would be hanging out with my friends and all they wanted to do was sit around and talk or play with their Barbies, while I wanted to do creative stuff like put on plays and skits, and invent games and other things. Nobody ever wanted to do these things with me and I would get so frustrated that I would just spend more time by myself.

 

This is the part of the story where I'm supposed to say, "And THEN I went to college and met all kinds of cool people and did lots of cool things." Nope, that never happened either. Whenever I suggested more ambitious things than just hanging out on the weekends or bar hopping, all I got was blank looks.

 

You'd think at my age I'd be over this by now, but I'm so frustrated again. I just keep falling in with people who seem like they want to do things, but then they just wimp out and don't want to dream bigger. I constantly feel like I'm talking to a brick wall when I suggest things and I can't stand it any more. Nobody likes to plan out long term projects (nothing grandiose, just things that take the long term view) and I feel sick thinking about all the missed opportunities for good things that could be done. But I can't do them alone.

 

Why are so many people so ****ing boring?

[turt]

I've noticed the same thing. It seems that it gets worse with age.

[Hibou]

I'm with you! I am bored to tears unless I'm out doing something creative or ridiculous. I always want to go to an open-mic night or to try a new kind of food, and everyone else just wants to eat at Applebee's and play a board game. Eff. Kill me now. I have ADD, so I guess I just have a tendency to be under-stimulated.

 

I LOVE making up a character, using an accent, and going out to try and meet people as "Svetlana". I have one friend that does that kind of nonsense with me, but he doesn't live here. Where can I find such people?

[Eeyore79]

There are such people out there, but you have to go and find them. When you were a kid you were pretty much stuck with the kids who lived nearby, but now you're an adult you can be friends with whoever you want. If you want to put on plays etc, a good place to start would be joining a drama group where there'd be loads of like minded people. But you have to go and do it for yourself; people with shared interests won't just turn up and knock at your front door!

[january2011]

Try the Meetup website, search for volunteer groups and plugging [your interest/hobby]+[your location] into a Google search should bring up some potential organisations.

 

In my experience, people seem to be getting flakier and flakier. Sometimes you just have to go out and do your own thing anyway - if they join you, then great, but you can still have fun doing things yourself. You can always chat to the people sitting next to you at a performance/event. You might make a new friend or pass a few minutes having an enjoyable conversation with someone that you might never meet again or make someone's day.

[NotKelly]

I haven't had much luck with volunteer groups (as I just got done posting in another topic). Nobody seems to be there to talk about or do the actual work. Either they're just there to goof off, or they're "professional activists" for whom that particular group is just one minor stop on their busy social whirl.

 

I suppose volunteer groups work well as "social anchors" where you are at least required to turn up for an hour every week or month, but in terms of inspiration or adding joy/interest to my life, I haven't found them very satisfying at all.