I Was Shocked! the way he asks some delicate questions makes me rattled

[huggable]

I met this friend through a free penpal access towards Internet.In past few weeks he is nice.But, time pass by i find him very aggressive with all his words.He is a businessman but the way he act especially asking some delicate question towards me makes me rattled.I did grown up in a conservative traits in which i did inform him to be careful with the words he used.Almost 3 weeks of getting to know each other where he keeps emailing me,most time he chat with me,he also keep texting and call me via my cellphone.Where in our World aparts.Were living in a different Country.He told me to be his personal companion when he arrives in my Country for he will be coming sometime in September in which i did agree.Just this morning he ask me a very unprofessional question "ARE YOU STILL A VIRGIN".I was shocked i havent heard from anyone asking me such thing.That leads me to end our conversation.I told him to leave me alone forever.AM I DOING CORRECTLY?ADVICE OF ANYONE ARE MUCH WELCOME.

[2SidestoStories]

Yes, you did the right thing by telling this man to leave you alone. In fact, I would absolutely refuse to take any more of his calls and would cease answering any e-mails or text messages you may get from him. You are in no way bound to him just because you agreed that you'd see him. He has made you extremely uncomfortable, obviously, and therefore you are not AT ALL required to have anything to do with him.

If you feel unsafe, please please contact your local authorities. I'm not saying you should be paranoid, just safe.

[Tony T]

You and your friend seem to have different moral values. Therefore, you did the right thing. There are many women who would not have been insulted by this question. However, you had already told him of your boundaries and warned him of your conservative nature and he disrespected your wishes. Anytime any person moves beyond the boundaries which you have set for them, you are correct in asking them to either improve their behavior or get out of your life. In your case, it doesn't sound like the man is goijng to change. Frankly, when he asked you to be his companion during his visit, I think he had a lot more than being friends in mind. To me, it sounds like he was wanting sex from you.

 

You have to be careful when you meet people online. If they show signs that their values are incompatible with yours, cease all communication with them. It's not often you will change people.

[huggable]

Hi, I'd like to give you an update about me and my friend that i am talking with.For sure someone may get angry with me for what i did because after telling him to leave me alone forever after 2 days i wrote him and asking an apology for what I've acted.I mean he ask also a forgiveness for what he said according to him his not expecting me to react that way because for them it is an ordinary question but i did insists that we grown up in a different culture mine is conservative and his as an aggresive.In which he did agree he told me that he must weigh his words before saying it.Mind you guys i began to fall in love with this person though we never meet yet.I dont know but before i told my feelings for him he already confessed that he likes me specifically my face upon seing my picture he keeps dreaming of me.I'm going to post the dream that he made sort like a novel maybe i will post tomorrow for you to read the full details.Anyway, i think i am misleading my hearts want but my mind dont want really confuse.NEED HELP.

[moimeme]

It is very easy to create a fantasy around someone you have not met and fall in love with that fantasy. It is easy to believe that the person you 'know' from the internet is the whole person. It's very common. However, you must meet and know someone to really love him. And don't listen to what he's telling you about different cultures. What he did is not acceptable in any culture. Men who start out very early in a relationship by asking intimate questions aren't out to fall in love.

 

He can tell you are shy and naive and he will take advantage of you. Please listen to the advice you get here. Understand that you love a fantasy and that this could turn out very badly for you. You are much better to meet someone who doesn't come up with false excuses about 'culture'. Believe me.

[huggable]

Above was his dream that I'm talking about.Let me know your comment after reading it.Thanks again for sparing your time to read and give advice towards my post message.

 

 

 

Dream Day With An Angel

 

 

I woke early this morning and was anxious to get out of bed and going. Today is the day I am returning to Manila. I am excited. I have a strange new city to explore, new foods to sample, and Ana.

 

While I dress I reminisce on how I met Ana through a free pen pal service on the Internet. I sent messages to three potential pen pals. Only Ana replied and she replied immediately. How excited I was to make a new friend through the Internet. Over the next couple of weeks we got to know each other. What we liked and disliked and what topics we needed to avoid. This was mostly religion since through our exchanges of email and through chat I learned that Ana was quite religious. Initially I viewed this with some trepidation but eventually I thought it would not matter. I would learn to understand with her religion like I learned to understand her cultural differences. I was determined to not see our differences as problems but as things that made our friendship even more special.

 

Eventually we spoke on the telephone. Surprise! Talking to Ana was like talking to any other woman. She did not seem nearly so religious on the phone as she did in here emails and her chat messages. Not only that, but Ana had the most sexy telephone voice imaginable. Kind of exotic, kind of like a little girl, but also assured and confident. I was thrilled! But also concerned. With one phone call my cyber friend had become this sexy object of fantasy. We had exchanged photos but until now I had not really thought so much about them. Ana was certainly attractive but she was far away and very religious. Now I found myself looking at them in a new light and wondering what Ana would look like in something less conservative. Something more like what the girls in the Victoria Secret’s catalog would wear. I wondered what that exotic little girl voice would sound like in the dark whispering close to my ear. In a few hours I would start the journey to maybe finding out just how different the “real Ana” was from the religious woman I knew from emails and chat. I was really hoping the “real Ana” was not a complete angel and was interested in something more than friendship.

 

The plane trip was a blur. I don’t remember anything about it. I remember searching the crowd in the terminal but not seeing Ana until this pretty petite woman in a long feminine shirt dress was standing is in front of me with a question in her eyes. “Ken?” she said softly. “Hi Ana!” I replied. Then she was in my arms and obviously thrilled to meet me at last. She smelled wonderful, like some sort of perfume that was light, powdery, and floral with a hint of Citrus. But underneath the perfume she had that special smell of clean health girl. She was warm and soft and lovely. Ana was shorter than I had thought she would be from her pictures but not skinny. She was just about perfect. So in the middle of a busy airport I held Ana in my arms with my face buried in her hair and basked in her warm femininity. This was going to be an excellent visit.

 

We talked through baggage claim. We talked through the taxi ride to my hotel. We talked through check-in at my hotel. Ana had picked the hotel. I vaguely noticed that it was really nice but my attention was really on Ana. She was interesting, vivacious, and sexy.

 

We dropped my bags off in my suite. I had a quick shower and a change of clothing while Ana waited in the sitting room. I left the bedroom door open a bit so we could talk while I showered and changed. It felt good to get out of those sweaty clothes that reeked of airplane stink. Then it was down to the hotel restaurant for dinner and drinks and more Ana. I think dinner was good. I even had some sort of dessert that we shared. I am sure it was good as Ana sure seemed to enjoy her portion. I enjoyed watching Ana smile as she devoured it. She was both sophisticated and innocent. I felt like Harrison Ford when he had that Moroccan dinner with Julia Ortmund in that movie Sabrina. In the movie, by the end of their dinner Ford had obviously fallen under Sabrina’s spell just as I felt myself falling under the spell of my friend Ana.

 

After dinner I was a little tired so we ordered a couple of bottles of wine and took them up to my room to chat and relax. We talked and finished the first bottle of wine. When Ana is tipsy she giggles. It is so cute! After hours of sitting on the plane I was obviously a little uncomfortable and stiff even after a relaxing dinner and a couple of drinks. Ana offered to leave so I could sleep but I quickly convinced her to stay a little longer. We returned to the beautifully carpeted floor where we had been enjoying our wine. But Ana is sweet. Without a word she picked up her wine glass and knelt behind me. Ana’s hands were butter soft and smooth and deliciously warm when she placed them on my shoulders and began a firm massage. This was actually odd since it our chat session she really seemed to not like the idea of massages. So I looked a question over my shoulder but she just smiled and continued that wonderful massage. “Well,” I thought, “I guess this is one of the difference between the “real Ana” and the woman I mistook her for.” I was liking the “real Ana”. The other was more of an angel but the “real Ana” was more of a woman. The angel was okay but I preferred the woman.

 

The massage was relaxing and eventually I had relaxed until I was leaning against Ana. She continued to massage my shoulders but the massage was softer and slower, almost a caress. My back was against her chest. I could feel her breasts moving against my back as she caressed my shoulders. I could feel her soft sweet breath against my ear and neck as I relaxed against her. Without my noticing my head slowly turned until her breath was soft against my cheek. I watched her eye lashes and her lips as she continued her massage and smiled a little smile. She resolutely did not look directly at me. Time passed until her face was so close I could feel my breath against her cheek. Her hands continued their motion until my lips nibbled the corner of her mouth. Then she froze and looked down. Her face flushed, she said “We really just met. We shouldn’t be doing this.” I softly replied, “We have known each other for months and you promised me a kiss.” Startled, eyes flashing and indignant she demanded, “I did no such thing!” “Alright”, I replied, “I promised me a kiss. Will you help me? You did promise to be my personal companion and to help me in any way you could.” A small laugh and Ana relaxed. “That is not what I meant by helping!” I laughed, “Then you should be more careful about what you offer!” Moving slowly I placed another soft kiss on the edge of her lips as Ana watched me out of the corner of her eye. She didn’t help but she didn’t pull away either so … I took a bigger nibble of her lips and still she had not really moved. She just kept staring straight ahead with a small smile. Moving slowly I gently turned her face to mine. I placed my lips firmly on hers and relaxed them into a series of short kisses. Somehow the kisses got longer and wetter and Ana was in my lap facing me. My arms were around her waist and her arms were draped over my shoulders while her soft hands danced over the back and top of my head. My hands massaged her back where my hands occasionally dipped lower to a smooth expanse of warm flesh exposed by the bunched up dress. I pulled my face back so our eyes could meet. I looked her a question. Looking down she replied with a shy smile by gently placed her forehead firmly against my lips and snuggling into my lap. Cradling her gently into my arms, I lifted my Ana from the floor and carried her to our waiting bed.

 

Much later, much more relaxed I watched Ana’s face as she slept with her head on my shoulder and her fragrant hair spread across the soft pillows of my hotel room. I sighed in contentment, “What a wonderful day.” My special friend is now my wonderful lover and I am in Paradise.

[jenny]

ana,

i don't know how to make this clearest to you. this man is a predator. and worse, he's a bad writer. there is a series of stories called "yellow fever" that tell the stories of men seducing women from the orient. if you look around on the internet, particularly in groups, you will find many such stories, some written almost exactly like yours. it's a fetish, which is fine if all parties involved are knowledgeable. you are not. this "romance" is a cliche disguise for victimization. the idea of the "aggressive" culture is a little fantasy he has in his head because he has trouble dealing with the real world of women like you - stay firm. you respect yourself and that's really cool.

 

so... in case you think

 

1. this man could care for you - he will not. he wants to have sex with you while he is town and then leave.

 

2. this man admires you - he does not. read "the dream" very carefully. he looks at your body and thinks it is "almost perfect". you "resolutely do not look him in the eye." you massage him and kiss him, and become a better woman because you have chosen to serve him instead of your God. what happens at the end of the story when he goes home? what happens to you?

 

3. this man will respect the real you - he will not. you have been clear that your religion is the real you. he has no respect for your religion and sees it as an obstacle to having sex with you.

 

4. this man wants to marry you or have a relationship with you - he does not. i would put money on him using this kind of letter/dream as a consistent ploy to see which girls will buy it.

 

5. this man likes only you - he does not. get one of your friends to post her picture and respond to his ad without mentioning you. see if he has similar dreams about her.

 

6. know that it is possible that this man is, in fact, married. question him closely about his relationships in his 'real home'

 

7. finally: <b> know that these are men that are considered losers. these are men who can not get sex without resorting to cheap stupid ploys to get it. he is the kind of man that women laugh at. </b>

 

don't be one of his girls. if you have any respect for yourself at all, don't ever speak to him again for any reason.

 

finally, if for no other reason - guys like this will often lose respect and interest in their 'travel conquests' as soon as they get what they want. if you insist on writing to him, try saying you would be happy to write back and forth weekly with him for 1 year before meeting and see if he respects your wishes. if he says no, you know that he does not want to talk to you that much.

 

hugs and support, j

[huggable]

Truly, all of your advices are one of a kind.I do agree with you.Thats my first impression too.Yet, I had this attitude to give any person the benefit of the doubt.But, on this case "no doubt" at all.I should stay away from him.Wait, as i have mention I will be his personal companion when he comes here.Would it be okey if i'll accompany my group of friends to meet him.For that, I'm pretty much sure he will do nothing because i had my friends in me.Another thing, I will no longer waste my time to meet him which one i would choose?REALLY YOU ARE OWESOME GUYS.I SALUTE YOU FOR YOUR GREAT ADVICES.

[jenny]

why are you his personal companion? even if you made a promise to do this, it was a promise made when you thought he was still an ok guy. he lied, so the promise is not valid. you are under no obligation and he does not deserve your kindness. you lower yourself by even wasting an evening with this creep.

 

you are such a sweetheart - it would be so awful if you got hurt. just leave him standing at the airport - go out with your friends and have fun instead.

 

i hate to admit this, but part of the reason i know about this kind of stuff is because i have a good male friend who makes a practice of it. he is a old close friend because we went to private school together, but i can't excuse his actions on this account - he laughs with his guy friends about the girls he can get to meet him. he finds ways to seperate the ones who show up with parents or friends, and he keeps a list of how much time and money each one took to "colonize."

 

hugs and warnings and support, j

[huggable]

Thank you so much Jen.Better safe than sorry must be on my mind now.Thanks again for the advice.God bless.