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Should I confront her? And how?


Peace&Love

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I'm moving out of town soon and want some closure with a girl friend, or at least leave on a good note somehow. I met this girl at a work function last year. We're not close friends but we used to spend a lot of time together--we did lunch, happy hours, and some weekends together. I don't think we got too close because we have different priorities in life--she's all about meeting guys and dating whereas I'm more focused on my career.

 

Anyway, long story short... I met a guy a couple of months ago who showed some interest in me. At first, I didn't return his affections and I told my friend that. I think she might have interpreted that as me turning him down, therefore she can move in. But she didn't tell me she was interested in him and I had no idea until later on. As I got to know the guy some more, I fell for him and we even hooked up. One day he told me my girl friend had been texting him a lot, inviting him out, and (obviously) most likely hoping for more. Between the two of us, we figured out that she had a crush on him and never told me. He told me he wasn't interested in her and asked me to relay the message (I never did because I thought it was lame that he didn't have the balls to tell her himself).

 

The fling has fizzled out since then, but the girl has been avoiding me for two months now and even blocked me from her wall on Facebook (I know, real mature). The Facebook thing was hard to miss because she's constantly posting things and updating her statuses. Then poof!--she disappeared from my News Feed. I don't even know if the real reason why she's avoiding me is because of the guy or for some other reason. I had kept my fling a secret from her and I'm guessing maybe she found out somehow. I have some other theories, like maybe my fling finally had the guts to talk to her but also told her about our trysts. Like I said, I'm moving out of town soon (in less than a month) and I would like some closure between us. Yes, we were not close friends, but we were good friends; she was someone I used to spend a lot of time with and would like to keep in touch with as I'm sure I will be back in town eventually. Should I confront her about her behavior, and how?

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Peace&Love:

 

You may not want to hear this, but she may not want closure. Your "friend" dismissed you without even hearing your side of the story. Do you really want to make peace with someone as selfish as that? If so, why? I say, if you must, create a separate facebook page and send her a detailed message that offers her an explanation-along with your phone number. Trust me, she will read the message. lol. You are only accounted for your actions. She has already shown you her true colors. Good luck with the reconnection.

 

Nikayla

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Nikayla,

 

You're absolutely right about her dismissing me and acting selfish. I'm not even sure if she's worth my time and I'm definitely not going to the trouble of creating a new Facebook account just to contact her. At this point, I'm really more curious than anything else as to why she started ignoring me. If she actually got mad at me because of a guy, I want to hear it from her.

 

We have a bunch of mutual friends but no one's mentioned anything to me except for the obvious fact that they haven't seen the two of us together in a while. I haven't asked them if they know why she stopped talking to me because I don't want to start badmouthing her.

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hehehe, make a new facebook account that's a good idea...

 

I know, I know... stupid move.

 

Peace&Love:

 

Well, I'm glad to hear you're taking the high road. This friendship definitely seems irreparable. I am a proponent of the "everything happens for a reason" ideology. Perhaps, in this case, it's better that she doesn't say what's on her mind. She made a choice and, hopefully, you will make yours. Good luck with your move!

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dcdatingdiva

Eeek, this sounds so awkward. I know how you feel about wanting closure- there were a number of times in my past where I wish we could just be adults and talk everything through. This girl, however, sounds like she doesn't want the same thing. From what you say, it sounds like she is being really immature and petty and doesn't want anything to do with you. I think you would totally be in the right, however, to ask her what her deal is and to clear the air. Good luck, it sounds like this girl could make this whole thing a little messy!

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