Issue with acquaintance

[AmericanGirl]

Hello everyone,

I recently had an issue with an acquaintance that I hope some of you can help with.

A good friend of mine (I'll call her April) who I have known for a few years recently started in a new job and has made some friends there. She has invited me on some nights out with them and we all got along well. I get on well with them and find them to be nice people.

One of them (I'll call her Stacey) is particularly sociable.

From what I can make out, she has had a difficult life, having lost her brother a few years ago. She also had a son while she was still a teen, and from what I can see spends much of her time in bars drinking. As she works full time, I am not sure how much exactly she sees her son or if he even lives with her.

She seems quite street-smart but also the type who would get in a fight easily enough.

Anyway I got along well with her or at least I thought so.

 

So this girl Stacey was having a birthday party in a bar last week and invited me along. It was going well, and after a couple of hours we were quite drunk.

I had been sitting at one end of the table and when I went up to order a drink I left my Blackberry. When I came back I went and sat in a different seat to chat to the people at the other end of the table.

 

I thought I heard my phone beep (for a text message) but figured I'd read the text later. A few minutes later I look over and Stacey's boyfriend (who I had never met before) is talking on my phone! I said to him "Excuse me that is my phone" and he just looked at me and continued talking. Then he handed it over and my boyfriend was on the line asking who that was? I told him I didn't know who it was. Next thing Stacey starts getting very mouthy, I couldn't hear what she was saying because I was trying to hear my boyfriend on the phone.

When I finished talking to him I told Stacey's boyfriend that in future if my phone rings, that it is manners to just tell me rather than answer it for me.

I am a very private person and I really don't like a complete stranger reading my texts and answering my private calls.

 

Stacey started shouting saying he thought it was her Blackberry and had read a couple of texts on it and trying to figure out who they were from. She then started shouting at me (in front of everyone) that I should "get the **** out". She came over and squared up to me face to face and cussed me out. The room was silent at this point as she had made such a scene. I walked straight out and my friend April followed me. April told me that Stacey has an alcohol problem in that it makes her very aggressive and that she won't even remember any of it in the morning. I was very upset and said that Stacey had behaved like trash, shouting and cussing in public like that, and April agreed and said that she is not always a very nice person.

April apologised profusely for Stacey's behaviour and I was pleased that she left straight after I did.

Anyway, April said she is going to have a word with Stacey over her behaviour. She has never been in this situation with a friend before and neither have I. What I am wondering is how I should handle this from now on.

I assume that Stacey will apologise to me but I am not sure how to deal with it. Naturally the temptation is there to tell her how trashy her behaviour was but I would like to remain classy in this situation. At the moment everyone is on my side and while part of me would love to tell Stacey what I think of her, I do not want this to descend into bitchy schoolgirl arguments.

Plus, if other people see me insult Stacey they may think that perhaps I deserved to be shouted and cussed at.

 

So how do I deal with this? I am extremely tempted to throw some sly digs into the conversation the next time the group are out but as I say, I want to stay in everyone's good books and show that I am a nice person and Stacey is the one who behaved like a bitch.

If she apologises, should I just accept it through gritted teeth without comment?

[Pedigree]

If she's still at the level of an acquaintance then it shouldn't be that big of a deal if you decide that you don't want to have anything to do with her.

[AmericanGirl]

If she's still at the level of an acquaintance then it shouldn't be that big of a deal if you decide that you don't want to have anything to do with her.

 

I don't want anything to do with her, but I don't want any awkwardness in the group either. Most of my friends live far away and so these people are the only ones I really see on a regular basis. Maybe I will just blank her in future.

[blueyedgrl85]

So how do I deal with this? I am extremely tempted to throw some sly digs into the conversation the next time the group are out but as I say, I want to stay in everyone's good books and show that I am a nice person and Stacey is the one who behaved like a bitch.

As hard as it may be and as much as you want to exact revenge on this girl, it is best to say nothing and hold your temper. Your group of friends obviously knows this is how she behaves and so it is best to move past this event and continue on with your life.

[123BeachFan]

Okay, either she's a hostile person by her very nature, with little respect for your privacy and belongings. Which is a good reason to not have anything more to do with her.

 

Or she's an alcoholic with all the drama and mess associated with that. Which is a good reason to not have anything more to do with her.

 

You've already shared with April your disasterous situation with Stacey. Certainly, no one in your circle of friends would judge you if you were to blow Stacey off as a casual friend. I would say, you've done what you needed to do. And from this point out, don't spend any more time around Stacey than is absolutely necessary.