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When people insult you, then tell you to "lighten up"


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I can't stand people like this....don't you hate it when people insult you, and then when you tell them you don't appreciate that remark...they tell you to "Lighten up" or 'You should learn how to take a joke" or even better...."Don't be so negative!"

 

Basically, these are cop outs or platitudes, people use and live by....and try to make the person they insulted out to be the jerk (when they're the jerk themselves).

 

This makes them unaccountable for their actions, and thus rationalize their behavior.

 

Anyone know or have met people that do this?

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Yes, my ex mother-in-law.

 

She used to say the most insulting things- and when it would bring me to tears she would overreact, feigning shock and awe that her comment had hurt.

 

I've known others like this as well. You confront them and they make you feel like you are CRAZY for confronting them.

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This is one of my pet peeves as well, and OP, you're right, it's nothing more than a cop-out, and a rationalization.

 

It's people not owning what they say.

 

I usually encounter this with people who have low self-esteem..........

 

.......they need to tear someone else down to build themselves up.

 

 

I haven't had to deal with much of that personally, as an adult, (thankfully).

 

There is one person however, a friend of my bf's, who's taken a lot of potshots at my expense, and yes, it's infuriating. I still haven't figured out

quite how to handle it. Not the overt insults, more the subtle sideways jabs, the kind that you don't realize were insulting until the person's walked away.

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Ohhhh, yes, yes, yes!! Don't you just love it when they are like "OMG, get over it" when you feel totally insulted. LOL. It is like you stand there thinking "Wait! How did I become the villain here?"

 

I am a little older and wiser now, and I have learned like you mentioned, it is their way of transferring accountability for their own idiotic behavior. It's not quite as cute, but just as funny how they are so obvious as a child when trying to avoid consequences. ;)

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My standard response is usually "And you could stand to lose a bit of weight off your arse."

 

Cheers,

D.

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My standard response is usually "And you could stand to lose a bit of weight off your arse."

 

Cheers,

D.

 

Actually D, Your standard response to most of the crazy crap people say is "cheers";)

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Actually D, Your standard response to most of the crazy crap people say is "cheers";)

I'm nicer online than in real life. Scary thought hey?

 

Cheers,

D.

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I'm nicer online than in real life. Scary thought hey?

 

Cheers,

D.

 

Not really, I have seldom ever disagreed with you!

Besides, knowing what I know about the origin of your avatar- I know I'd get along with you:lmao:

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