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my best friend & annoying habit


what should i

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what should i

I have known my best friend since the 6th grade. She and I have been very close since, and we are like sisters, we can discuss anything and everything. After high school, she and I went to separate colleges, she got involved with someone whom she eventually married, and so our friendship kind of fell off for a while as we were both quite busy. But everytime we talked, it was like we hadn't missed a single day.

 

I have since married and had a child and financially and professionally, I am doing quite well. She, however, has a young child, is separated from her husband, struggling to make ends meet and is pursuing relationships with men she's met on the internet. Which is, incidentally, how she met her husband in the first place, but that's another story.

 

So now we both moved away from our hometown, and coincidentally, we moved to the same mid-sized town and live only about 5 mintues from each other. I got her a job at the same very large company where I work, but we work at different areas and so don't see each other much on the job.

 

Here's my problem:

 

Whenever I introduce her to someone, or when we meet someone new, I always mention that she's my best friend since we were kids. And she says, "yeah, SHE wanted to be MY friend," implying, I guess, that I pursued a friendship that she initially did not want. And that isn't the case at all...although she either doesn't know this or doesn't want to admit it.

 

What really happened when we met was that my boyfriend knew her but I did not. He was invited to her birthday party and I wasn't, and it wasn't the kind of party that he could bring me to without me being invited. I tried to conspire to get myself invited by hanging around her and being really nice, but it didn't work, but she and I eventually became friends anyway. I wasn't trying to be her friend for any reason except I was jealous that she was trying to steal my boyfriend away (6th grade drama).

 

Now that I write this down, it seems kind of dumb, but it really bothers me that the first thing out of her mouth when we meet someone new or when I'm introducing her to someone is, "SHE wanted to be MY friend."

 

Should I tell her the truth about what happened why back when and explain to her how irritated I am when she makes that comment? Or just grit my teeth and ignore it? Or what?

 

Thanks for any advice.

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maybe she means it like suprised that you wanted to be her friend. huh? guess depends on how she says it. and you would know. Just say "it suprised me too!"

 

no no seriously at a friendly moment alone. Maybe a lunch date. Just ask her why she says that. Tell her how it makes you feel. But don't make her defensive. Openess is one of the best things friendships can have.

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quankanne

or maybe that's just a bit of her unhappiness coming out because of the differences between your lives since you've gotten older?

 

you've got a couple of options, as the other posters have pointed out. If those don't work, maybe just stop introducing her as your best friend since childhood? Either she'll pick up on it and wonder why you don't mention it anymore, thus opening the possibility for discussion, or she'll just leave it alone.

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what should i

TO: steffany...

 

She says it with an attitude like, "I'm special because she was begging to be MY friend." Kind of stuck-up and snotty.

 

TO: yes...

 

I think that's an excellent response!

 

TO: quankanne...

 

She's never said it until we moved to the same town and we started to see each other more. In high school or when we'd see each other after high school, she never said it. Just now. Maybe you're right - maybe it is her way of putting one up on me. I don't know...but everytime it happens it just jars me.

 

We've only recently moved here within the last year and a half, and we're so familiar with each other, it kind of needs some explanation that we have a relationship that goes back so far.

 

I don't know...it just bugs me and after it happens I don't talk to her for a couple of days...I don't even think she notices.

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