My freind is mad at me!

[cutieh]

Hello,

 

I'm a female and my female friend is mad at me. She always gets mad at me because I have my own opinions and she seems controlling. She says that I like to argue. One day we were at the store and I was asking a clerk a question and she grabbed my arm and said you don't have to ask him that and pulled my away from him.

 

Yesterday we were in the car and I had directions to where we were going. We were almost home when she said that she knew the rest of the way. She told me to turn right and I said, but the directions says left. She got mad at me and said that she doesnt car what the directions say and she said that I like to argue. I said I wasnt arguing I was just saying. She said that she was sick of the argueing with me and sick of being the friend. She told me to take her home and that she wasnt going to go anywhere else with me. She got out of my car and didnt say anything to me.

 

I have thought about calling her. But I see no point if she is the one mad and doesnt want to talk to me. I think the situation is silly to be mad over. She always gets upset over everything I say. I feel she wants me to do everything she wants and wants me think just like her.

 

What should I do about the situation

[Ronni_W]

You have the situation sussed out perfectly: she is controlling and demanding (extremely high-maintenance, in other words.)

 

*IF* you are willing to settle for relationships like that will follow this same basic pattern for the rest of your life, then you'll do everything you can to make amends with her and, in future, just do everything what, when and how she tells you. (That is, keep just trying to please her - and others - at expense of your Self.)

 

But. *IF* you're tired of not having your own voice in your own life, then you will just let this friendship transform itself into an acquaintanceship...and will start to learn about assertiveness, and how to set firm, appropriate, self-respecting, self-affirming emotional boundaries.

I do know of some books and other resources - repost if you're interested.

 

You have the absolute right to have and express your OWN beliefs, opinions, ideas, etc.; and to speak your OWN truth; and to meet your own needs, desires, goals, etc.; and to follow your own heart and intuition.

This friend sounds as if SHE wants to be in charge of all of that, for you.

 

That is crap! But it's still up to you to choose whether or not you are going to give your personal power to others -- that is your right and privilege, too.

 

Hugs, and best of luck.

[Curious-One]

time to get a new friend!