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question about friendships with other males in a competitive world


addidas

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This is just something I wrote in my blog tonight. I went to a party to see old friends I haven't seen in a long time. We had some, I guess you can say, some "bad blood" between us in the past mostly because of conflicting ways we viewed our friendship I think. I thought they might have changed but I don't think they have. Although this is not necessarily a dating question, but more of a friendship question.. I was wondering if It was in my best interest to have this kind of point of view about what friendships really mean? Or am I out of sync with how the world really works?

 

That town is filled with snobs. always competing who has the most materialistic wealth, and (what they consider) the "coolest" friends. watch out for back stabbers. They are all so catty towards eachother too. glad i'm not engulfed in that sphere of influence anymore. Hanging out with them, left a bad taste in my mouth a day later. Obviously there are some trust issues I have with them. I tried though.

 

I should not leave my defenses down with these type of people. They have a very "game" mentality atleast from what I've seen when they are in their groups. I on the otherhand came with a very down to earth mentality, which is probably not a safe way of approaching this type of group dynamic. Instead of going to see old friends, it was like going to a job interview as I was meticulously, in a very sly way, checked off as being "not one of them." After reflecting on the event, That is the vibe I felt from them.

 

Just had to write this down, and put this issue to rest in words. Now I can focus on what's really important, my goals.

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something I read in a colleague's blog made a lot of sense: That jocks and cheerleaders have a hard time adjusting to life after high school because it's their glory days that have defined their lives. They don't *want* to consider that their classmates have become successful in their own right because that would mean owning up to a change in their little bubble.

 

my guess is that your former friends are the same way: They can't look past the things they glorify to see that someone has found another way of looking at success/happiness, because it then means they have to reevaluate their world ... if that definition of success changes, it means they're no longer "it." And heaven forbid that should ever happen.

 

there's a lesson to be learned from your experience: All that glitters isn't gold, and you can't buy a stairway to heaven (or happiness), to paraphrase Led Zepplin ...

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If it's all about trying to outdo each other in getting wealth and having connections, then it's not a friendship then, is it? Makes me glad that the only time my close friends and I get competitive is when we play videogames and trashtalk to each other.

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