disarm_1 Posted August 16, 2009 Share Posted August 16, 2009 well it's been 2 weeks since my gf dumped me. going on 4 days of no contact. i'm trying to stay busy. hanging out with my friends as much as possible. there's one friend that i lost while i was in my relationship. we were best friends, but when i met my gf we naturally stopped hanging out as much. he didn't take that too well. he and my gf clashed as well. he's very outspoken and can be a bit abrasive. add to that that he is constantly juggling 2 girls at the same time. my gf didn't like that and wasn't comfortable with me hanging out with someone like that. anyways we all made it work for awhile. then i come to find out that he was talking about my gf behind my back. telling people she would do crazy things when drunk. for the record she never did. it was all made up. he told these things to a business colleague who was sort of a friend as well. when i confronted him he tried acting like he didn't know what i was talking about. finally he tried saying it was the other guy who was saying it not him. i asked him why he didn't tell me, i'd tell him if someone said that about his gf. or at least tell whoever was saying it that it's not cool. he said "because he's a business colleague. the relationship with him is more important than whatever we have left of a friendship." that really hurt me when he said that. after that we stopped talking. i haven't talked to him in 2yrs. i do miss the times we had before all of that happened. we were best buds. we had great times. part of me wants to call him up. the other part of me remembers what he said. how can i be friends with someone like that you know? i had seen him be an a-hole towards other people, but never was it directed towards me. what do you guys think? Link to post Share on other sites
lovebubble Posted August 16, 2009 Share Posted August 16, 2009 truthfully, i wouldn't. seems like you've been minus this friend for 2 years and you've lived. his actions were shady and i'm assuming in time, if you were to be in another relationship, the negativity would endure. sounds like you have other friends to dedicate your time to. good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
amagordos Posted August 16, 2009 Share Posted August 16, 2009 Well its been two years and you have survived without him, plus he sounds like a bad person. THen again, you did miss him and i could identify with your friend because recently i got dumped by a close friend too, so i might be biased towards that and tell you that you should talk to him again. Only you can decide that. I think you should do what your heart tells you, but in this case it might be harder to decipher that. If i were you, i would talk to them again and see what happens, but that is just me. I hope this helps. Link to post Share on other sites
Author disarm_1 Posted August 16, 2009 Author Share Posted August 16, 2009 thanks guys. i will say i'm leaning towards just not getting back in contact. i'm good friends with his brothers still. i actually had lunch with one of them a few days ago. from what he tells me, he hasn't changed much. i guess this might just be one of those relationships where you outgrow each other. i wouldn't say my mind is made up yet. i knew what type of person he was when we were friends and i put up with it. i know it bothered him a lot when we stopped hanging out so much. i could've handled that better myself. i isolated him. not that it gives him an excuse for what he did but i had a part in it. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 16, 2009 Share Posted August 16, 2009 Did you try to get in contact with him while still with your gf? Because if you didn't and now that she's gone, HE is going to feel like second fiddle..GF is gone so now you want back into his life. Another way to look at is, he hasn't made the effort to renew the friendship and after 2 years, is it worth it? What good could he bring into your life now? You've already said it could be the growing apart thing. Anyway, a friendship could happen, a casual one, if each of you are interested. Link to post Share on other sites
Author disarm_1 Posted August 16, 2009 Author Share Posted August 16, 2009 once that situation happened with us we stopped talking. i kept in contact with all other friends including his brothers. you make a very good point. he hasn't made an effort to renew the friendship either. maybe it is time to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
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