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Friendship Lost?


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This fall, I will be entering my Junior year of college. I met this girl thru a friend, about the 1st week of freshman year. Hot chick, she had a bf at the time, and Im not a fan of drama, so I didn't pursue a relationship, we just become friends. It was cool.

 

We would meet for lunch, even dinner a lot. I took her out for her birthday even (like Feb 08). Her and I would go to each others dorms and hang out, eat ice cream and watch TV, a basketball game, whatever. It was a completely platonic relationship.

 

She broke up with her bf in like May of 08, and nothing changed. We still met for lunch/coffee/dinner, we studied together, it was cool. He was hardly discussed, actually.

 

Problem is, the last time her and I hung out, was November of 08. We met for dinner, I remember her giving me a big hug with a smile, then as she walked away, came back for another hug, and I thought everything was cool - we went our separate ways for the night.

 

Then, nothing. Anytime after that night, if I would ask her in person if she wanted to hang out, she said she was busy. Said she didn't have time for lunch, coffee, even a library date. Stopped replying to my texts and wall posts. Only thing I got was a greeting in passing.

 

Whats the deal? We were tight, and then all of a sudden its no more?

 

The ONLY thing I can think of, is at our last dinner, I mentioned casually that Girl X was a very good friend of mine. Turns out this girl doesn't think too highly of Girl X. But, even then, we moved past that, and the convo that night was fine - I got the couple hugs after.

 

So whats the deal?? She just doesn't wanna be friends anymore, wtf? My life isn't going to go into a tailspin, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss hanging out with her, she is a cool chick.

 

Thanks!

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UnamedSeven

Very puzzling..... Could it be that she's become too occupied with College or some job? Which is why she says she's busy all the time? i know its not likely. But even if that was the case she could make a little bit of time for you; at least dinner once a month or something.

 

If you know any mutual friend of hers, just ask one of them and see if they have any answers.

 

Its kind of a bad thing to do, but if you really, really, wanna talk to her, make up a lie about how depressed you've been since ______ happened. Which, is TOTALLY the wrong thing to do, but she can't exactly say no to that or disregard it.

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If you guys were pretty tight, then you should just ask her. Yes, it's been a long time since you've hung out, but just be as candid and honest as you were here. Ask her if you did something wrong or to offend her? Let her know that if you did something unknowingly to offend her or did something wrong and don't know about it, you can't correct it or even apologize.

 

I've learn time and time again...telling the truth is THE best way to go. Leaves no room for confusion and saves a lot of headache.

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Should I call her like nothing has happened, and ask to hang out, or should I call her and tell her we need to talk? The latter may seem clingy.

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Should I call her like nothing has happened, and ask to hang out, or should I call her and tell her we need to talk? The latter may seem clingy.

 

I personally would do what you first said...call her up and ask if she'd like to hang out. If you get the same response as before (busy, etc), then just do it over the phone. Ask if everything is okay, have you done something to upset her? Asking her to hang out is a good idea, however if she's been turning you down consistently to hang out, she may just turn you down again.

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Ok, so she gave me her number in the facebook group, I called her on Friday, left her a voicemail like "hey whats up! blah blah blah." She texted me back like "Hey Im doing well, but Im at work right now and can't talk!"

 

So I texted her today and was like "Hey are you working tomorrow?" (Cause I was gonna be around there and thought I could stop bye and say hello) And haven't received a reply.

 

At this point, if I don't receive a reply, Im just gonna wait until I see her on campus this fall.

 

:(

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