karie5744 Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 Hello, I just got aggravated with a female acquaintance "Ranae", we've been around each other 6 years. She is 12 years younger then I am. I used to enjoy tipping the bottle just like she does, it is how we met. I got a doctor order for antidepressant use & I slowly stopped drinking booze & I finally have quit. Okay. She emails me & she wants to go out & asks me to go. I said no, I apologized for not being a drunk anymore, and she insisted I could go along anyway please oh please she pleaded. I mentioned taking along another female friend, to have someone to visit with, when Ranae got loopy & drifted off to hang on guys. She said she rather WE just went out and seen the other gal another day. I said well, I already mentioned to her the fun we were going to have, and (this gals hubby died & she has been REALLY lost) and Ranae kept sending me emails but never mentioned the time we would meet or where... Finally I told her I decided on just staying home. I didn't want to get lost inside the bar crowd of drunks, and Ranae got very upset with me. Ranae seems to not have any other female friends she pals around with.. So, then I felt bad because I had mentioned all this fun to the other gal (my age even) so I called HER up and said lets meet that night we had planned anyway to eat out.. I received an email from Ranae stating I could just call up the other gal cuz I'd probably have more fun with her anyway! I was ticked by then, & I emailed her back stating it was already taken care of... that Cindy & I were eating out & enjoying the crowd without the bar scene included. I told Ranae she needed to grow up, I told her I was very sad she was having trouble excepting the new me.. the one where I care about myself, my health etc. Of course she emailed back & told me to blow off the earth. I stopped emailing her & I took her name out of my email list, & off my Facebook. I know you feel this was a drastic step. But I saw it as an escape. I have tried to get away from her for 2 years but I seemingly failed to do so. I think I finally made it. What should I have said or done in this crazy situation. We 2 sober gals had a blast out. I would have been miserable in the bar. thanks Karie Link to post Share on other sites
TheSwordfish Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 Well I think if you want to break contact just tell her, this fight could probably have bene avoided if you just said: I won't go out because I want to stay sober. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted May 21, 2009 Share Posted May 21, 2009 almost sounds as if it needed to play out this way so that this girl would understand she's a toxic friend ... hope y'alls night out helped Cindy feel comfortable socializing in a low-key setting ~ I think it's fantastic that you're concerned about her well-being and are willing to meet up with her to help her get back in the swing of things. I don't drink either (well, I never really have, but as a diabetic it's not something I need, you know), so it's awkward for me to always be in drinky places, I feel like wet blanket a lot of the times. Not sure why people tend to gravitate to those places when you can have just as much fun hanging out someplace else. Like the bookstore! Link to post Share on other sites
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