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Cruel to be kind?


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Hey Everyone,

 

I hope you can help me out with my little problem.

 

Me and a gang of friends met another gang of people (who we'd talked to on the net) at a concert. Everyone was cool and we all had a good time.

 

Alot of us have kept in touch via emails and MSN over the past few years.

 

One guy in particular has kept in touch with all of us who met up. We've met again ( the whole gang- never alone) for festivals etc.

 

Anyway, he's taken an interest in me. I am the kind of person who people feel able to 'open up to'. Just general hassle that life throws at you- With this particular guy we've never discussed anything in an intimate way or flirted.

 

He sent me an email more or less confessing he 'thought alot about me'. I responded saying we were ALL good friends and enjoyed any meet ups we did have. His emails have got more honest and MSN chats became a little awkward as I knew he had feelings.

 

I stopped chatting as often to him and things were OK for a while.

 

Long story short- every now and then things blow up again and I find myself having to explain my lack of contact etc. I have emailed MANY times and explained I dont see him as anything other than a friend. He says he accepts that but there's always something that upsets him.

 

Just last weekend he left a msg on my MSN profile page implying that I had been online and was ignoring him.

 

I have a very long fuse but snapped and put something on a forum (not mentioning any names- but he would know who it was directed at) saying I was at my wits end feeling like I am being stalked.

 

In an ideal world I would block him on MSN and never contact him again, but we've all arranged another meet up for the summer- something thats cost alot of money and I really dont know how to handle the situation.

 

If you've read this far, thank you!!!!

 

Any ideas? x

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Well, is the whole gang meeting up? Does he act this way towards you in the group settings or just over email/msn? Maybe you can use the group meeting, when you two are alone, to explain to him nicely, but directly, that you are just friends and nothing more. Hopefully he'll get that.

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Thanks for replying.

 

In group settings he is totally dfferent, quite shy and understated. Then once we get back to our normal lives (he lives quite faraway) its then that he seems to analyse everything and get bothered by it all.

 

I think you're right, its something that needs addressing face to face.

 

Thank You.

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Sometimes it's best to just be blunt and tell him you have no interest in him, I don't know how hard you tried this, but speaking from the guy point of view, sometimes we don't see what's obvious, when a girl starts avoiding us, we make up excuses for her behaviour and refuse to believe she has no interest.

I think you should confront him face to face, he might feel like crap now, but it will be better for him in the long run.

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