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friend is now my lover


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Two days back my friend told he is in love with me, I am surprised he is my childhood days friend and I cannot accept him as my lover....I told him that I never had these feelings but still he is loving me like a mad but not violent just in heart,,,,,,Now I am feeling guilty and I am in a great confusion what to do?

Still He is my best friend who shares my all feelings and encourages me but How I accept him as my boyfriend?

 

Please suggest me what to do?

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Okay so you cannot see yourself with him as a lover right? You need to tell him in no uncertain terms that you are not interested. Don't leave any room for doubt. This is key to helping him move on.

 

He needs to pull away from you until these feelings pass. They will pass, but it will be hard on him for months. Each time he comes back to you and asks again hold your boundaries firm and tell him no.

 

It will all work out, it just will take time. Give him time to heal.

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Or realize that some people go their entire lives looking for a best friend they can have as their mate.

 

You're going to toss this one aside.

 

I would agree ..... tell him flat out then don't see or talk to him for a couple of weeks/months.

 

But I certainly hope you're not back here in several years complaining about whatever guy you hook up with because he doesn't give a crap about your feelings, etc.

 

Not to sound harsh .... but think about it first.

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Zeta4PhiSius

If you reject him, be careful how you do it. It really doesn't matter how you do it, though...he's going to be hurting for quite awhile...maybe even a long time. You can't get out of this one a winner.

 

I know. I told my friend that I was in love with her back in September of last year. She didn't feel the same way and it still hurts like hell. She chose someone else over me.

 

When someone's in love with you like that...it's probably impossible for it to ever heal from what has to be the ultimate rejection.

 

Have you, at the very least, considered giving him a chance? At least if it doesn't work out you can break up and it might be easier than a flat out rejection and making it look like you're running away screaming. I don't know. I've never had any instance of me telling a lady I'm in love with her actually work out so I have no idea how it plays out after an acceptance.

 

I agree with the others, though. Be clear. Don't be wishy washy or whatever. If you really believe there is no chance, tell him. You have to be clear or he'll think there's still a possibility for you two in the future.

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