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When a friend that backstabs you apologizes?


JadedHeart

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Hello all, here is my short story...

 

I was really close friends with someone.. we helped each other in our darkest times. He had some major financial difficulties and basically screwed me over after I helped him out.

 

So he said some cruel and unforgivable things.. Also said he would not pay me the money I loaned him.. He also said don't ever speak to me again, I love how they always try to turn it around so you're the bad guy!

 

Fast forward a few months of not talking, now this mofo says his birthday just passed wants to be friends and start fresh, oh yea and is going to pay back his debts. He wants to catch up and all..

 

Thing is I sort of played along because I really just want my loan back and have no interest being friends with him again. How can someone just decide to waltz right back into your life after they say some cruel and unusual things?

 

He did back stab me and is now regretting it, even said so himself.

 

So is it wrong for me to play along with the idea of him wanting to start fresh while I get my money back then cut him out of my life?

 

Or maybe act really distant after he pays me back?

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How much did you loan him?

 

Do you have ANY idea why he screwed you over? Where you nagging him alll the time about giving the money back?

 

Money can always cause a problem.

 

how long where you guys friends?

 

after he stopped talking to you, you never wanted to be friends again? There are some people (very few people) in our life that no matter what they do we always want them there.

 

As far as you 'leading him on' so to speak, it really all depends on those questions I asked. How much money was it, why did he screw you over, and how long you guys have been friends.

 

It's always going to be a rude thing to do, no matter who you are but some factors can make it seen a little less horrible.

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So is it wrong for me to play along with the idea of him wanting to start fresh while I get my money back then cut him out of my life?

No, I would not consider that "wrong" -- I'd see it as an appropriate, self-interested act. Based on what you posted, at this point you don't owe him any honesty or respect.

 

But. It won't hurt to also keep open a space for him to prove to you that he has matured, developed some self-awareness, and also become aware of his impact on you and others.

That is, don't just assess him on his past actions but also on his current actions.

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