Quinch Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 A friend of mine has invited a group of us out to a celebration meal tomorrow night and offered to foot the bill. Since I'm not currently working I don't often get the chance for big expensive meals like this so I'm grateful for his generosity. The problem is that, being a vegan, he has said that anyone who wants to eat meat should pay for their own meal. I can't afford to do that but I'm a little aggreived that he should impose his personal beliefs on everyone else. Surely, a good host should respect his guests tastes even if they contradict his own? Who is in the right here? Link to post Share on other sites
wuggle Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 Could argue it either way, either he could be right morally by not paying for meat, or he could be wrong by trying to impose his values. Guess he probably sees it from the moral standpoint. Not really important though, especially if a good friend. Why don't you go out and put yourself outside your comfort zone and just eat Vegan, ask him for his recomendations , then let him pay. Never know you might actually like thier food choices, and at the end of the day not worth ruining a friendship for one meal. (and if the food really is rubbish you could grab a kebab on the way home without them knowing ) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Quinch Posted March 22, 2009 Author Share Posted March 22, 2009 Thanks. Okay, I'll ask him what's good but I must say I'm quite picky about what I will/won't eat, especially when it comes to vegetables. I'll just have to keep an emergency bacon sandwich in my pocket Link to post Share on other sites
The Collector Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 A vegan is possibly going to have moral qualms about funding the meat industry in any way. As a vegetarian it's not something I'd ever say to my guests, but I can understand the issue. I'd say try the vegan option if you can stomach it, it's just one meat-free meal (and it's free). Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 Well, Being a vegetarian myself, I cannot imagine serving dinner with meat in it. I'd tell them to go eat meat somewhere else also. I wouldn't pay for that. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 Also, I've noticed that in general people don't have a vegetarian culture. Whenever you'd think of vegetarian dishes you'd imagine they suck for the most part. When I asked for vegetarian meals in the airplane for my son, they'd bring him some boiled broccoli with boiled carrots. Indian food for example is proof of how good vegetarian food can be. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 I'm vegan too, and I can't imagine inviting people out on my dime and then dictating what that dime will or will not go toward. That aside, you could always do like someone said and ask for his recommendations. Perhaps on some level that is his intent: to share what he considers great cuisine with people who wouldn't otherwise try it. There is some really good stuff out there, tasty even - that is eons away from boiled limp veggies. Grains, rice dishes, tofu (if cooked right can be really good), greens, squashes, pasta, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 Who cares? He pays... just don't eat meat on THAT occasion. it's not like you'll be eating with him 7 days a week.. it's FREE! Geezzz Link to post Share on other sites
clv0116 Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 Vegans are ridiculous. I have no issues with vegetarianism but vegans go way too far in pushing their political agenda. Can't eat from an oven that has ever cooked meat. Really? What practical reason is there for that? It's a homebrewed religion. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Quinch Posted March 22, 2009 Author Share Posted March 22, 2009 Who cares? He pays... just don't eat meat on THAT occasion. it's not like you'll be eating with him 7 days a week.. it's FREE! Geezzz I agree that, on this one occassion, I can probably go without meat. But would you refuse to pay for someone who didn't share your religious or political beliefs? Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 I agree that, on this one occassion, I can probably go without meat. But would you refuse to pay for someone who didn't share your religious or political beliefs? I don't know.. I think all this hoola on vegatarians... is stupid.. Religions should be left in the kitchen... period. Political beliefs.. well that could be a different story... but in your case.. it's no big deal.. just go and enjoy a veggie meal.. Next time.. just stay home.. simple. or if it's not too late.. just decline the invitation. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 A friend of mine has invited a group of us out to a celebration meal tomorrow night and offered to foot the bill. Since I'm not currently working I don't often get the chance for big expensive meals like this so I'm grateful for his generosity. The problem is that, being a vegan, he has said that anyone who wants to eat meat should pay for their own meal. I can't afford to do that but I'm a little aggreived that he should impose his personal beliefs on everyone else. Surely, a good host should respect his guests tastes even if they contradict his own? Who is in the right here? You are absolutely correct in being offended and I personally wouldn't bother even going. There are many vegans and vegetarians with a holier than thou attitude and everybody else be damned. It's sickening. What you decide to eat is a personal thing and people who are kind and considerate leave it to the individual to decide how they are going to do so. This person is selfish and self centered. You don't need someone like that. If you want a free meal, eat what he approves of...but just be on notice that you have a very one-sided friendship here. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 In my book it's rude. It's like if I had a party and didn't provide alcohol for my guests if I wasn't drinking. Or the other way around...if I didn't provide non-alcoholic beverages for my guests who don't drink. It would be rude. I would never say anything to your host though because that would be rude. So I'd either go and graciously accept the meal under his terms or politely decline. Link to post Share on other sites
Taramere Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 As he was a friend with something to celebrate, I would want to go along as a gesture of friendship - and I would eat meat (which I would happily pay for myself) as a gesture of independence. If you can't afford it then pick a starter as a main course. Or you could even just skip the meal and join them for coffee afterwards so that you've at least put in an appearance. I wouldn't be happy either, to accept an "on condition that I approve of your choice" dinner invitation. It seems a bit off, but I wouldn't say so. I'd just reject the "with strings" offer, but not the person by taking one of the above actions. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 I don't like the way your friend handled it, although I can understand standing firm in his beliefs. All he had to do was to invite everyone to a vegan restaurant and then, it would be up to the individuals to accept or decline his invitation. It's silly to create needless drama with your friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 I agree that, on this one occassion, I can probably go without meat. But would you refuse to pay for someone who didn't share your religious or political beliefs? Is this occassion going to take place in a restaurant where many dishes are available? If that is the case then I'd say people should order anything they want and pay for it, because it was an option. But if he was hosting a dinner in his house, to expect him to serve meat is pretentious. Link to post Share on other sites
allina Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 He's not dictating his beliefs on you. He isn't saying that you're not allowed to eat animals. He's saying that he will not pay for it. I'm like that too. Slaughtering animals so you can eat their flesh, while there are TONS of other foods to eat is repulsive and I will not have any part in it, my money isn't going to support that kind of thing. Vegetarian food is delicious, why don't you appreciate him taking you out to eat at a nice place instead of worrying about not having meat for ONE meal. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 Or just order the tofurkey. I hear it's very good. Link to post Share on other sites
allina Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 Or just order the tofurkey. I hear it's very good. Oh Touche, you and your not knowing when to retire a joke Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 tofurkey ... that's a weird mental image! OP, while your buddy might be generous in that he's trying to broaden people's palate AND paying for their meals, his delivery sucked. A much more tactful invitation would be to say "I'm treating everyone for a vegan meal at X's, and I'd love for you to come." I think that'd be pretty clear that he was only paying for vegmeals and not any other kind. But the way he phrased it made it sound like bullying. of course, you *could* mess with his mind and say, "Dude, I'll pay the difference in cost for the meaty meal" seriously though, you'll just have to overlook his bad manners if you want to take up his offer. I imagine the restaurant will have tasty selections that'll broaden your palate ... and banish any preconceived ideas you have about that kind of eating lifestyle. Link to post Share on other sites
motive2002 Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 I wanna take you out to the movies, but I am NOT getting any of that gross, greasy popcorn they serve. It's disgusting. If you want any of that you're gonna have to pay for it yourself. Oh and I shot a tofurkey once. Blasted it dead as a doornail then ate it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Quinch Posted March 22, 2009 Author Share Posted March 22, 2009 A much more tactful invitation would be to say "I'm treating everyone for a vegan meal at X's, and I'd love for you to come." Precisely I was always taught that when you're hosting a meal for friends, either at your own home or at a restaurant, your duty is to make all your guests feel comfortable and relaxed. If they want to eat something you don't approve of then you keep it to yourself. That's good manners. Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 Next time, treat the group to a nice meal but let them know you will only be paying for the meat dishes. See how that goes over... Oh and order pasta for this vegan only meal. Link to post Share on other sites
Someguy19 Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 I love Muse! Sorry Link to post Share on other sites
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