All_for_you Posted September 29, 2002 Share Posted September 29, 2002 [color=brown][/color] I am very sad because my good friend finished her degree and went back to her home country. I am too bored to live by myself now. The flatmates are not friendly and very selfish to talk for a monent. It is too bored for me to live by myself now. Everyday I didn't talk to anyone about some common interest. I want to kill my flatemates! True! - It is only an angry sentence. Link to post Share on other sites
Author All_for_you Posted September 29, 2002 Author Share Posted September 29, 2002 [color=darkred][/color] I hate the flatmates! Because all day long nobody talk to one another for a moment. Even when I try to talk to them. They Went into their rooms. I really want to Kill Them! I am too bored to live by myself now since my best friend finished her degree and went back to her home country. It is so hard to live by oneself without any talk everyday. Only greeting, then they slip into their rooms. Also they have some sort of envy at me, because my grade is better than theirs. Every their greetings are like this: Are you very busy? You shool bag is so large!-means that I study harder than them. All of them try to compete with me. It makes me sick! I cannot make friends with them because of their envy. However, I am an undergraduate, they are already doing postgraduate in Marketing. It annoyed me very much! They all have full time working expenrience or some special admission to the University. That is why they can do the postgraduate because they have working experience or some lucky opportunity. I really hate them. I hate them compete with me! Not in the same level. They even envy eveyone in the Uni that" there are so many people in the library today!" is their everyday talk- they are afraid that anybody is doing better than them. It is so angry for me to hear these every day and look at their worried face. I want to kill them!!! Really. Ella Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted September 29, 2002 Share Posted September 29, 2002 Part of the educational process is learning to live with a diversity of people and to get along with them no matter what the circumstances. They didn't get the flat with you for social purposes anyway. They got the flat with you to pool financial resourses and save money on living expenses while in school. They are not obligated to talk to you and that wasn't in the agreement, although it would be nice if there was more of a social interaction. But there isn't so live with it. Get away from your living quarters and seek friendship with those who have more in common with you, intellectually and otherwise. Find friends you can interact with in other settings, at your university or other places. The people store is full of nice friends to pick from. Learn to stop expecting or demanding that others behave in ways you want them to...because, until the day you die, people are going to act and be what they are. and not one ounce different. Get used to it and take some responsibility for making your own life rich and rewarding. Don't depend on flatmates or any others to make you happy. Get off your butt and go find enjoyment for yourself and leave your flatmates alone. They don't owe you a thing!! Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted September 29, 2002 Share Posted September 29, 2002 The penalty for murder is life in prison and death in some places. You are best served by finding nice friends away from your flat. You flatmates have no obligation whatsoever to you to keep you entertained. Link to post Share on other sites
Author All_for_you Posted September 30, 2002 Author Share Posted September 30, 2002 I did help one of them when she was at high pressure of study, she didn't have previous study but she must study the third year and then she can study postgraduate. When she is sick, I cooked for her ,gave medicine to her and I gave much advice to her and I encourage her that she can do without previous knowdge.That is surported her. But the hardship was gone now and she was not as busy as before and I became the one she envied and focused at everyday. It is ridiculous. So, now I guess my advice may be a source of her envy at me. Damp! I think I should learn not to appear cleverer in front of people??-a new skill?It is wrong for me to appear clever to her and give her heaps of advice. I can't find a way for myself!? But I can get through it. I am considering to move to another flat next year, but one of them will definitely move out, then another flatmate will move in. The new flatmate is also in same year of study as me. I think maybe I can make friends with her. I like the flat itself because it is very near uni and in very good conditions. I really want another of them to move out,but it is not decided by me, it is by her. The one I helped before has said that she will stay. It annoyed me she will stay. But never mind. I hate her mostly, because I helped her before. So confused. Please give advice I should move or not. Link to post Share on other sites
All_fot_you Posted September 30, 2002 Share Posted September 30, 2002 Tony, Thanks for your opinion! I find it is helpful. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted September 30, 2002 Share Posted September 30, 2002 Perhaps they are busy studying and are busy with their own lives, so they don't have time to entertain you in the evenings? Or perhaps they don't like talking with you because you seem to have this crazy idea that they are so jealous of you that they don't want to associate with you. It sounds to me like YOU are jealous of THEM. Their comments that you mentioned don't sound jealous to me--they sound like basic, idle chitchat that people make when they don't know what else to say. Do you even have anything in common with them? Look, if you are unhappy, move out. That's all you can do here. You can't force them to be friends with you. But be forewarned that the new people you move in with also have lives and things they were doing before they met you, so they, too, might end up going to their room each night to study or read or whatnot. It's no one's job to make sure that you are happy. That's up to you. Your other alternative is to meet some new friends. Isn't there anyone in your class you could hang out with? Link to post Share on other sites
All_for _you Posted September 30, 2002 Share Posted September 30, 2002 My friends are very hardworking ones. They don't live with me and in the library all day long. It is likely that only people in the same flat can talk everyday. I didn't envy them at all. It is an absolute answer. I chatted with one of them with the topic in her research. I know and discuss most arguments and findings of her research without seeing her project, this may make her sick. But I feel sorry for her that I didn't mean to hurt her feelings. Not sure! I am very disappointed they are so poor. I will never show clever later. No way out! Get through it. Thanks for your opinion! Maybe I do envy them because they are already doing postgraduate, but so poor!? I can't find any reason I envy them besides this one. Tony is right, I just can't stand the way they behaved. But there is no reason and maybe no way for me to change others' behaviour. I should learn to survive! Eveything is unfair in fact. Is it true? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted September 30, 2002 Share Posted September 30, 2002 It is just totally insane to expect or demand that flatmates, who are there totally for the convenience of sharing expenses, have an obligation to converse with you or keep you company. I understand it would be nice if they did, but that's not how the world works. You seem to be intent on continuing your hopes up that your flatmates will one day become great buddies but that's not likely to happen. I think the problem is definitely with you and your inability to accept reality and your desire to change it. Work on that and look for social interaction outside your flat. If you are really desperate for human interaction, join some organizations or just go talk to the people on the street...some are likely to be willing to engage in some small talk with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted September 30, 2002 Share Posted September 30, 2002 If you want to kill someone bc they don't cater to your needs, then you have serious mental problems. Check yourself into a hospital. Link to post Share on other sites
heva Posted January 21, 2003 Share Posted January 21, 2003 I don't think you a nutter! I also live in a shared household and HATE with a passion my lazy inconsiderate messy thieving dirty drug abusing flatmates. I feel an outsider in my own home especially when the bring drug dealers and loud mates back to the house and i have to spend the night in my room because they push me out. I know how it feels when you want to get along but you live with a bunch of bastards who only look out for themselves. When you help people out and do favours, it's be nice for somekind of help in return-and asking them to be pleasant to you is not asking for a lot! My advice is that your not alone and dont feel forced out of a house that you like and you pay for! Know that its short term and your saving money by living with a**h***s! You can only comment on this situation if you've ever lived with **** flatmates otherwise you dont know what it's like and how much it stresses you out. Dont get too worked up about it! Link to post Share on other sites
lil_regrets Posted January 22, 2003 Share Posted January 22, 2003 If ur flatmates dont talk to u. Accept it. Some ppl r like that. Whats important is that you start feeling bad about yourself. Go out and enjoy yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
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