Hello

[Mr Happy]

Hello ppl,

Something has been wreckung my head for a year now so here goes.

About a year ago a lady i work with started showing me some attention(She is 30's and married with 2 children,i'm 40,married with 2 children),i was chuffed as you don't think anybody else would fancy you when you've been married for so long,15 yrs. I knew her already so i knew who she was but didn't know what kind of person she was like.

 

We got really into each other,texts,msn,phoning each other etc until the day came when i told her what she wanted me to say,"I fancy you".She said she wanted me to say this to her so i asked to see her but she bottled out.We were both having a bad time at home hence why this thing started.

 

We decided that,even though we didn't want to,it was best to remain just friends. We have known each other now for a year and we are the best of mates.She tells me she adores me and i care for her alot.We both know that if we had sex then the friendship would end which would be a real shame.I have got to say she is the most amazing woman i have met in my life.Our parteners don't about our friendship as it's a friendship with an edge to it.Wrong we know but sometimes we need each other.

 

We know EVERYTHING about each other,when i say EVERYthing i mean the lot ! We talk about anything and everything,she is like my sister and i'm her bro. We fell in love with each other back then but maybe it was lust at first.We didn't mean it to happen but who does !

 

I still after a year have slight feeling towards her,i want them to go as i love my wife but i can't. It would be a real shame if we wern't friends as we are very close,we've cryed together,laughed together etc. We have never kissed or had sex which i'm proud of saying as we both know that would be the end of the friendship.

 

I need some advice as to what to do ? Should i remain friends or not ?

Sometimes she hurts my feelings and messes me about.I know she doesn't mean to but i'm very sensitive and she knows this. I would do anything for her and have done plenty in the past.I've a heart of gold and am very caring.

 

I think it would be a shame if we didn't as she is the best female friend i've ever had and she's told me i'm her best male friend in the whole world.

 

My head is wrecked some days,even though i've got a loving wife and the best friend you could ask for. I think i'm less of a friend to her than she is to me ! Should i ask her how much of a friend she wants me to be,and i do mean friend !!

 

She means the world to me and nobody knows this apart from us.We've kept our friendship a secret from all our friends.

 

Thanks for taking time to read this,i hope it makes sense. xxx

[2sunny]

this should be in the infidelity forum, in my opinion. you might get better responses there since what is happening with you two is emotionally cheating on your spouses.

 

the fact that you keep this friendship from your spouse is a huge red flag that this is inappropriate and hurtful to your marriage. when things are secret - that indicates that something is wrong.

 

also, if you were to put all of the time, energy and attention to your wife instead of this friend - just think how much better your marriage could be. this OW is basically stealing from your marriage and you are standing there allowing and encouraging it.

 

one does not have to have sex or kiss another person for it to be cheating. just google emotional infidelity/cheating to find out how this "friendship" is robbing you of a healthy commitment with your wife.

 

let us know how that goes.

[Mr Happy]

Thanks for the reply,thats got me thinking alot about whats most important to me.

 

Maybe i live in a fantasy land and want the best of both world's ?

 

It's not easy this "LIFE" thing is it.

[amaysngrace]

It's wrong to put so much time into another relationship when you should be giving that time to your marriage.

 

She is not your friend, nor are you hers. If you were truly friends you'd each have enough respect for one another and for each others' marriages to not entertain this sneaky behavior.

[steveraves]

Hello ppl,

 

We know EVERYTHING about each other,when i say EVERYthing i mean the lot ! We talk about anything and everything,she is like my sister and i'm her bro. We fell in love with each other back then but maybe it was lust at first.We didn't mean it to happen but who does !

 

 

This is somewhat of a disturbing thought...lol

 

With your entire post, I've been there and done that and it's in part why my marriage is coming to an end. We never had sex, but there was a strong emotional bond, and like you I fell in love.

 

The part where you mention that you fell in love be forwarned you're treading on VERY thin ice.

 

My advice distance yourself from this person and cease communication phone, msn ect. Nothing and I mean nothing good will come from this, only bad. More than likely the longer it goes on the better your chances of getting caught.

 

Find out what is missing in your marriage and put effort and attention into that, otherwise eventually you may be posting in the Breaking up/Separation forum and more often then not those stories don't turn out well.