My best friend sold me out

[Alex]

hey,

 

Well I've been really good friends with this dude for a while now and you know.. we r best friends and that and he has this girlfriend; she is the typical lil "bitch" if you'll excuse me, big boobs, big arse, jumps around too much, think she knows best and aint too smart... she also pisses everyone off and has a rep for being a slut. So anyways, I was a really good friend to her coz I dont wanna have 2 leave the room when she jumps on my best friend u know? well anyways, we was becoming like pretty close and everything and she was tellin me how she flirted with a few guys while she was goin out with my buddy (lets call my freind Bob and the girl Jody) and I mentioned this time we bought 2 girls drinks while Bob was seeing her and she was like "really?" and she asked him and the little bugger denied it. So she calls me up and tells me this, and i was like "i dont care if he denied it, its true, and i dont care if you dont beleive me" that kinda argument. I hung up and that was the end of it, we hated each other.

 

Then we went on this school holiday kinda thing and they looked like they were going to break up because she knew he hated smoking and said she would give up if he helped her and he found out she had been smoking. And it got progressivly worse, so I told him that at the weekend prior to the trip she had got with another dude who was in the same class... I asked him not to mention my name coz of safty reasons (IE his bitch) This happened and that dude came round really angry and so did she and she was yelling some REALLY nasty things "you've got no friends" etc. which is a load of bull coz i only keep TRUE friends and about 5 of them said they would back me up 100% and was on my side which made me feel alot better but Jody went on bitchin to all the other girls (quick) and she came back and started yelling at me some more and my best friend Bob was in the room and she yelled at him "did u buy some girls drinks like Alex said?" and he looked down and said no. At that point i just felt sick.... not only could he not keep my name out of his mouth like he promised but he just called me a liar.

 

Needless to say I'm angry at him and even if we do patch things up I am never going to be able to trust his sellout arse again..

 

what do you think?

[Tony T]

I think YOU are the one with the big mouth, YOU are the one who has sold people out and you've got a LOT to learn. That is, if I understood your post correctly. It wasn't the easiest thing to read.

 

You told her about stuff that you and your friend (her boyfriend had done) and you told your friend about stuff that his girlfriend (who you also say is your friend) had done. You are some kind of piece of work!

 

This is pretty classless stuff you're talking about here. But you shot off your mouth about your friend and the girl. I wouldn't trust you as far as I can spit.

 

Go out and get some morals and principles. Right now, I don't see how you could qualify as a friend to anybody with the way you freely betray confidences and tattletale (something small children do).

 

I pray that sometime in the future you will learn to keep things to yourself. Then I may have a different opinion of you.

 

I really really really want to think more of you. Go work on yourself and zip thy lip!

[Alex]

bit harsh, you did misinterpret my post.

 

I was only bein freindly to the bitch, jus 2 keep the peace u know? Coz she was sayin all this bull bout my friend and making all her friends think the same, shes ur tpical "popular girl". It aint the easiest thing in the world to say coz its kinda got some background to it to, like she has always REALLY like seriously been nasty to me,i was the only person in the whole year group that she didnt invite to her party. And i know shes only puttin on a smily face 2 me anyway so I knew she hated me already. I just felt that he needed some ammunition against her because she was spreadin loads of ish to all her crowd and he couldnt really do anything. I guess i kinda wanted 2 get back at her 2.

 

I do got morales and I'm 14

[midori]

You admitted above that you were trying to get back at her, that you were a fake friend to her, and she was to you. You wanted to make her feel bad, so you told her about the time you and her boyfriend hit on other girls. ... right OK. I can see why you'd want to do that. I'll take your word for it that she's as awful as you say.

 

Except, whose friend are you? You were never her friend, you were his. You seemed to have completely forgotten that your friend's feelings were involved, that he had much more at stake with your revelation than your petty wish for revenge. You got in your little dig at HIS expense, not hers. You don't approve of her, you'd prefer that your friend dumped her, and you'll do what you can to help that to happen -- that's what you're saying, right? Who are you to make that choice for your friend? Maybe he IS an idiot for choosing to be with her. It's his choice to make, and if you'd butt out and let him make his own decisions, maybe he'd realize that she's not what he wants after all. You could certainly register your protest by making choices of your own -- like leaving when she arrives, spending less time with your friend, etc. Sounds to me like your jealous; territorial about your friend ("I'm not going to leave just because she comes into the room; she can't control me like that.").

 

Here's something you might want to bear in mind: everyone makes mistakes now and then, but no one appreciates having their friends diss their decisions, someone standing behind them saying, "I told you so." And what you did was even worse, you were actually trying to sabotage things for him. Let's hope you never go out with someone your friends disapprove of, because you've set an awful precedent.

 

If you were a friend who was genuinely concerned for his friend's well-being, what you might have done is tell your friend about his gf's revelation about being with someone else. Even that could backfire on you if he just couldn't bear to face the facts and instead blamed the messenger (you). That's the risk you'd have to take, but it would be worth it if you felt that it was something he really needed to know about. Your approach was wrong-headed from start to finish. Don't pretend to be her friend; you never were. Don't patronize your friend by trying to make his personal decisions for him or force his hand. Stay out of other people's relationships. If your friend's relationship with his gf disgusts you, avoid them when they're together. You don't get to pick what your friend does and with whom. You only get to make those decisions for yourself.

 

I think you owe your friend an enormous apology.