LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Platonic > Friendship

"Breaking up" with a friend because of THEIR relationship drama...


Friendship Having issues with a friend? Get it off your chest!

 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 10th February 2009, 10:49 AM   #16
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Verulamium, England
Posts: 6,451
Don't hyjack this one, hun.....

Start a new thread.
Geishawhelk is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11th February 2009, 1:19 PM   #17
Member
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 36
Why are you friends with someone like this?

People sometimes change in friendships and we may have to let go of friendships because they are no longer fun. It's harsh but necessary.

Even if she let herself get out of hand, you are not responsible so maybe just not being there may inspire her to clean up her act - or it may not but it is a situation where you need to walk away from.

We've all lost friends for one reason or another. find new ones.
onefunnybabe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12th February 2009, 6:32 PM   #18
Established Member
 
Virgo1982's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: On your mind
Posts: 796
It hurts...

But it's necessary to let go of her. If she is ever going to realize, you can reconcile when she gets herself together. I tried with a friend like that, but she turned on me. Even when I tried to listen, she seemed upset that I knew what SHE TOLD ME when they would get back together. Finally, I realized that it made her feel better to redirect negative energy and that she did not want-nor did she care for-a good friend. I also found that if I was having a rough time, she loved the company. But if anything good happened for me, she tried to force her misery on me. What's really sad is that she is completely oblivious and does not have a clear picture of who she is. Your friend will focus on the faults of others-her bf included-to avoid repairing her own damaged self.

Like another poster said, she will get to a point where she can run no more. I don't know if you would be willing to befriend her again. I choose not to and do not foresee a change of heart. I even began to think they deserved each other. One of his friends might be on LS asking the same questions you are. He can change just as she can change.

If you're thinking of ending the friendship, chances are, she's not a great girlfriend either. I hope she finds peace, but both of them need to make a change. They are both victims of themselves.
__________________
"He that will not reflect is a ruined man." -Asian Proverb
Virgo1982 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12th February 2009, 6:51 PM   #19
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 26,422
As an update: He's continuing to drive her business in to the ground. She's terrified of heights, and he convinced her to go sky diving last week. In addition, they just purchased a house together.

Lovely.
Star Gazer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12th February 2009, 7:24 PM   #20
New Member
 
panoramicsauce's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Mpls, MN
Posts: 9
To look at the other side of the coin a little bit here...

...it's very possible that she has zero self-esteem and thinks that she has to fight for the one she loves because she won't ever have another chance.

I'm not saying that doesn't make her a EV to a extent....but there's always the chance that she has no idea what else to do.

In my personal opinion I would tell her that I was worried about her and find out exactly why she feels the need to be with him, every time she starts with the drama or the poor me attitude, I would redirect her away from it and just tell her you want to know the reasons, not the outcomes of specifics.

And just cause he convinced her to go skydiving when she has a fear isn't a bad thing, A LOT of times we have to be pushed, hard, to get over fears! The tattoo on my wrist says "Let Go, Have No Fear", it's there to remind me that fear is natural and the only way to move forward in your life is to let go of it. Which by the way, might be something else she is feeling, fear.

I don't know how much this actually helped you, but I just wanted to try!
__________________
Is is love or instinct that compells us?
panoramicsauce is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12th February 2009, 7:30 PM   #21
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 26,422
Quote:
Originally Posted by panoramicsauce View Post
...it's very possible that she has zero self-esteem and thinks that she has to fight for the one she loves because she won't ever have another chance.
Oh no. It's not "very possible" that she has zero self-esteem, it's a GIVEN. Who else would tolerate what she has? I've left out SO much, you have no idea. Her BF is the lowest of the low.

Quote:
In my personal opinion I would tell her that I was worried about her and find out exactly why she feels the need to be with him, every time she starts with the drama or the poor me attitude, I would redirect her away from it and just tell her you want to know the reasons, not the outcomes of specifics.
She doesn't have a woah-is-me attitude about it. She explains that the reason she's with him is because "he is her one." That "love conquers all." That they "are soulmates." That they "are meant to be." That "he's a good guy deep down inside, he just needs another chance from someone who loves him as much as I do." And my personal favorite, "He just made a mistake. Everyone deserves forgiveness." A "mistake"? Sticking your d*ck in another woman for 2+ years and manipulating and lying and carrying on an entire other life for that period of time is not a "mistake."

Ever hear a battered woman explain why she stays? That's the sort of thing that comes out of her mouth.

Blech. If THAT is love... I don't want it. Ever.
Star Gazer is offline   Reply With Quote
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
the "friend" relationship Bree2007 Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy 17 12th October 2007 1:56 PM
Old "friend" suddenly "back in my life"...now that I'm dating her old crush. mintjulep Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy 0 25th January 2006 3:46 PM
Reducing status from "relationship" to "casual dating" masaki1085 Dating 3 1st January 2006 1:40 AM
Why is the relationship with the other person or "friend" so important? jen78nc Infidelity 8 27th October 2005 9:43 PM
thinking about breaking it off: seems to me he's milking the "sick" thing sunnie23 Breaks and Breaking Up 4 1st September 2003 6:20 PM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 2:23 PM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.